Is it normal that i don’t care if my dad dies?
My father is a childish, narcissistic piece of work crafted by the devil himself. He constantly tells me that I’m a failure, makes snark comments about my appearance and yells at me for no good reason. I could literally be pouring myself a glass of orange juice and spill a little on the side, and he’ll scream about how he always has to clean up after me and then call me a pig. I’m afraid to do anything in his presence. Even if I just sit on the sofa he’ll complain about how I’m always lazy and how I’ll get nowhere in life. Little bastard can speak for himself, he watches TV all day and never takes care of the dog, does chores etc. He sometimes apologizes for upsetting me, but he always insists that I’m just an over reactive crybaby and I need to get over myself. My self esteem has never been lower. He’s also very racist and anti-LGBT, and airs his obnoxious views anytime he meets other family members. He went on an aggressively transphobic rant when my auntie was visiting, and it was beyond embarrassing. I can’t wait till he doesn’t have legal ownership of me anymore and I can move out for good. I wouldn’t feel sad if he died. His constant emotional abuse has made my life at home a living hell, and whenever I tell my mum how I feel she laughs it off and tells me she’s had to deal with his behavior for years. What the hell?? That doesn’t make it any less traumatic or humiliating. I feel as if nobody knows how much I hate my father. I might feel a bit sorry for him when he passes, but I won’t be seen at his funeral, even if it means his side of the family ostracise/disown me. I hate my father, I hate the fact that I look so similar to him, I hate him.