Is it normal my introvert boyfriend barely asks to see me?

32% Normal
10 Comments

My boyfriend is a very busy introvert. I’ve seen him around his friends & he’s super happy/energetic/bubbly. But he seems nothing like that with me

He’s a musician & is constantly writing songs, all of the time, & sending them to me, but he barely asks to see me, bc he wants to work on songs instead. He will text me every day, enthusiastically, for a week, but never ask to see me. I will ask him if he wants to do something & he always wants to stay in instead. He is so focused on writing songs/producing

He will ask to see me like, once a week & never ever notices when I’m gone. Once I went on vacation for 2 weeks & didn’t see him, all he said when I returned was “ok come here look at this song I wrote”. no hug, eye contact, how are you, nothing. went happily straight to the computer instead

What do I do? It’s been really pressing on me. He’s never “present” when we’re together. He’s often just on his phone too. He's relaxed & happy. Is he emotionally unavailable or what? Or is it just bad time for him in relationship? Idk what to do

I am a musician too, but I always make time for family & friends. Maybe he is not as socially developed/aware as me

Voting Results
32% Normal
Based on 19 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • SkullsNRoses
    2 years ago | pl

    He doesn’t sound particularly interested in your relationship. You can’t force someone to be excited to see you, I would cut your losses here, sorry.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Thank you💗

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    2 years ago

    My ex who had autism was like that, I had to break up because I couldn't handle his lack of closeness in our relationship. One of us would go on vacation or just be away all day and get back he would act like I was never gone. He also was obsessed with writing code for websites and designing them for friends so he was always preoccupied and he'd show me them often and didn't seem enthusiastic about the relationship.I didn't feel like I was in a relationship actually. He rarely hugged me and I just didn't feel close to him at all. We were young at the time and I didn't know what to expect but later I realized it's good I broke up with him because that's definitely not normal or healthy.

    And as a disclaimer I just wanted to say I know not all people with autism are like that but in this guy's case it was his autism that made him that way. He actually had several relationships after me all of which the girl broke up with him after a few months.

    You're not in a healthy relationship. Get out.

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  • kikilizzo
    2 years ago

    It's possible he still likes you but you're clearly not compatible. You don't seem as introverted as him.
    I find that often guys like that choose long distance relationships on purpose so they can do their own things alone without having to feel pressured to hang out, I call them hardcore introverts.

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  • anonymoussss
    2 years ago

    he is stupid

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  • Billy247newaccount_35467829
    2 years ago

    ..If you're not happy with the relationship, just cut ties with him. Jesus christ.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Thanks. It’s really hard because we work together & have big project at end of year so I’ve been holding out.

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      • DADNSCAL
        2 years ago

        All the more reason to break it off now. So-called “office” romances seldom work out well. You’ll end up hating each other and put your jobs in jeopardy.

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      • Billy247newaccount_35467829
        2 years ago

        Oh okay. And you're welcome.

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  • DADNSCAL
    2 years ago

    I think you need to find a b/f that will give you the attention your desire and deserve. He may be satisfied with the relationship but you’re not.

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