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Ever since I was eight or younger I've always just wanted to die at thirty. It's almost like I know I'm going to die then or something about that age is somewhat ritualistic or something. I can't really explain it. I just don't see a future past thirty and it's a little trippy.
When I was young (late teens) I thought I would be dead by 30 because of my life style choices. Here I am now, 33 and making better choices. Sometimes I think I want to die when I'm 40 or 50 due to fear of aging but as the time gets closer I think twice. Plus I look at my parents and see that they're not too shabby at 60. I never saw a future past 30 when I was young either but now that I'm here, I can't see myself at 40, AT ALL! So I think it's just natural to feel that way. If it's really consuming you, maybe you should talk to a "professional". :D Good luck!
That is a really good job in explaining it from experience alone. I felt the same way when I was 8-9yrs old and desired to die because I was abused during my childhood and I felt very insignificant in this world. But like booboo stated when you get older, it's not that bad or that fearful. When I got into karate and started to learn balance, I started to find my path and I started to learn that life is more than what we think of it. It is more than just being a Doctor, lawyer, blue collar worker. It is much much more than what society labels you. We are all significant and we are all important. We all cause a ripple affect in our thoughts and choices we make. Find your balance in the things you enjoy doing and harness it as yours. Find out how it can be useful and don't be stressed if it doesn't come to you all of a sudden. Just be patient with your growth and do your best to endure the growing pains. If you keep yourself focused on the happiness in your life, things will be revealed to you with the people you meet in your life or because of circumstances. As my Sensei taught me when I hit the karate student next to me when we were doing our movements: "Be aware of your surroundings! When you see a wall, don't run into it, make your adjustments. Just because no one else had to make the adjustments establishes how 'different' you are. And respect your body, mind, and spirit. If your hurting, recognize it, and find balance and remember when a bad thought comes to your mind, counter balance it with good thoughts and know you are significant spirit." I hope this helps and I pray you do find "balance". :)
I have to say that my life has flown in!
I can remember being 19 then I was 25 then I was 32 then I was 37 and stopped. All the years in between those and all those after have all blurred into one big party and I've so much to do yet that I can't opt out or give up.
Keep going 30 is young!!
I don't think I've ever heard of that before. So abnormal..... To me.
Just be careful of what you do though. You can probably do something subconciously that will get you killed at age thirty. That doesn't sound pleaseant.
I've been wanting to die before I hit my 40's. I suppose it comes from my fear of ageing. But who knows? I might change my mind and continue to live much longer, to infinity and beyond:)
Wheither 30,40,50 all dead is dead. The world is not that important to age. Its the normal thought. But dont 4get your God
I dunno how to deal with aging , it scares the f'k out of me. 30's ok tho , still so young .
60 would hurt tho but watching my uncle you can still be very young in your 50's and the girls love him.
It's confusing though , met this olde guy 72 once and he had a home gym . Not kidden he had a better body than most 20 yr olds, great skin , face was a little wheathered tho but he really made me think .
Cherish life, the world does not make life difficult for the threshold, I believe the future will be better children.
I thought twenty five when i was a teen. I just had this feeling, like i was doomed. But it changes as you get older. Not really normal, but your not alone with that idea i'd say.
.....Are you me?
I thought I was the only one who felt that same feeling since I was a kid that 30 was my ending age.
I think we're both abnormal, but my god it's nice to know I'm not alone!