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I know someone who is about the same age as me and constantly calls people who are her age or younger "honey" or "sweetie." I find it very condescending when people who aren't significantly older or wiser than me do this. IIN?
Yeah, it can be used as a subtle way of ranking you below them, whether it's negatively intended or not.
I dislike that too. Funnily enough, especially when people use "pet" condescendingly.:P
ummmmm, since when is honey and/or sweetie a name only for younger people / people of lesser importance than you? Why can't it be a term of endearment meaning that you are a sweet, kind person? I have a super nice friendly friend, and when she refers to me in that kind of way, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy and special.
The only way I can see this being negative is if you did something that a person thinks you shouldn't and then they are like oooooooh Sweetie... But it would have the same exact connotation if they said oooooooh [Insert Real Name Here]
Certain people I know use it in a way that doesn't portray an air of underlying condescension, but I do understand what you're getting at and I think thisissomuchfun hit the nail on the head.
I hate those even if I say it. My friend says it just for fun and she doesn't even care. She wrote," Hi, sweetie!" on my sister's card to our 6-year-old cousin on her birthday.
It used to drive me crazy when waitresses or service people called me those names, but after I got a service job, I began to understand it a little better. Most of the time, I don't think people mean to be condescending when they use pet names. They're just trying to establish a rapport.
I like pet names. I also like when I meet someone that calls everyone honey or sweety. It just makes me like that person more. It makes it seem more personal. I thought pet name was when they refereed to you only as that name. My friend has a special name they only call me. Our parents gave me and my sibling pet names. When someone gives you a pet name it means you are important to them. So I do not understand why people find this type of thing offensive.
Doesn't really bother me, when people use those words with me I assume they're just being nice. Using terms of endearment in literally every sentence is kind of unnecessary though.
I would find it very condescending. Luckily for me where I live it isn't something men have to put up with. There are exceptions with people like dinnerladies who use those words indiscriminately towards anyone, and it annoys me a bit with them but not much.
Using terms like this can be either negative or positive. Hopefully she has good intentions, but I'm guessing there are people out there who use these "pet names" in a condescending way.
If people are being condescending, try to not worry about it too much. They are probably just trying to make themselves feel better because they have some sort of emotional/mental need.
I can't stand when people say those kinds of names to me. Unless they are A) elderly or B) my parents/Grand parents. I also really dislike pet names for significant others. Not sure why, it just really bothers me if my significant other calls me something like 'baby', 'babe', 'hun', 'dear, etc.
Is that what older men call younger men to remind them of their lesser status in your part of the world? Or do they just call you "son" like they do in North America?
I've been called all manner of things but none of the above.
Those are generic pet names for dogs in my part of the world.
Old men here use "Cobber" a lot when conversing with younger men.
Sorry, I was quite sleep deprived when I replied to your comment and I believe I only really saw the buster, baxter, and fido, but skimmed over the other names. Yeah, hahaha, those are dog names here too. Although, buster is a common name for a woman to call a man when he misbehaves.
Interesting, I've never heard the word cobber used before. Is it typically a term of endearment or is it normally used in a condescending manner?