Is it normal that i can't talk to my dad about religion?

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26 Comments

My dad is a Christian. He follows Shepard's Chapel and has belonged to this televised church since I was a child. He taught me a lot about the bible when I was younger and answered many of my questions and certain subjects regarding the bible are really enjoyable to talk about with him. The only problem is that he believes his way of thinking and interpreting the bible is the right way and the only way. Sometimes I want to have philosophical discussions about the bible with him but this is not possible because he's afraid to change his way of thinking. He takes the bible literally and doesn't eat scavengers or pork, doesn't believe in body piercings or tattoos and he is strongly against homosexuality and interracial relationships.

Everything that could possibly happen to him as a sign for him to change his way of thinking has happened. His other daughter does not date her own race, the white men in his workplace have slowly been replaced by black men, Indian men, Jewish men, and others and there are only a couple white men left. Also my best friend is lesbian. I even had a prophetic dream that referred me to a chapter in Acts, which proclaimed that animals with hooves are now ok to eat. He's been accused at work of being racist, but because the stories are fabricated and he didn't get in much trouble he believes God helped him out of that situation. He probably thinks all of these things are a test of his faith.

I think they are spiritual signs, but I can't talk to him about this. He thinks Buddha is against God. If I say something that contradicts his beliefs he just tries to convince me otherwise, that the only truth comes from the bible and he has miraculously interpreted it all correctly. I really want to help him and introduce him to a better way of thinking so that he can accept all people and not be captive to his own mind, but I know he won't listen to me as he never questions himself. I would basically get a lecture for believing the wrong way (I'm a grown woman, by the way). And if he did, for some reason listen to me and question himself, what would happen? Would he go crazy? I feel like these beliefs are all he has left in the world.

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Based on 19 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    I'm sorry but it sounds as if he already is crazy. Don't try to change him because more than likely you wont be able to. My mother turned into a born again Christian after watching a video on YouTube of all things last year. I've tried reasoning with her but nothing has worked. The stuff she spouts, I think, would make most people think that she's going through psychosis. I think the only reason she's doing this is because she's terrified of the unknown and dying and ending up in hell. What I especially do not like the hypocrisy of these extreme Christians. She talks about be good person, but yet she shoves her religion down people's throats and so on. For a philosophical view, it sounds like you'll have to find that elsewhere. For the sake and you and your gay friends, it is best if you don't tell him about them. When he goes on a tangent, that is if you don't want to get into an argument with him, just play things safe, nod a little, be vague, etc.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thanks. That's basically what I do is vaguely agree with him and let him assume that he has convinced me, or at least that I will be contemplating his notions. And sometimes I do. He's never said anything out of the way to my friend, just little comments like calling her Mrs. MyLastName and asking why she was going to prom with a girl a few years ago. Just nervous weird. But during our discussions he has tried to convince me that I should try to convince her to not be gay...bleh.

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      • RomeoDeMontague
        10 years ago

        You know this really makes no sense. Why are they against jews and black people? I never been to a church that preached that. Generally Christians are not against the jews. In fact currently the jews are being supported by most of them. That sounds like the KKK. I would say find another church if you want to stay christian. That or just wait till you can leave and figure out what you want to believe on your own. If you are not living with your parents I would say leave your dad and your church.

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        • Avant-Garde
          10 years ago

          I agree. Since forever, it seems that the Jews have been persecuted especially, by Christians. There used to be a time where Jewish children and other non-Christian children were actually kidnapped from their families by the church where they were forced to be baptized and forced to become Christians. I think most never got to see their families again. But, if I'm remember correctly, there was a case where a boy was taken away but he got to go to living with his family for some reason. What I especially don't understand is why some Christians are against Jews when in fact their beloved Jesus was originally a Jew. I remember bringing this point up way back when I was still a Christian to the female Priest at our church and I remember her being flustered... I have relatives that come from the extreme Southern Christian vein and they are clearly Anti-Semetic. However, if you try to point this out to them they freak out and accuse of things while swearing out that they don't have an issue with Jews. (Actions speak louder than words.)

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          • RomeoDeMontague
            10 years ago

            They currently are not. In fact most of the Christians are backing them up. Especially considering the war going on right now. Which I think probobly has a lot to do with the fact US has many Christians and is fighting the same people.

            They have created the Jewish/christian alliance. Also every christian/Cathloc I have seen/met have not really had an issue with jews at all. They seem to get along well and I do not see why they wouldn't. I always figured they were on the same side. Also most people seem to agree even Christians that Jesus is a jew.

            Unless they are angry about the fact he was sacrificed by the Jews themselves. Apparently they said "Passion of Christ" created a lot of hate. Which I do not understand since any jew and any Christian already knows this story.

            So who the fuck is really going to get angry over stuff we all already know. Even some non Christian/jew people probobly know it. Though looking back in history Jews have caught shit from most cultures and people. A lot of time didn't really seem like it was deserved either.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    The older someone gets the more set in their ways they become.

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  • kelili
    10 years ago

    I think that your daddy is a happy man and that you should not try to change him. As much as you think that you are right in trying to 'open his eyes' he thinks that you're totally in the wrong. Nobody knows whose right, so you better let him live.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thanks, the only reason I would want him to see things differently is his views are getting him in trouble at work. I thought with everything that's happened to him that he might have changed his views a little so I brought up religion to him the other day, but he's still just as headstrong. He does keep his opinions to himself more, though, and doesn't really express them unless asked so I guess that is a good sign. He's taught me a lot so I don't think he's completely wrong; it's mostly his views on homosexuality and interracial relationships I disagree with, along with him thinking there is only one path for everyone to God.

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      • kelili
        10 years ago

        I don't agree with his views on homosexuality and interracial relationships too. I'm a potpourri of races and I don't see what's wrong with people like us.

        My father hates all Muslims. I have tried to make him understand that he's wrong but he is convinced that they are all terrorist. Now I just don't raise the subject because the more I try to convince him of the contrary the more he is convinced that he's right.

        Hope that he would not get in too much trouble at work.

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  • LovelyMay
    10 years ago

    Well I'm a Christian and I eat pork. Tasty!!

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  • Dad
    10 years ago

    Maybe place 'The God Delusion' book by Richard Dawkins on his table. With any luck he'll read it.

    Sorry it that sounds a little harsh to suggest, but you do realize that there are NOT 2 sides to this? There is no argument or debate or even confusion on the matter. Belief in a supernatural is just ridiculous, and VERY old fashioned. I'm sorry to hear that your own dad has fallen for this rubbish, please update him with known facts (just the facts should suffice, there's no guessing or 'theories' required)

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  • Isabella80s
    10 years ago

    Oh dear! Well, there's usually no getting through to a racist and a homophobe. Sorry to say that about your dad, but it's true. The whole situation must be really awkward for you, sorry.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      It is, especially when I was younger. Fortunately he doesn't bring these things up much anymore and when he does I can usually just nod and bite my tongue and he lets it go.

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  • MysticLane
    10 years ago

    you can't change those kind of people. They're just crazy and don't understand anything about life (sorry to insult your dad).
    I know people who are christian who aren't as religious as your dad is.. but are still incapable of their minds being opened up.
    Just make sure YOU keep an open mind to everything and don't become closed minded like that.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    Seems to me that your Dad isn't the only one with problems; "the white men in his workplace have slowly been replaced by black men, Indian men, Jewish men, and others and there are only a couple white men left."
    Kinda like the pot calling the kettle black, pal.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      What exactly do you mean? I think you've misunderstood.

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      • thegypsysailor
        10 years ago

        Since when is everybody but your interpretation of "white", non-white?
        What are most Jews; blacks, Asians or red men? Jewish is a religion, not a race for god's sake. East Indians are of the Caucasian race, also white. And all those "others" are what exactly?
        Either you misspoke or you are a very ignorant and prejudiced person. Kinda like the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?

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        • Isabella80s
          10 years ago

          Not really... the OP is just telling us the situation in the context of this post about her dad and his views. They're not implying that they have a problem with the multiracial workforce at this place. Just that their dad does/might.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Correction: The Christian white men in his workplace have been replaced by men of various races and religions.

          I was just trying to point out my dad's opposition to other races AND other religions. He's never talked bad about these guys because of their race/religion to me, but when I talk to him about other religions he tries to convince me they are wrong. I would think a multi-cultural work setting would make him more sensitive to the topic and accepting of other religions.

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          • thegypsysailor
            10 years ago

            Thank you.
            "The Christian white men in his workplace have been replaced by men of various races and religions." is a much better way of stating what you meant to say.

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  • iEatZombies_
    10 years ago

    I wouldn't push the issue. From the sounds of it, you're the only person who takes his views seriously, and he doesn't need to lose that. Now that doesn't mean you should change your own. You should continue being vague and sensitive to him. Just try to find a way to explain to him that God doesn't want him to lose his job.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thanks :) this is what i needed to hear.

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  • dybex
    10 years ago

    He's your father and has every right to say and think whatever crazy sh't he wants. If it helps, think of your dad as having a mental illness. That's what I do.

    BTW how do you know for certain that your way is right? Maybe you're both wrong. I never rule out the possibility that my perceptions are flawed.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I don't know for certain that I am right. In fact, many of my beliefs come from what my dad has taught me about the bible. I just think the fact that I question myself and reevaluate my views is a better way of thinking. His beliefs haven't changed a bit in the past 15 years or so. The preacher he follows is like an angry cult leader and so it seems he's done nothing but taught my dad to embrace his anger. And such anger that he expresses is stressful for the body.

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  • DangerousPotatoGuy
    10 years ago

    how did this pass he mods? I mean I posted something almost as personal but it didn't come through... oh well shit happens

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I don't think that is a reason for a post to not be approved. Most posts here reveal very personal things. Although sometimes they seem to be 'not approved' for no reason at all.

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