Is it normal that i don't like when my girlfriend drinks while i'm sober?

83% Normal
15 Comments

My girlfriend is way more of a drinker that me. She indulges herself in a few drinks every couple of weeks and she knows how to moderate. I would never ask her to stop drinking period or try to control her behavior when I'm not around, but I just have this... Problem. See, I'm not one to particularly enjoy alcohol and I don't typically have more than a bottle of wine I occasionally sip on in the cabinet. She likes to get drunk even when we're apart, then she doesn't tell me until we start talking over the phone or video chat. To me, it just kind of ruins the mood, because drunk people are significantly less fun to talk to when you're sober. She frequently forgets what we're talking about, changes subjects, and slurs her words, and it's not particularly enjoyable to talk to her if we're not both drunk. Is it normal/okay that I have a problem with her drinking when we talk?

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 18 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • CountessDouche
    4 years ago

    Just talk to her & tell her she's welcome to drink on her own, but you don't want to be around it. If she's not a problem drinker, then she shouldn't have an issue prioritizing your relationship over booze.

    I drink & my fiance doesn't (only a tiny bit every once in a while, like you). He used to be a bit of a problematic drinker, so he avoids it now. I have no problem not drinking around him & it's honestly better for me just to enjoy life sober. I'll drink on holidays & stuff & we will occasionally have like 1-2 beers together, but that's about it & giving it up has been no issue, since I value our relationship more.

    Just talk to her & see what she says. Don't make her feel judged, but just let her know that you don't enjoy being around her when she's drunk.

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  • Earwig1991
    4 years ago

    In the same boat man, my misses will drink so much she gets so out of it and just expects me there to get her home safely, which I always do because I love her but why does she have to get that sloshed every time!!! So I feel you brother, hope you find a solution 👊

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  • CDmale4fem
    4 years ago

    One of you had to be responsible while the other gets wasted. It's like being a bottom or top, you take turns trading off.

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  • SmokeEverything
    4 years ago

    You should start drinking by yourself too. Maybe its something you can bond over.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I don't enjoy drinking. Like, I REALLY don't. Some of the worst decisions of my life were made when I was drunk. I only enjoy getting truly intoxicated with her because I can focus all of my attention on her and not on doing stupid shit. I'll occasionally have a glass or two of wine or maybe a nice dark beer but nothing to the level she likes to do.

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    I don't enjoy sloppy drunks, but I do love my Captain and Coke.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Couple of drinks once every 2 or 3 weeks I cant see being a problem

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      The problem is that if we talk she doesn't tell me when she's drinking and it catches me off guard and is admittedly unpleasant. I just want her to be truthful so it doesn't ruin both of our moods for the whole night. I'd much rather her enjoy her buzz by herself unless I'm there drinking with her.

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    4 years ago

    Im the same way. I dont like when my wife drinks its a turnoff. Idk whty but i dont like when girls drink or do drugs especially if they act goofy.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Well I don't mind that she drinks period, in fact, I like drinking WITH her, I just wish she would either A. Tell me first, or B. Have the night to herself to enjoy it instead of having me be a downer.

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      • Ellenna
        4 years ago

        So have you told her that and if so, what was her response? Not when she's been drinking, when she's sober?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          4 years ago

          I've asked her to tell me if she plans on drinking before we talk otp but she always seems to forget. I always try to make it clear that I'm not shaming her for drinking or that I want her to stop, I just want her to enjoy her night and she wouldn't be able to do that if I was involved while I was sober. But she drinks without saying anything and agrees to call me anyway. I also have to mention that this isn't a chronic problem because she doesn't drink every night or even every week, but this is a problem every time it DOES happen.

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          • Ellenna
            4 years ago

            I have a longterm friend who's occasionally drunk when she calls me or I call her late at night. I can't stand hearing a very intelligent & articulate woman slur her words and talk rambling bullshit, which has often in the past led to belligerence.

            A few years ago I refused to talk to her any longer when she was drunk and she stopped doing it.

            If you don't want to listen to your gf being drunk, don't listen to it. The fact that she "always seem to forget" is interesting and could indicate she's not in control of her mind or any prior commitments when she's been drinking.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              4 years ago

              Well one thing I've noticed is that both of us tend to appeal to each other emotionally when we don't want the other person to do something, rather than expanding on the principle of why you shouldn't do it in the first place. I'm sure that she would remember if I put my foot down, and then told her about how it REALLY made me feel. It's likely she can't remember objective information when she drinks but I know I can get to her emotionally and make it stick. Thanks for the advice.

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