Is it normal that i don't want to leave the house and see people?

54% Normal
2 Comments

I'm a 30 year old man and recently found myself not wanting to go out anywhere. All I do these days is go to work and then sit at home on my days off. I arrange to go out any meet people and get excited about it, including going on dates but when it gets to the day I think of an excuse to cancel and I'm losing people over it.

Up until about 18 months ago I was living with my ex partner who I was with for over 3 years, we used too go all over and do alsorts of things but after that broke down I ended up moving back to my parents to save money. Since then all I ever do is sit in the house and play video games or work. I do make plans with my friends as I said before but as the day gets closer I start thinking of excuses to cancel.

When I do cancel or people try to get me to leave the house when I don't want to I get very aggressive and end up shouting at friends. Example, today I was due to meet a girl just for an hour and I cancelled, when I cancelled she started saying well I could come to yours so you don't have to go out or can I call you on the phone and it caused me to get angry.

I'm not eating properly anymore and I seem to be drinking a lot more often, not in huge amounts but just 1 or 2 cans a day. I dont want any physical contact from anyone either.

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 26 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • sandee
    9 years ago

    Sure it is normal - it sounds like depression to me. Address one thing at a time.

    If you change your diet you may find that you feel better. When I used to eat like crap, I felt like crap. Since when did drinking make people feel good? Drinking is a downer! Of course you are going to feel worse after you drink. The "high" (drunk) you feel only lasts for a few seconds (may be hours if you are lucky) and then you are left with a hang over, sick and can't think the next day. That's why I don't drink on a regular basis. I do it once in a great while.

    Isolating yourself is not really good since we are social beings, but at least you have a job. If you feel you are not seeing enough of others, get out. If you feel your job is enough people contact (may be you work in sales?) then may be you don't need to go out. Moving back in with your parents after being on your own (Or living with someone else other than your parents) . .. that would make ANYONE depressed.

    Sounds like some anger in there as well. You didn't say what happened with your ex- partner. I'm confused as to why you'd LIVE WITH an "ex" partner. Did you live with this "ex" for three years? Or were you partners for three years - and then it all ended abruptly. If you moved back with your parents right after breaking up - that explains it. That is situational depression from the breakup. Having a adult serious relationship makes adults - well- feel like adults.

    Without having that adult relationship, it can make adults feel like lost teenagers. Can you imagine how it feels to an adult that is 40 years old and looking for a job and can't find out? Talk about feeling lost like a teenager - no money no car, no cash - at 40!

    Try to do little things - alone. Try to get off of the PS3 or XBOX of whatever you are doing with the video games. Go for a walk - alone --- just to get out of the house. Do it on your days off. That is probably making you feel more like a teenager an less like a grown man. If you know someone that has kids - play with them. Many parents play video games with their kids.

    I'm wondering if you work nights? If you are not getting enough sunlight you might be down. For me if I don't get out in the sun for at least 10-20 mins a day, I'm down. I wake up before the sunrise and I make sure I sit and wait for the sun rise come over the mountains at least once a week. It helps.

    Sounds like you need to find a friend. I'm thinking at this point - your partner you had WAS your best friend and now may be you are thinking "Where do I go now?" See if you can make new friends. . .you don't want to keep on pushing away the friends you do have. It is a very lonely life without friends and being angry will only push more people away from you.

    I'm sure if you make small adjustments you will do fine. Ask your friends to be understanding of your current situation. If they are real friends, they will understand.

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  • theseeker
    9 years ago

    Sure, if you don't mind being a loner. I don't really enjoy being around people all the time. Sometimes I do, but eventually I always end up pushing people away because I need my alone time. Then, when I feel lonely there's no one there, which kind of sucks. If that's the burden I have, then I guess I just have to live with it.

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