Is it normal i wish my mother dead?

I I know some people may come onto this and think "gees, that's awful" or "oh she's in a mood and doesn't mean it" but truly I do. I often fantasies that one day when I hear my mum outside my room about to walk down the stairs that she trips and falls. And in this fantasy I merely put my headphones in and listen to a bit of whatever comes on via shuffle. And then my dad would come home, and she would have lost too much blood and that would be that.

I know this seems psychotic so let me fill you in. I'm 20 years old and every time I look at my mother or have to suffer her existence, I feel boiling rage and hatred. Don't think for one minute I would harm her. All I wish is that God would do me a favour and strike her down with an incurable illness and she would be out of my hair before 21 comes along.

She was a teen mum and ever since I can remember I have looked after myself. I made my own breakfast, got myself ready for school and she would still be in bed when I came home at 3pm. She re writes the past mind whenever you ask her, according to her I had a blissful childhood. My mums a woman who gets anything by laying on her back, she had me which equalled a house, then my sister which landed her another man with money, and finally my new Daddy who has paid for us to live in a nice house and for her lazy ass to smoke 20 a day and then make out 'that she worked for it'. I should also mention that she is disabled, not in a big way, not disabled when she wants to go to the Download Festival (yeah she loves rock and makes sure that every one of my friends knows how 'Boring and Old fashioned' her daughter is and how in touch she is.), but anyway, when she wants to go out with her scum friends shes not disabled but when it comes to cleaning the house or helping me or my sister out or EVEN getting a job then suddenly her leg hurts. I do not remember my Mother ever holding down a job to be honest.

I should also mention that Daddy number 2 used to physically hurt me, bruises and the like. But as my Mother so often re writes history ("oh no, you must be mistaken that never happened. you really need to see a doctor about these lies.") it never apparently happened. I was always round my Grandparents as a child, cried when I had to go home. My nan always protects my mum, saying to stop criticising my mum as she's a great mum and has 'issues' that shes addressing. She has now even given my mum a shitty job answering the phones for her business for £80 a week. And what has my mum done? Made out how her job is more important then mine (Im a PA for a top company in Oxford for gods sake) and how Nan and her have this special bond I'll never have. The job is a glorified answer phone,She also sits on her ass playing on facebook apps all day(even when doing the job), then swans off in her lovely sports car to buy fags and whatever she feels like because she can afford it! LOL

I briefly moved out a year ago and ended up with a violent boyfriend (who also raped me). When I did come to my mum for help she told me ' I'd made my bed'. Only because of my nan intervening was I 'allowed' to move back home to save up to move out again. And boy, does she let me know every day what a screw up I am. Whenever I have good news she has to outdo me, she lies, cheats and constantly belittles everyone and now thanks to her lies, my nan wants nothing more to do with me and wont believe my side.

If I try to bond with the new dad my mum will get in the way and ruin it. She bosses him around all day, sends him out at 1am for fags and has a screaming match if he doesnt, and when he gets back off a 12 hour shift she expects him to do housework!.

I'm saving up to move out again but Oxford is horrendously expensive so now having to save up for a mortgage... I also have a cat who i bought to fill the void of loneliness whilst I live here. Now she's saying im an abusive owner

does any one else have this issue?

Voting Results
87% Normal
Based on 173 votes (150 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 9 )
  • weallhatesuckylife

    I feel your pain,and I'm suffering the same thing about mothers.For me,my mother is a total bitch laying her ass on my father's coattail.Every night,she treats me like a very dirty slave.I wasn't born to be her fucking maid.I even imagined about her moving away with some ass guy and stay away from my peaceful family like,forever.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • JenAus1217

    I can fully understand your resentment/hatred for your mother. I feel sorry for you because you have such an irresponsible and selfish mother. However, I really think that you shouldn't wish her dead, no matter how bad and terrible she is.

    It's really normal for you to hate her. But why wishing her dead? It's a question that you need to think about seriously. Would her death literally do you any good? You've been independent and you don't actually need her anymore. You can just live perfectly as if she never existed in this world.

    In another way, if you really hate her so much and you wish for revenge, it may be better for your mother to be alive until she's old. I hate to say so because I know these words are so malicious. But it'd even be a greater punishment when someday she gets really old and probably becomes sick and has nobody to take care of/ truly care for her or nobody to rely on. Many people start to regret and feel guilty about all the bad things they have done in their whole life when they finally become old/lonely/ill or close to death.

    But after all, however deplorable a person she is, nothing can change the fact that she's your mother, the one who gave birth to you, the one who gave you this life and the opportunity to breathe. No matter how many bad things your mother's done or how irresponsible she's been so far, at least she has done one good thing for you. You are a fully grown person now and you surely have a bright future.

    I know that forgiving her would be so hard or even impossible for you, but time will change people's minds. You don't need to forgive your mother right away, but at least you should try to put down this hatred. Life is what you make it. If you keep letting this hatred bother you, then this hatred'd only get greater and you'd grown sick of it. On the contrary, if you can live your life apart from your mother and leave this hatred behind you, then you may put down this heavy burden of mind.

    Good luck :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • weallhatesuckylife

      I like your advice really,sometimes those mothers really made us stronger,I don't do boo-hoo in front of her yelling and cursings anymore.At least it's peaceful when she's asleep.But it's really tough life with a mother like mine,trust me.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Sweet_Semaj

    I’m a Christian and I love the Lord but I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish my mother was dead. If I had a better mother my life wouldn’t be the way it is now, my mother is the cause to why I don’t have anything going for myself. I forgive her each chance I get but in all actuality whenever I do forgive her she does something else to make me hate her all over again. I just wish she was gone from my life so I can live the best life that God has called for me to live.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • poopytaco

    dont. a*s!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • woopwoopjumpjump

    I hate my mum she's done so much to me she's hurt me a lot in a lot of ways. I don't want to go into it, but trust me, I understand. <3

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • nAt2017

    She's not supportive, and that's really what a mother should be. I'm very sorry for you. At the same time, perhaps it's time to forget. If she doesn't care for you, then you should find someone who does.

    She is your mother, and she is the one who gave you life (in whatever state). So you shouldn't wish her to death. After all, if she's dead, she can't change. Perhaps, when you think it to be right, you should try and improve her ways. If that doesn't work, then it just doesn't work.

    Good luck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • you have been independant all yr life as you say, well take it the next step and look at mother in a different way, from a distance. she will be smaller then

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

      this. even if it's expensive... well that's what roommates are for.

      Comment Hidden ( show )