Is it normal that i can't make myself believe in god though i want to?

It's great that you're trying to do those things, but keep in mind it isn't our actions that save us. Christianity is about a relationship with God.

Something that helped erase doubts in my mind is Ravi Zacharias's talk on YouTube called "Life's Toughest Questions." I would recommend anything by Ravi if you are struggling with doubt. Josh McDowell and Lee Strobel are also great Christian apologists (people who answer objections to Christianity).

Another person you might want to check out Andrew Farley's books and Youtube videos. He talks about how Christianity isn't about doing more and being more for God. It's about our desperate need for Him, and how He actually frees us from the Law. Yes, if we love Him we will obey Him, but the obedience must simply be a natural result of our love for Him to be genuine.

Don't shut out the Holy Spirit if He is working on you. And don't worry -if you genuinely want to know the Lord He will bring you to Himself in His own good time.

You know too much. I'm sorry, but without the brainwashing planted in your brain at a young age you'll always be too well educated to believe that stuff and the back of your mind, you'll always doubt it.

A gratitude list is helpful in recognising your blessings and God's grace in your life.

If I were you I'd be focussing on your rational self, which is what you've been brought up with, rather than wanting to believe in something for which there is no evidence whatsoever.

You can be a good person without believing in god

Hypnosis had the most affect on me. That, and deep praying for belief.

A family has a disturbing amount of influence on a child's future. Growing up in a religious household would indoctrinate them to be religiously inclined. Obviously, your case is the reverse and you're finding trouble removing yourself from the mindset given to you by your parent's own beliefs.

I'm personally and atheist that grew up in a Christian household. I don't really care what other people believe as long as they respect my beliefs.
You're entitled to believe in whatever you want, I say keep trying until you feel satisfied in one way or another.
(Side note, don't let other people determine what YOU believe.)

If you are willing, I can walk you through the intellectual, historical, and scientific proof for God. There will always be doubts, but you should definitely have the right to explore what you want to believe in. Check out this site: str.org I think it'll help you. Oh, and maybe look into Christian apologetics. :) cheers.

yes I can advise you from my heart to try to read "Bhaghavad Gita as it is" translated from sanskrit as it was by Srila Prabhupada (bless rip).

That could make sense for you.

Anyway Krsna is the only God that really made sense to me after 30 yrs of my life coming from Atheist family and trying to search a spiritual sense in all I could study.

You don't have to intellectually believe just be open in your heart. Don't expect to suddenly " feel" God. Even Mother Theresa was plagued by doubts her whole life.

I'm going to offer a slightly different view on this. I don't think that God doesn't want you to question God. I think that as a human, it's normal to think about all the possibilities that there could be. In fact, I think that God would rather that you think about God for a while and figure out what God means to you rather that you just trying to force yourself to believe someone else's interpretation of God without pondering it.

As far as what God really is? What really happened? What is the real story? Well to be honest, I don't think any of us could recite the exact events word for word. But does it really matter? It's your belief that matters. It's the meaning that it holds for you that matters. It's your personal connection to God that matters. Do you think that other people can tell you what God thinks? I think that only God can tell you what God thinks. And that is up to you to form your own connection with God, and you can choose to believe which ever story you wish, but whether the story is "real" isn't what matters. It's what you interpret out of the story and how you choose to live your life and connect with God based on that. (:

God isn't in the past. God isn't about who's right and who's wrong about what happened before. God is in the now. God is in front of you. And that's all that you have to see.

Don't give up on it.
For me, it's like this;
1. We and this world aren't accidents.
2. There must have been a Deity.
3. The Bible claims to be indirectly written by this Deity, and also describes our origins and gives us instructions.
So it was always a no brainer. A loving God, that sacrificed himself to buy us all tickets to a wondrously exciting and peaceful place? I'm taking one. They're free anyway.

I recommend quran-islam.org to my earth mates as I wish to see my species in paradise.

Think of all the blessings and good stuff he has given you like that toy you wanted for your 9th birthday or graduation from college or high school or something like that. The fact that your still living is proof. Your familiar influences is what stopping you from what you believe. Go on one of those I don't know what they are called OMG I'm so bad at advice. Anyways I think they are called self journeys away from everyone and everything and maybe you will find yourself and your truth.