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i dont dream of it i just look at her and i see myself snapping her neck or suffocating her. but i hold my self back. because i love her. its almost like i love her so much i hate her.
Please get some therapy before you do something that you'll regret! Therapy is confidential so, if you get a doctor who specialises in your problem you should be fine. However, you should get a therapist instead of a psychiatrist. Therapist can't prescribe medication and their focus is more on actually getting down and helping the person. A psychiatrist pill pushes and is basically a legal drug dealer. They care more about improperly diagnosing so that they can prescribe you pills, which means more money for them, instead of treating and caring for their patients.
Please get some therapy and don't start killing Innocent cats you nut. You sound insane.
This isn't abnormal. It's the repressed alphamale deep within you, something useful a few thousand years ago. as long as you don't ever actually hurt your kittay you'll be fine.