Is it normal that i don't have any good friends?

75% Normal
6 Comments

I used to have a close group of friends up until a year and a half ago when after a huge argument I was left alone. I changed a lot in that time and became insecure and paranoid as I knew they were talking about me behind my back.

But even now after all this time I still don't have anyone close. I get along with people in college but not well enough to actually speak with the outside of that environment. The only time I go out is to see my boyfriend but it was only up until recently that I spent all of my free time alone.

I don't really know what to do because it feels unnatural to actively try to make good friends as it should happen naturally. Maybe I'm just too boring or no fun to be around but to be honest I'm just tired of being alone.

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 63 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    Its hard to be alone but your right you can't force people to be good friends. All I can say is to try to do the things that interest you with others that enjoy it and maybe a friendship can come out of that. Just make sure your hobby isn't watching TV unless you know people that want to come over or throw TV watching parties.

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  • Geneva
    8 years ago

    I believe true friends are scarce. Most people have friendly acquaintanceships with co-workers, members of a group they belong to (such as a choir), or people they see frequently (checkers at their market). These people will be nice, act interested in you, and express appropriate sentiments (Happy Birthday, Congratulations on your [event]) as long as they are not inconvenienced or asked to provide any actual help. They may call themselves your friends, especially if YOU have actually helped THEM through a difficult physical, financial or emotional period. But beware: while you may have been a true friend TO THEM, they are NOT TRUE FRIENDS TO YOU.

    Don't be surprised when they're unavailable in your time of need. Do not trust them with any information you wouldn't want published on FaceBook. Do not share your opinion of any mutual acquaintances. And be on your guard for a knife between your ribs if cutting you will advance them in any way (especially true for co-workers). Don't believe anything they say about your supervisor or manager, especially anything negative! Don't allow them to believe you agree with them, and be sure to let them know you neither listen to or repeat gossip!

    If the person you'd like to be friends with displays none of these behaviors, and you have shared values and interests, then you should invest time in getting to know him/her better. But do it slowly! A true friend is a rare gift, and the time you invest will either alert you that this isn't someone you'd want a a friend, or reward you with a friend whom you can love and trust.

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  • Babuli
    8 years ago

    I ought to be your friend !!

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  • Clone1990
    8 years ago

    yeah, most aren't much help.

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    I'll be your friend! ^-^

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  • Bake34
    8 years ago

    I don't think it's you. I think it's natural. People will come and go throughout your life. Most of the people I know went through something like this in the 10 years after high school. It starts slow, you loose this friend and then that one... Before you know it you're only saying "Merry Christmas" on Facebook and it only gets worse when you have a family of your own.

    I don't talk to anybody I went to high school with. I outgrew them. Like you there was a big fight and it made me realize the kind of juvenile people I was still hanging around, 3 years after graduation.

    I had the same problem making new friends too. You are so discouraged from the last debacle that you wonder if it's even worth it. I think it is. In the end I have two very close friends that I wouldn't trade for the world. And I went through a lot of people to find them. Lol. Don't give up. I know it's rough.

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