Is it normal that i feel the way i do?

I put this under "Health" because it also goes under multiple other categories.
I'm a 19 year old male in USA and I've never had a job, I've been underweight my entire life and eating has always been an issue since my anxiety induces nausea, and I also stress vomit. When I actually talk to women I just feel an intense feeling of nausea and I'll go days without eating(or barely eating), I've tried getting a job and failed. I worked at Wal-Mart and Kroger(Both were big-name grocery stores) and ended up quitting within the first 20 hours of working (20 hours over the course of days, of course), and I'm running out of options. I've recently been kicked out of my friends' place and I'm back at my moms entirely without internet, but I'm currently at my Father's place(which I cannot live here), and I can't even go through my mother's door at this point without wanting to die. I walk in and everything in me is drained and I just want to die, I lose any motivation I had, I lose all hope, I don't want to do anything. I am addicted to the internet, but even when I was with my mother and had internet, it was still extremely depressing there. It was just bearable with internet. I do have friends, and one I see a lot. But I cannot stand being at my mother's place for more than an hour or two or I just go insane. I really wish I could keep a job and move in with my friend like we plan, but I'm terrified of trying to find a place to work again. I am seeing a doctor about medication for my anxiety/depression, but she's not very understanding and without insurance I don't have many other choices beside the low income clinic I visit. I'm absolutely beat here, I'm lost, and I just want to die. This isn't me saying I don't have ambitions. I have a lot, I want to make it very far in life, but I just... I end up like this. My apologies for the wall of text! Very much thanks to any help provided. I am extremely grateful.