Is it normal that i don't get attached with friends?

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11 Comments

I'm a pretty apathetic guy. Most of the time I don't really feel like I'm living, just a robot in human skin. So this quality of me probably explains it, but on the off case that it doesn't...

Whenever for some reason I lose contact with a friend (moving away, or just growing apart), I immediately drop them out of my mind. It's not for some reason such as a defense mechanism for missing a friend. I think I just simply don't give a damn really. Even with best friends. It's like I never really got "attached" to them or something.

I've had a best friend from kindergarten till third grade, and the moment I moved away, I just didn't bother. And when he called to hang out, I really didn't feel like it. He lived too far away, or whatever excuse I could give myself.

Even in tenth grade when my parents passed away, I should have felt something, but I hate to admit that it was more like "oh, okay. Carrying on then".

Now I've got a best friend for 7 years now, and I can tell our friendship is drifting. Another friend of mine tells me my best friend's taking it pretty hard, but I don't think I really give a damn.

To think of it, I feel like I can drop all my friends without feeling a thing.

Problem is, I don't want to be like this. I want to build connections with people, but I feel so empty and void of emotions that I guess I can't feel "love" either (I'm talking about love for friends and family; not just "romantic" love).

Help?

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 131 votes (72 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • AmINormal101
    12 years ago

    Wow... Good thing is.. Your not alone.. :) I'm exactly like that... Even though my friends want to hang out and stuff, I just deny them and stay in the house and look at the mirror all day... Maybe we can be best friends.. :)

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  • Complex4
    13 years ago

    doesn't it feel lonely ?

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  • womanwhowenttomars
    14 years ago

    it's normal.. I'm like that too.. I've been hurt too many times that now I don't care.. Out of sight out of mind is my motto. Maybe you are also doing this because you don't want to get hurt.

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  • superaspie
    12 years ago

    I'm like that, but I don't care.

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  • bgreedy
    12 years ago

    Yeah I get you, all the friends I have had have been awesome people but once we drift apart I let them get on with their life and me get on with mine and just have the odd friendly exchange when we bump into eachother. If they want to keep contact with me then that's fine but I'm almost never the instigator unless they hold a very special place in my heart.

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  • CaptainHiTop
    12 years ago

    I feel you. I'm the same.

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  • redflowers
    13 years ago

    im like that now, i never used to get close to friends but once i met these twin girls and they wanted to be my friend so much and i wouldnt ever really try with them but they wanted me and after a while i became so close to them i couldn't live without talking to them then a few years later, they told me they hated me and and never spoke to me again, i tried to get them back but i couldnt make contact with them. they broke my heart and i hated my self for becoming attached and i hated how much it hurt that it was over and i never want to feel it again so i'm never getting attached again

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  • amberinboston
    14 years ago

    The fact that you're worrying about it shows that deep down you care. I think its a psychological mechanism that comes up to protect your emotions.

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  • amberathedisco
    14 years ago

    I am EXACTLY the same way. I don't get attached to anyone I talk to, romantically or friendships. I can't feel love either to be honest... and I want to. I know as much as you do, and would love for someone to help.. I know what you feel.

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  • normalcydude
    14 years ago

    If you feel a "void" regarding this, then maybe it's not that you can drop relationships easily, but that you somehow "avoid" relationships. Think about this: do you fear something when engaging with someone? Is there something that you fear they will know? I would suggest going slowly about your feelings on this, and try to find what is holding you back...
    Do bear in mind that for some folks, specially melancholics, it is hard to find intimacy with people... it takes more time and effort to connect...
    good luck !

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  • kikilove_x
    14 years ago

    i feel the same way.

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