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I'm a teen who has the same reoccuring problem. I meet a girl who is very seeet,funny,smart,charming,etc but it always turna out she's been hurt or injured or damaged some how by someone and I want to rescue her. Be her hero. Is this normal or doni have a white knight complex?
I'm like that too. This one time, I found this girl tied up to the train tracks. I wasn't sure what happened but nevertheless I ran up and untied her, and later that night we started having wild sex. She had a real fantastic body; too bad her head was missing.
Nearly every girl I've liked / been close too has had some sort of issue like their boyfriend used to hit them, they self harmed etc. I don't go looking for girls with issues but when I get to know them it always seems like they have similar problems.
Even if a girl wasn't hurt she'd want to feel like her man would be her white knight if there ever was a situation she needed rescuing. And most girls are hurt in some way, it's whether they admit it to themselves or others that makes the difference. It is definitly normal.
I think that I have this too. Every girl that I have ever been attracted to was emotionally damaged in some way. I always found out later though.
I tend to gravitate towards people who have more emotional damage but I think it's just because I, myself, have some damage. Maybe I think if I help them I'll help myself.
Needless to say, the relationship I'm in now has showed me that it's a bad foundation for a relationship.. Haha.
I used to be like this. My friends called it lame duck syndrome. I grew out of it.
Well, I say I did. I just realised that I met my ex when she had a broken ankle and was on crutches. And I have a long running daydream of dating someone who uses a wheelchair.
Ack! Self-realisation stings!
Dude that's not so lame, that's kinda cool. It gives hope to those who are in wheelchairs! That's why God/evolution made ppl like you, so that those ppl could still find love. :)
It's more of a worry with emotional damage. You run a real risk of looking like you need someone to be dependent on you. There's a fine line between wanting to help someone and wanting a pet victim.
I suppose the question is: would you be attracted to someone if, with your help, she completely recovered and became a confident, outgoing, happy person? Or is there some part of you that would prefer her to stay damaged so that you're always there to pick up the pieces?
I'm not criticising, by the way, but there are plenty of women who would be wary.
You're more than welcome. It sounds like you do want to be a rescuer (as opposed to a manipulator). I did have to say it's a fine line, though, and I mentioned both because, if it crossed my mind, it'd cross other people's minds too.
You pretty much said this in your original post, though and so I do believe your motives are good. It takes patience, tolerance, and care to be there for someone with problems. And I think these are pretty good attributes to have. I hope you'll get your chance to make someone's life better. It's a win-win situation. Good luck to you!
2nd this, but i'd warn u that if u start this process, u have to be carful with them. People like that may test ur will and patience more then u realize, u have too real man it and not half-ass it. Or u could make things worse for them. im lived this. its tough, i wish u luck
Do you genuinely care or are you just trying to get into her vulnerable panties?
Im more than a little insulted. To take advantagr of someone in that way is juat wrong and twisted. It happens every day though and it's tragic. Guys like that give men a bad rap.
I didn't mean to insult you :( I don't know you so I had to ask. There are a lot of guys that are assholes like that. I'm glad your not one of them. Its nice to know there's some good guys out there still. Not that women are any better sometimes. They may even be worse