Is it normal that i can't commit to anyone or anything?

56% Normal
7 Comments

I am a 32 year old woman. I have had commitment issues my whole life. From relationships to what to study in college, to family functions and plans to go out with friends. I get bored quickly and want to move on when it comes to men and jobs. When its concerning family and friend get togethers, it sounds fun and great so I agree to go, but as soon as I'm obligated to attend, I dread it. Its the same for Dr. Appointments, but not only my own but my daughters as well. Then there is my daughter. She's 10 and still to this day I fantasize about leaving her with my mother and just leave, go anywhere it doesn't matter. This issue is becoming more and more difficult to deal with. The urge to drop everything and everybody is overwhelming. Is it normal to have such fear of commitment?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 36 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Rufus
    12 years ago

    The key to avoiding commitment is to do so consistently from the beginning. I feel fortunate to have learned this early in life.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Sit down and evaluate why you hate commitments. Try not to hurt others and waste their time. Do what you want. Be a kind human being but don't waste people's time.

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  • littlelulu1999
    12 years ago

    Your feelings are completely normal, but you might benefit from counseling to work through some of these issues, help you come up with new activities to keep you stimulated, and develop new perspectives to view and deal with situations that you might dread.

    Your daughter is extremely lucky to have you as her mother and that you've shown committment to her by raising her for 10 years....she needs you and you should find strength in that....remember that.

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  • Chibi_Ranger
    12 years ago

    It's normal. It could be a trait inheritance. For me, I just had an irresponsible father. Moving on, to state simply: you're a neophile.

    You like excitement, see new things, be (pleasantly) surprised, I'm assuming. So when things turn predictable, customary, mundane, you just want to bail out to another place, to start another story.

    You can try talking your darling girl out, for a weekend vacation. Coastline sound good to you? Or Disneyland if you can afford it. I don't know, whatever suits your fancy. Or drop her off at your mom's for a few days (PLEASE don't abandon her permanently) and take a break for yourself. Travel to another country, etc. Find some way to amuse your craving for adventures. You fear commitment mostly because it gets 'boring' and 'tedious'. Now that you more or less know the problem, hope you'll find your solution!

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  • carterjm4
    12 years ago

    I have the same problem. You really have to be careful to find things and those moments you enjoy with others.

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  • darkwarning
    12 years ago

    I wanted to say thank you for the good points, and great advice.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Do you think that's really what it is?

    I feel much the same regarding routine or anyone making plans for me - even booking a taxi for me is not allowed, and I've even informed the local taxi firms! I make my own arrangements!!

    I thought it was because I don't like being controlled by people, time or obligations. Children too are a massive responsibility - I can't even be bothered planning what my son's dinner is going to be :o(

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