Is it normal that i fear men

well i dunno how to start .. i don't think i'm being shy or i'm lesbian no i like men .. i think the reason is my parents mum used to say "never talk to boys they r dangerous nd if u c a guy coming go the other way" and my dad used to hit me hard when i was young for stupid things i do ..now im 21 he doesn't hit me anymore cuz i'm taller :v.. also when i was 11 i wrote on a paper my classmate's name with a heart on its side(btw b4 i was normal i talk to my male classmates nd laugh nd play games..) so mum saw it nd she beat me nd said she ll show it to dad nd since that day i never said i like someone even if i do nd i always tell girls not to talk about boys cuz it's boring but what i really feel is the opposite so ppl now think i'm boyish nd i don't like girly things but i do .. anyway last week a guy stopped me in street nd asked to talk i tried to ignore but he kept talking so i couldn't that's too rude i talked back actually he was asking and i'm answering his Qs i didn't ask anything or say anything to show interest in cnv then he asked for my number i didn't wanna give nd i couldn't say no either and ugh i hate myself my voice was shaking and my hands too i looked like a total retard nd after that i didn't pick up on his calls until he gave up .. nd this hapened million times same thing happens every time a guy shows interest in me at this rate i'm not getting married at all :'( what should i do
( i hv friends from other countries in fb nd i m sooo comfortable with them i'm being myself when i talk to them i love them so much nd they love me back.. not sure if they do tho lel )