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Im 30 and my new girlfriend is 21. Because of this my mother keeps saying I'm going through a mid life crisis, im crazy etc.
Is it normal
People always have problems with who someone else dates.
Mid life crisis does not happen until 40 something.
That's a fairly significant age gap, but not an enormous one. If you were 45 and your girlfriend was 18, then your mother might have cause to believe you were going through a mid-life crisis of some sort, but she still wouldn't have the right to go all bitchy on you.
Your mother has the right to think whatever she wants, but parents who feel the need to express unsolicited opinions about the people their adult kids get involved with are demonstrating an unhealthy degree of attachment. You're thirty, not sixteen. Your mother should have figured out long ago that you're an adult human being who has the right to make your own decisions, and she shouldn't still feel that she has the right to try to tell you how to live your life.
I have to wonder what your mother's relationship with your father (or her current spouse/partner) is like. It's possible that what's really going on is that she's worried about being traded in for an earlier model, and she's projecting her fears about that onto your relationship with a younger woman.
She’s a bit off, but given you’re in your 30s she’s probably just worried this relationship won’t work and you’ll waste time with her. Moms often want grandkids by the time their kids are your age.
I don’t even think there is such a thing as mid-life crisis, though. But that’s off topic
It's ridiculous for her to use that term at your age and it's really none of her business. You're an adult so tell her so.
Calling it a midlife crisis is a bit much. I'm sure she just wants you to date women closer to your age. Mom's can be a bit over zealous about who their precious little boy is dating.
It shows she cares and is concerned about you. Maybe try and sit her down calmly and explain to her why you like this young woman. She probably wants you to find someone around your age who is more willing to settle down with you soon and give her grandkids