Is it normal, that i feared being loved?

I kind of know what you mean, I'm apprehensive about being loved, not as bad as in the past, in the past I've walked out of situations and dropped contact with people who were interested in me I'm nowhere near even close that bad now but a tiny part of me fears letting people get too close to me in case they don't like what they see once they get to truly know me, at the moment I'm not even sure what there is to see so if I'm unsure what will someone else think, but then without meaning to sound all pseudo philosophical I've come to the realisation that yes, you won't know what someone will think of you but if you shut yourself off like I've done you'll never get to know what anyone will think of you

I understand where you're coming from. I hardly ever say yes to anyone who likes me and i limit my interaction with boys because i don't want to fall in love. I'm also scared of the power of love and the effect it has on people, and the fact that it can break you at any time. I don't really think i fear being loved in general, I just don't think i'm ready for such a big commitment at the moment. Perhaps that is the case for you as well, in ten years time you may feel completely different about the concept of love, you never know what will happen :)