Is it normal that i don't understand "bullying" in american culture?

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So pretty much I only know bullying only from movies and series from the US, as well as a few friends that have spoken to me about it. I just find certain aspects of this tradition a little unsettling. Yet, I would like to know how much of it is normal.

First of all... how much of the bullying is actually real? I mean, when I was little there was some innocent teasing or pranks among classmates, but it would never be something extreme, like putting someone's head into a toilet or stealing money. That even sounds criminal to me to be honest. At the same time, there would always be someone there trying to stop a situation if it got too out of hand. It just seems to me that in America people actually look forward to see someone being bullied in the most cruel and humiliating way possible.

Second, the bullying and popularity issue. I notice 2 things in particular, that if you are popular you HAVE to be aggressive abusive with other people to keep your position; and if you are a bully you gain popularity points as well. While in my culture you kind of have to be a nice person to everyone to be liked by people. You can only get away with bullying as long as you are equally nice in other aspects.

The other thing that seems weird to me is the victim selection. It appears to me that being smart and having good grades is enough to be bullied. In my school at least, the best students were among the most popular kids. Pretty much, being a good student was actually a motivation for other people to befriend you. However, I must admit that "geeky" people were kind of victims of pranks most of the time.

And well, I was just wondering if someone could enlighten me more about this topic and maybe make some of my assumptions clear.

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55% Normal

Based on 42 votes (23 yes)

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Comments ( 40 )

disthing

9 years ago | pl

Bullying isn't 'an American tradition'.

It's a common occurrence throughout human society, from school all the way up to the old people's home. In fact, it's common in other species of animal too.

As others have said, don't use the stereotype on US TV as your main reference point. Whilst individual cultures undoubtedly shape the nature of bullying, only so much of that culture is accurately conveyed on screen.

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myownopinions

9 years ago

Bullying is different throughout America. I once saw a video that said boys are more prone to violent acts towards others while girls are more emotional/psychological in their bullying. Overall, though, I would say that bullying is usually no where near as violent as what you may see on TV (though there are always exceptions). It's mostly just social ostracizing from people who think you're different or annoying. It's not necessarily the "smart" people who get bullied, but the one's who seem like they won't stand up for themselves (or even if they did, they don't seem like they could win in a fight).

Okay, I don't think I'm doing a very good job of explaining it, but, basically, bullying comes in a wide variety of forms that TV rarely ever truly represent it correctly. (Then again, I don't believe I've ever been bullied, so my opinion is bias.) Either way, I can tell you that bullying is definitely "real" and that there are cases of people having things stolen from them (though I personally don't have any real experience of knowing anyone who received an actual swirly).

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LornaMae

9 years ago

First things first, what is your "culture"?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Irrelevant.
  
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  - davesumba
    
    9 years ago
    
    No, this poll is irrelevant. First things first, you are getting your facts from fictional television shows. Okay pal, not even going to bother reading that long irrelevant post of yours.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I think you have to learn the difference between stating an opinion, describing a feeling, exposing an impression and stating a fact. It is clearly implied here that these are all assumptions I have and that I just wanted to make clear, to hear more from people that actually live these experiences.
      
      And I didn't want to state my culture, because it doesn't matter at all for this question. But well, I am Asian and lived half of my life in Latin America if you really need to know.
      
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    - kelili
      
      9 years ago
      
      Are you hurt? It seems you have taken this post too personally. OP is not criticising Americans and America, he's just trying to understand.
      
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      - davesumba
        
        9 years ago
        
        Not really hurt. I just know that I didn't see a single instance of bullying in all of my years of school in the U.S., so I never understood the stuff portrayed in American television or movies either. But I see the same kind of bullying in movies from other "culture's" schools as well.
        
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        kelili
        
        9 years ago
        
        That's the kind of answer I really wanted to read. Like OP I ask myself a lot of questions about the US and the Americans. We don't live there and the only thing we get to know about you is what we see on tv and what we read on the net. Okay, Jersey Shore hasn't helped much :D That's why I wanted real answers to this post. It might seem silly for you who actually live there but we are outside and we don't know.
        
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  - Couman
    
    9 years ago
    
    Ah, Irrelevant. It makes sense now.
    
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    It is not irrelevant.
    
    Let me be more specific...
    ...what planet are you from?
    
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  - Crusades
    
    9 years ago
    
    You must be from Boston.
    
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    - anti-hero
      
      9 years ago
      
      Michigan.
      
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  - LornaMae
    
    9 years ago
    
    Whoa! -8??? I think you were being a bully and I just got defended by the rest of the school! hah, I feel so cool!
    
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    - disthing
      
      9 years ago
      
      You're the dorky, skinny kid who is heroic in the end!
      
      You're Michael Cera!
      
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kingofcarrotflowers

9 years ago

Okay I was going to stop reading and comment after the first sentence but that would make me a hypocrite when I say ( now having read your delusional essay)
You cannot have an opinion on something involving fact based on what you have seen in fiction

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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

You seem oddly naive. Perhaps very, very young or a bit simple.
Bullying is a fact of life for most life on this planet, it isn't reserved for the school yard. It is extremely common in nature, horses, dogs, cats, etc. and especially in primates. Pecking order and all that; perhaps you've heard of it. Alpha males, etc. What's to understand?

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- kelili
  
  9 years ago
  
  However OP is asking a question non-americans would like to know.
  
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EccentricWeird

9 years ago

WHAT'S WITH YOUR HAIRCUT. YOUR MOM GIVE IT TO YA?

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- [Old Memory]
  
  9 years ago
  
  Where'd you get that suit? The toilet store??
  
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  - anti-hero
    
    9 years ago
    
    Where did you get that toilet? The hardware store?! XD
    
    Sorry, I am new to the bully world. Was that good?
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      9 years ago
      
      It wasn't bullying, it was from a movie. Brick has the right idea.
      
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kelili

9 years ago

OP, excuse all those people. I understand what you want to know and what you are asking. As a non-american I sometimes ask myself some questions of the same kind. For instance I watch a lot of reality show (not the best way to learn about american culture) and the teenagers look so weird and sometimes I ask myself if this is real, if this happen on this planet? I have watch videos on youtube where you could see teenager being extremely violent and laughing about it. In my country, this never happens. Like you, the most intelligent are usually the most popular. If anyone could please reply to OP's question without being bitter.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  It is nice to see that at least someone understood my point. The main reason I asked this question is precisely because of lack of information, because I just wanted to know if anything of what I see from outside is actually real. I cannot go to the US to investigate for myself, the best I could do is to ask in this site.
  
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  - disthing
    
    9 years ago
    
    It's a fair question.
    
    I'm not American, so I'm similarly looking at US culture from an outside perspective.
    
    I've also noticed the portrayals of highschool in TV/Film, including bullying, and how there seem to be distinctly American stereotypes - The Jock, The Cheerleader, The Geek and so on. There are foreign equivalents, of course, but these seem to be quite specific characters in US pop culture repeated in a lot of fiction, from Spiderman to American Pie.
    
    I recognise, however, that these stereotypes aren't necessarily accurate reflections of real US highschools or real bullying. I've seen plenty of media that offers a different view of American highschool culture, and assume that those stereotypes and clichés don't convey a truthful picture.
    
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kristys_mail

7 years ago

The only major bullying I got was boys trying to trip me. I never got the toilet thing or any of that. It was hell but looking back, things were pretty tame. I am kind of a geek and I wear glasses. Go figure...

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Mr-Myrtos

9 years ago

Good post.
Not be self-critical is a huge mistake and not very clever.
To be able to look at things from the outside its not for everybody.
If USA people does not want people to look at them like we do better start complaining about the films, american newspaper sold all over the world, tv news, net news and so on popping out daily everywhere. In their press and all countries press.
Bullying for sure is not an american thing even if the word bullying is the word used in all countries to explain the phenomenon and first started to be used in the US.
Were I come from bullying is a crime. Enough to be kicked out of the school for one year as punishment before 14 years old and after that age children are obliged by court to get into an institution for as long as decided by court.
Yes I do find its a culture matter in the states not properly cared so far. It will go on.

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flawdagirl

9 years ago

bullying is a form of survival of the fittest.

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- littlewings324
  
  9 years ago
  
  Are you justifying it or are you explaining why it happens?
  
  Well, since we no longer need to be fit to survive, we no longer need to bully.
  I know there's poverty and stuff, and being a stupid unskilled slob will not get you anywhere, but submissive personality and weak build do not generally lead to death.
  
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Mersaphe

9 years ago

Bullying happens everywhere in every country. It's not an American thing. And it doesn't just happen to high school students it happens to adults too even in the workplace. Open your eyes

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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

Seriously OP, where are you from? I'm just curious.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Asian
  
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  - anti-hero
    
    9 years ago
    
    Asian isn't a place.
    
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    - kelili
      
      9 years ago
      
      Okay it's not a place but you can guess where he's from from this answer.
      
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      - anti-hero
        
        9 years ago
        
        Nope. Asia is big. Russia? India? The middle east? China? Japan? Vietnam? Korea? Cambodia? Thailand? ....
        
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        LornaMae
        
        9 years ago
        
        Yes, you have a great point.
        
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dickwashington

9 years ago

here in america we like to baby everyone most of the time it is just harmless teaseing and pranks but someone has to go and blow it out of proportion and have the bully locked away its not every time theres a teenage suicide we blame bullying we just want to blame some one for anything any one can be bullied and any one can be a bully all you have to do to get rid of a bully is stand upvfor your self and fight back and they will leave you alone i used get bullied until i punched him in the face nobody ever bothered me after that its also diffrent when it happens to you then how they show it on tv and that

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lfa00

9 years ago

Well done! I think you got what you wanted out of this.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i don't understand "bullying" in american culture?