Is it normal that i always felt uncomfortable to do things i like?

It is normal that you feel that way, but it isn't normal that you should have to feel that way. I hope that makes sense, but the only people who are abnormal are your siblings and any other people who make you feel in any way inadequate or unloved. I was where you are when I was younger, I didn't know who I was and was afraid to share what I liked because my mom had treated everything I did like it was wrong. It can take a long time to heal, but you will be better. This is what helped me. Don't give a damn what they thought of you and what people think of you, people who love you love every part of you. Every person is strange and odd and broken. Perfection is boring, people love your flaws. They relate with your flaws, flaws make you unique and special. Your odd qualities are what will make people love you - not whether your just like this person or that. Learning what you love will flow from this, it'll come from a place of love for yourself. You won't see it tomorrow, but all of the sudden, you'll start realizing what makes you happy. The reason they treated you that way is because of their own insecurities, they were young also and didn't know what they were doing. Their insecurities got in the way of them being able to treat you well. Don't think about their treatment of you as being because they hated you or who you were, don't EVER think that their treatment of you was justified, they treated you the way they did because they were broken in some way themselves. You will be misunderstood, you will be hurt, you will be rejected, but that does not mean you are any less important than the next person. This isn't cliche, this is the truth. Believe you deserve the utmost loving treatment, repeat it to yourself. You deserve respect and love, that you are respected and loved. When you are hurt or rejected, it isn't because you did something wrong or you weren't good enough, it was because you and them together didn't work, treat rejection as a gift, I mean it. The quicker it happens, the quicker a person is out of your life who does not love you as much as you deserve. Treat hurt as unacceptable. No matter what, any abuse or hurt against you is not okay. Finally, learn the difference because rejection and lack of support. The people who love you most may hate what your doing because they see so much more in you, because they see you as strong and amazing, hold close to those people. The people who love you would be upset to hear that you feel this way, because they can only see how much you have to offer the world. You may not see those people today - there was a time where I could barely think of one person like this. You will find them if you know what to look for. The people who hate who you are for no good reason are despicable, get rid of them. I hope this helped, it's a lot of writing, but it's no simple problem. How you feel is valid, but I don't want you to feel that way! You deserve better!

well on one hand if you were mean to people, it could be karma coming back to you. On the other hand, sometimes life is awkward, you know? I'd say, look inward and do some meditation and tell yourself that you want to find your true purpose in life. When you find it, you'll be fulfilled and happy