Is it normal that i believe everyone in my life has used me?

76% Normal

I am 19. I have had a lot of people come and go in my life, some were important to me, others not so. Every single person that's been in my life has used me in some way; I feel that they have used me in the way that I was 'just someone there for them' and that they never truly cared about me or my feelings. In one case I had a very close friend who I honestly trusted at the start and for the first time I really cared for them and they ended up pissing off on me not even saying goodbye. Another case is when I was at school and had a different close friend and one day she randomly stopped talking to me for no reason. I ended up hearing things she had been saying like 'she's a cow and asks too many questions, and stuff like 'she's a weirdo that lives in the bush and talks to birds'. I was horrified that this was coming from her! For the record I am not a nutter in the way that I talk to birds and expect them to talk back, and I lived in a beautiful rural area opp the beach. SO my question is is it normal to feel that everyone uses me and that I dislike people in general strongly and don't trust a single person because of this?

Voting Results

76% Normal

Based on 37 votes (28 yes)

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Comments ( 36 )

Hugh*Janus

10 years ago

People like to see themselves as innocent and better than they actually are. I'm sure you used them just as you think they used you. I'm not calling you a bad person by saying this, I'm just pointing out that it's normal for people to both feel used and be users at the same time, only being used is more apparent to you since people don't like to acknowledge their negative sides.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  I understand where you're coming from however I don't use the people I care about. There may be a few I use but they don't expect much from me as I am not a main part of their lives and vice versa.
  
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Hottigene

10 years ago

I just hate the way some people do this to other people just think to yourself what goes around comes Around they will get theres some day also you wouldnt want Friends like this anyway Sweety.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  thanks lovely person for your comment and yes I certainly do believe in Karma that's is why I try be a good person. I really like your username too! :D
  
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  - Hottigene
    
    10 years ago
    
    Im glsd you like it Sweety I wish I knew more about you like your user name Love!
    
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    - randomthoughts
      
      10 years ago
      
      well here I am, just didn't want to give it our since I have a relative on this site that's all.
      
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Karmasbitch

10 years ago

Those people sound like they suck. I feel I have been used and I feel that I have used others in the past as well but I've changed a lot since then. High school kids are just that, they're kids. Don't expect much from them. Just wait until you meet some cool adults. Hopefully they can show you that you can trust some people. I'm still waiting to meet people like that but it will happen!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  thanks for your comment it helps :) and is very true! nice username by the way and karma is deff a bitch xD
  
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  - Karmasbitch
    
    10 years ago
    
    Haha yeah it is. Thanks!
    
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bemah

10 years ago

Don't think that way, if you do, people will continue to fuck you over. If you don't let them get to you, they'll get bored and give up. What i mean to say is that people can't get to you if you don't let them. You can still trust people as long as you understand that almost everyone can be a complete fucking dick at times.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  very good point of view though it does get to me at times, and I don't know how to make it not get to me.
  
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  - bemah
    
    10 years ago
    
    Try to see what they're doing as being about them, and not about you. For example; if they're having issues with their self-esteem they might try to put others down to feel better about themselves
    
    ...or if someone is stressed and angry and they have no way to vent that anger, whoever is closest to them might become a target.
    
    ...Chances are if someone is using you, they don't even know they're doing it, they're to wrapped up in their own issues.
    
    What i mean to say is that you should try not taking it personally, whatever they do is their problem not yours, even if what they happen to be doing is aimed at you.
    
    Good Luck anyway. :P
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      thanks, this is so true and I forget this at times. You are very wise :)
      
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      - bemah
        
        10 years ago
        
        Haha thanks :) But i'm sure if you'd thought it through, it would have dawned on you eventually.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        yes but sometimes it helps more when it comes from another person :)
        
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(s)aint

10 years ago

Haha, its natural for me to say hello to animals but i ignore strangers unless they say something to my face.
I can relate, all YOU need to try and do is to find friends that are more like YOU and who gets you.

It isnt strange at all that you expect the worst out of people, i do too! I believe that every single person in my life will leave me eventually ...BUT i just try to have this at the back of my mind to never trust TOO much but in the same time value every hour and every day i spend with those i care for.

Through my life so far (I'm turning 22) I've been alone in periods of my life. Atm i'm having a slight lack of proper hangouts with my friends, which pisses me off to no ends xD

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  well good on you as animals are waay more nicer than humans I must admit. I do expect that everyone in my life will leave me as well over time as this has already happened with certain people :( I don't think i will be able to find anyone like me out there, no one seems to be different ...
  
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  - (s)aint
    
    10 years ago
    
    Have you tried to find friends through the internet? I've met most of mine in this way xD
    I haven't even dated a guy that i haven't met online!
    
    The internet is fucking perfect when it comes to finding equal minded people, then of course these can betray you too ... One of my assumed closest friends is totally shutting me out- And she was supposed to be "different"
    
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dirtybirdy

10 years ago

Sometimes birds talk back...

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- randomthoughts
  
  10 years ago
  
  true that
  
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  - dirtybirdy
    
    10 years ago
    
    Word.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      what about word..?
      
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Audacia

10 years ago

Don't let your experiences sour you to much. It sounds you're different for your age. This isn't a bad thing but may for the time being limit who would make a good friend. As you get older it'll be easier. Just like I said, dont let these bad experiences stop you trusting everyone

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  wise words, thanks
  
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Short4Words

10 years ago

I think you're being unfair. But I understand how you can feel this way.

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- elizabethcollins
  
  10 years ago
  
  How can you say she's being unfair? I hope you mean she's being to hard on herself by saying she's unfair!! Your only 19 sweetie you'll have many many more people come and go in your lifetime, I know it's not easy to find those true friendships but you will just be more careful who you put yourself out there to until you know forsure what the friends intentions are!! Has for talking to birds, who cares? I talk to my cat and her kittens, it's not like I expect them to answer me, it's a way of showing compassion for animals!! At least a bird won't run around putting a person down to dirt...
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    10 years ago
    
    Thanks for your comment, and agreed I love talking to my animals and being around them waaay more than human beings who are darn right nasty! And I hope to one day meet someone who is truly 'different' from the others but to me that seems impossible atm.
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  I just think it's the truth and yes it is definitely unfair though how am i being unfair?
  
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  - Short4Words
    
    10 years ago
    
    I haven't found a good time to respond back with something worthwhile but all I was trying to say was it's understandable to feel that way, but you shouldn't actually believe it because it's not true. Whether you can see it or not I'm positive there has been at least one person that isn't dependent on you to push themselves up. I often feel used by friends, even by family but I wont go into details. The thing is, everyone uses eachother one way or another, we all have needs and generally the people in our life are there because in one way or another they fill some part of that need, but that's not to say that they also don't carry about you. I'm not saying people haven't used you, I'm just pushing you to look beyond that and truly search to see if that is true because I don't think it is. And if you find it still to be true, I'm sorry, but I want you to know not everyone is like that, there are many more people on this earth and some of them are truly good and I know you will meet people like that if you keep an open mind and and open heart.
    
    My best wishes.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      Interesting point of view and so true. I also believe that everyone uses everyone in their life since it's 'out of need' based on human nature sadly. Thanks for your comment, it really does make sense :)
      
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      - Short4Words
        
        10 years ago
        
        Just remember that we can go be beyond that and be selfless. There are rare moments where you just do something solely for another person, and not even to better your image.
        
        I hope you find that out someday.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        yes true, and I have done that on a few occasions. Have you also tried that ?
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i believe everyone in my life has used me?