Is it normal that i feel very uncomfortable about looking good?

I know this is probably a troll post but I know the feel. Those guys are called Beta orbiters, its honestly disgusting how people go by physical attraction before emotional attraction and try to get with you just because they noticed that youre "hot", "cute", etc. without knowing shit about you.

also it's funny how people online always get triggered about someone knowing they are attractive, lets see all the "LOL UR PROBABLY UGLY" type posts that roll in on this. only insecure people say crap like that.

Its not conceited it its the truth. I personally do not care about looks at all but I know i am attractive only based on the fact that people are always telling me. Now cue the insecure haters "WHO, TELLS YOU THAT, YOUR MUM?!" lol

And THAT is the reason I shaved all my hair off. I get treated so much more seriously, and not just like a pretty, dumb girl.

Honestly, I do not think this is a troll. I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY how you feel. It usually stems from everyone being jealous of you and you are really tired of having to "give yourself up" just to make other people happy. You are ALLOWED to be good-looking, and you shouldn't downgrade just because other people are assholes about it. Its just the way the world works, there are people who are generally beautiful in most people's eyes. If you are one of them, we can't just pretend that they don't exist. That doesn't mean that other's can't be happy with what they have too, but they usually try to take it from YOU and that makes you uncomfortable, I get that. Its actually really hard to "have something" (whether its beauty, smarts, or whatever) because people will try to take it from you. I really understand how that feels.

However, I found that I felt that way mostly because of a trauma I had in the past, where specific people would bully me (people who had no "stance" for themselves) and try to diminish me just so they felt better. I think that you need to GET AWAY from those people, its usually specific people who feel bad.

I have this issue, but I also have a friend who had the issue a lot worse (because she's hotter than me, by a LOT), but again, I personally never tried to bully her or remove her femininity because I felt like I was happy with myself. Maybe I'm not as pretty as her, but I had my own style and I was perfectly happy with it.

My point is that people who are mean to you are only doing it because they are NOT HAPPY with what they have. Even if someone is generally less attractive than you, they won't do that to you if they actually FEEL that they have their own stance.

I think my best advice is get away from those that hurt you (unless they are important to you -- then you have to teach them and communicate with them how you feel, etc.) and also ignore anyone else who is mean to you.

I can't bother to read all the discussion but having a high self esteem is important.
Good for you that you're so beautiful.

Do you have sea green eyes? Most goddesses I've got to know had green eyes, red hair and a lilywhite complexion.

fuck the haters.. you have no control over how they think and how they behave towards you but you have control over how it affects you..no fuckity fucks given to them.,
plus atleast your not being teased or ignored for being "ugly" or disfigured..that's way worse:(

Never liked how human attraction works; how society rewards beauty more than anything else.

To counter this, treat everyone equally by simply trusting no one, no matter the appearance.

Never let the haters bring you down to their level, ever!
I was in the same situation as you in some point in life. Girls would give me jealous stares and older guys would give me a weird uncomfortable feeling because I was pretty. I was popular then next I wasnt because I forced myself to look tomboy as I hated the attention I got so much but then after that I had no attention except horrible attention because people thought I looked like a boy in boy-ish clothes and people would call me gay (which I wasn't) But then later in life I got back to being me again and now I feel like a princess. I dont bother with people who think negative about me, Im confident asfk and dress the way I want because they are nothing but people who deserve to be out of the way.
So yeah push those types of people that make you feel that way out the way and just be confident because they want you who is way better than them to be a loser just like them.

I'm just curious, do you have to wear a paper bag over your head during sex, that is if you even get any? :)

In your situation, I think it's normal to feel that way. The only advice I can give is to ignore them. Like you said, they're losers.

💓thank you

Did u get mine? Human0tv at g

I should explain I am traveling so I have bad connection and these sites take a long time to load. It is easiest for me to just use e male, insta, or twitter

I can do this, but I only have mobile. It would be easiest for me for you to make a e male account and do it this way

Its very frustrating for me. I would still like to help you but not with this site imgur

No, I never get this from them. On FAQ says need to have interactions with community maybe to unlock

I couldnt see it, so I try to download and use the app, but it says I haven't unlocked messaging yet

I know how, yeah

Hopefully this time worked :)

G male is human0tv

This is what i wrote. Have to think about things you said here, but one person at a time. Happy to try help you out now.

Hii, I'm so sorry I never even saw this post. Of course I could do my best to listen and help.

And I understand I would tell you what I can. I know even this girl I was with in the past I think feels similar.

Of course all up to your comfort

I also delete them after if you choose. You have to remember I'm not like most men, I want only listen to women 😂

I include e mail and forget these automatically get banned :(
Can you see this time?

Hi sorry I'm an idiot. I include my email in the old message and when I try to resend it and forgot these get auto-banned. Hopefully this one works

This is what i wrote. Have to think about things you said here, but one person at a time. Happy to try help you out now.

Hii, I'm so sorry I never even saw this post. Of course I could do my best to listen and help.

NEVER share anything like that here, this why I share my email human0tv at geemail

And I understand I would tell you what I can. I know even this girl I was with in the past I think feels similar.

Of course all up to your comfort

I also delete them after if you choose. You have to remember I'm not like most men, I want only listen to women 😂

Don't read if you don't want. I know you say don't answer but I want to figure out for myself.
Thank you also for these sweet things you say to me :)

I don't know if I find the "why" I never thought possible since its so different than regular sex, I mean its not even sex lol. But would be very cool to know. I agree with this I don't like the word fetish either. I prefer just say ball punching, or threatening.
It comes and goes. For a while I thought it was bad. And I meet a girl online like you who wants to talk about it with me, but she also liked this. And she pushed me to accept as OK and after this much better.
Sometimes I feel bad about myself and this in combination with female domination I think is unhealthy because I really feel invaluable and it is no longer the fantasy of a woman who doesn't care how men feel.
It also can be bad when I am seeing woman this way I get so turned on it is hard to be her friend. I wonder sometimes if I need open relationship with one wife and one mistress like this. I don't know if a girl I love can also be so cruel to me, and I can switch how I think about her back and forth.
Its hard also really just because it can feel like its not good for my body, and maybe my confidence. It isnt perfect.
For the positives though it is the best feeling in the world. A woman saying "I'm gonna punch you in the balls to me" like 100x better than sex 😂
So if I know I am seeing a girl who does this yes I can wake up and be excited to get threatened.

Sorry I did not think it could go this long. To be honest the high I get is so intense I can use this like a drug if I want to distract myself. Like if I don't have a job and don't want to be worried I think about women being dominant and am in fantasy all day.
So this can be a related problem.
But also it can be so positive if I am in a good place and still enjoying.

There is so much more to say I realize but I will for now stop here unless you have more questions. I fully trust you now and happy to give you complete understanding of your curiosity :)

You're so sweet 💓

And wish I hadn't made you tired and could answer those last questions about reason to wake up and what it is, but I understand its enough

It was very special for me to get to share all this, you ask such good questions and it felt great to really think about this more deeply. I really glad I could share this with someone, like my whole heart, someone I don't even know.

I've gotten made fun of before, and obvious many people think to enjoy ball punching is crazy.

This was such a sweet message you wrote. Wish I got right the first time.

💓💓💓💓 I know now 👍

I totally trust now. Promise I won't doubt again.

I'm so sorry I totally misunderstood and got so defensive :(

I agree even with the point you were making. Your English is really good but there I misread

And sorry I had been so vulnerable and was confused before :(
But I 100% get you we're good :)

OK, I understand. Sorry I understand from the last post but had wrote this before. But now I really understand and can help explain about these men too if you are curious about this

Men ask you to kick them?

I am done. You shouldn't ask people to share personal stories if you are not coming from an open mind and having respect for this. Its very rude.

You just asked more questions saying you want to understand it completely. I was sharing extensively as this is what you had asked for.

Was this meant for you to laugh at me?

I find it insulting you would ask me to go so deep in to this only to tell me how you would be offended if someone thought this about you and with these laughing emojis

Here is what I can explain to you. Of all the people with fetishes we all have different reasons. There is not one but many fetish communities and many who just explore on their own this is ok too.

A fetish isn't always but can be something deeply felt and can sometimes or sometimes not contain previous experiences or ideas.

There has been extensive research done both professionally and informally on fetishes for decades and they are widely accepted as psychological phenomena.

You ask me at once to reveal something so deep and personal about myself while also saying you don't even believe it, so I cannot continue.

:) lol these questions get bigger

I know you said this,

Sorry got lost in confusion

I mean like this
Good body = least rare
Beautiful face = middle rare
My personal favorite body = most rare

Have a good workout :)

Also when you phrase it this way I agree. To look at all face and all bodies the bodies will be more attractive. I just have more favorite faces than favorite bodies because the bodies I really like are so rare.

Oh I must have meant I agree with something else. I will check.
I think that my favorite bodies is more rare than a good face.
But that to have an in shape body in general is less rare than a good face.
If this makes sense.

It is inherently dangerous, luckily there is lots of research as this actually is a far more popular fetish than you or I used to think! But there is always still a risk with trauma to a sensitive area..

We have to separate ballbusting from being called ugly.

The ball hitting I feel I completely understand. It is the cruelness in a woman to inflict a pain she cannot feel in return. That is it. The brutalness of this makes me twitch. Why this makes me feel not angry at an injustice but sexually stimulated is not something I understand but I'm perfectly ok with that.

I absolutely love this fetish and it has been very fun in relationships and gives me such a dramatically higher and different arousal than sex or anything else, the two are not comparable.

So I would never want to live without this and have accepted as a part of myself.
Whether or not it needs to be me personally getting kicked is something I sometimes think about since this was not a part of the fetish for many years until one girl offered to punch me. So sometimes I think maybe one day I will marry a girl who punches and kicks other men but not me. Who knows.

This fetish about being called ugly is something I rarely think about or have done. So I don't have answers yet.

And no, no, no, no, no to would a woman find it arousing although a few do, and this is nice, will it make her find me more attractive, acceptance(although I dont know how these are acceptance but you don't have to explain again) , the her bothering to do it, or any of these abuse.
You are trying to think about me like a normal man 😂

It is the anger a person feels when they see a person not care about treating someone so unfairly and then get away with it, but instead of anger I get this very deep feeling and very turned on.

I felt like you completely understood after your first response but now I think not :(

I'm 25 :)

Thank you so much for breaking this into two messages!! Such a good idea :)

I know I was blunt with this thick thighs statement but this is bound to be a messy conversation so let me give my piece.

I want you to know also that if we agree to disagree this is OK.

But I think first the distinction should be made between behavior and the processing of sexual desire.

Objectification as the ACT of speaking rudely to a women, oggling her body parts all the things you described are awful and most men know this. Of course many of these men are quietly living their lives so it is the assholes we notice, you especially so as an unfortunate consequence of how beautiful women tend to be the targets of these men.

And I will just say this, if objectification extends to a man getting an erection and doing nothing more, then all men are guilty of this. Both sexes are guilty of thinking the other sex is like us while in my opinion this is one of the biggest differences between men and women. (Men are so preoccupied with penis size and are so confused seeing physically less attractive men with beautiful women) and women believe or some do that men fundamentally have the capacity to be immediately aroused by a woman as a person. And this is not true.

So you can see this as immoral, and maybe it is, but it is a fact of male physiology and what makes are cocks hard which is something we have no mental control over whatsoever.

So I choose to see this as OK. And not live with shame for what I cannot control.

What I can control is my behavior, just because my penis only cares about ass, my mind and heart obviously obviously see mountains more inside of a woman than this.
I've had female family members and friends I love throughout my life who's bodies are inconsequential to our relationship.

So the difference only is that in most cases what turns us men on stays pretty detached from female behavior, which you could even see as a positive in that this could be seen as being less judgemental if a woman isn't so intelligent or interesting and still be attracted while a woman wouldn't want a man like this though maybe this is a stretch hahah

OK much more seriously, the actions of these men are totally rude immature and awful, and not at all fair. I've worked in gay nightlife so to a smaller extent have experienced things like this and it is so uncomfortable.

To wrap this up I know I said earlier maybe it is immoral but in my heart I don't think so. Just as on the other hand I don't think it is moral that a women doesn't objectify so much, as this is simply how penises and vaginas work. A woman doesn't fight her sexual intuition to fantasize men in the way you describe that is what you think naturally. So I don't think it is fair to apply the same standard as far as our thoughts. Though of course a women's ways of viewing the opposite sex sets a much better standard for how we should actually treat people.

To answer your specific questions, none of these are right. I would need a specific example, but most men feel sexual urges from seeing a woman's body. And these urges are already at close to 100%, something a woman wouldn't typically feel until after she has been with a man for some time. It is actually quite distressing for a man to feel this way and know there is no socially/morally appropriate way to release this feeling.
Its a clear behavioral issue in men who go ahead and say this to women anyways, I would assume they are clueless as to how to properly approach women as most men are, and also are able to dissociate to some degree so they don't feel guilt and they don't fully recognize you as a person. Anyone with this capacity can do this to anyone though and he is not trying to make you personally feel or think anything.
If you mean a generally in shape body I agree, for the specific bodies I am most attracted to there are far fewer than the amount of most beautiful faces. But also faces are not nearly so sexually triggering to most men.
They are responding to your body like an object like if you saw a piece of clothing you liked but like x100. And are ignoring you and completely unconcerned with your reaction just that they hope you don't become too mad.

To be fully honest it is as I said before very difficult to feel these urges and not do anything and see women so attractive and pretend you aren't seeing anything special in their bodies. The degree to which men feel arousal throughout the day is much stronger than we give credit and that makes this situation messier. But it does not even marginally make this type of behavior OK, and is although challenging, completely possible for a man to keep his mouth shut about such topics and treat women like people.
I couldn't imagine dealing with this type of shit every day I don't know how you do it :(

Before you read all this I was not able to find a good answer to your central question. And also I believe love and the actual relationship between two people is totally different from these triggers.

OK, so this is maybe getting too technical and unrelated but generally men and women process sexual attraction differently where men tend to be far more visual. So a woman will maybe excuse not the best appearance if a man shows better behavior. And a man will excuse not the best behavior for better appearance. This is a stereotype and not always the case but I think is important in when you say "aroused by a woman who" this is actually rare for men in general. Typically a man would be attracted for example to thick thighs. He is not attracted to a woman who has thick thighs but it is the thighs he is attracted to.
I don't know if I explained this difference well. Also when a man is in love it becomes more about her, and will be attracted to herself like this.

So I am attracted to this cruel mentality, apathy towards male pain. And would go further from kicking when she is mad to even calling me over to kick me just for fun.

You actually have described this better than I ever have heard anyone else though so thanks. This is the purest truth, but in reality everything has become connected.

I have had a few girls punch and kick etc. And one girlfriend who did every day. Now seeing a girl make a fist is exciting, seeing her about to kick, seeing her walk off afterwards, and I admit the pain itself is reminiscent of this happening previous times and grounds all of these fantasies in reality to a degree and this is exciting. Even though this totally ruins it for even me to think about.

This question about Enjoying being spoken to in this way vs. Her being cruel I think is your main question and I don't totally understand but I will try to answer.
The phrase "I'm going to punch you in the balls" automatically turns me on like a light switch. That is really the fetish for me, and it is the cruelty of a girl meaning that intention.
Being told I am ugly is totally different actually. I think this is more rooted in low self image, and a girl affirming low self esteem or if she says I'm attractive this makes me feel good too. So it is partially being unconfident, and getting to talk about my body with an attractive girl.
The turn on then comes when I feel like she is really being honest and mean. I maybe don't totally understand this yet and really want to explore it. Because it transfers from this lighter just wanting to know what a girl thinks to something much darker and sexier to me. Where she can be totally honest and I feel exposes and humiliated. I'm sorry I realize I don't understand this nearly as much as the ball punching threats. They are close but different.

I totally agree with you and I should have clarified. I dont actually believe they are superior or that "all women have the right to punch any guy in the balls whenever they want" which is something I've said, these are just the fantasy ideas that float around in my head and turn me on. (And were formed when I was a little boy so should be immature 😂)
No this is wrong about taming the woman to be obsessed and then free me. It is not about genuinely giving a service either. I of course want to do this. But this is not where the interest lies.

Specifically about being "humiliated" I think this word is good but degraded is better. I enjoy to see (and this again is in fantasy, not actual belief) but see a woman as superior and OK there is something very dark and deep about her picking on me and bullying me. I'm going to find some girl who looks to help and will tell me she won't fuck me to help me better understand 😂

OK I will be taking some time again 😂

When I was a young child I would watch this show "the muppets" and there is this character miss piggy who would hit and kick male characters but never get hit back, and I always thought this was so unfair it made me mad but also I would get hard.
Then there were other cartoons where a female character hurt the men, and then some would show her upset about something big or small and would hit or kick them in the balls.
This made me so angry as it is so unfair that they couldn't even make her feel that pain back if they wanted. And how she could decide to put them in such pain and then go along with her day never even knowing what it is.
But this made me so hard, the cruelty of her behavior made me turned on, but only in this way.

Then as I got older I was always the worst at sports and was close with my parents and always wanted connection with them.

When I started looking at girls, they were always clothed and always not in a relationship with me. And I developed this idea that of course it is unlikely that the most beautiful woman in the world would want me, and began to feel like any woman not wanting me enhanced her status and her beauty.(this is the main reason I don't know if you want to keep reading)

At the same time I had built an identity in this concept that I was undesirable to girls. And instead I was close to my parents, even though I always told myself I wanted the opposite.

I was at one or two points laughed at by girls, which may have enforced this, but my excitement in this was there already.

When I turned 18 I discovered in a pretty short time period both that I enjoyed personally being the victim in those old ball punching scenarios, something I had never considered. And also that I was sexually desirable to these very attractive girls I thought I could never have.

So it was interesting to incorporate all of these at once, also learning if a girl likes you she probably will enjoy punching your balls 😂 if she knows that is special for you.

To be more specific about this, I don't enjoy the pain, so much as hearing a girl say "I'm going to punch you in the balls" makes me think she is OK with doing it/me having that pain and THIS is what is a turn on for me.

So today the two have gotten mixed, into this overall idea that sexual rejection, is a sign of a woman's attractiveness and superiority over men in general which also is a turn on.
And it also allows me to remain in this receiving role where I am ironically feeling more safe and secure, than the typical male dominant role which is always fun but I find quite boring compared to these much deeper parts of me.

Not at all, you just may want to do something and come back, I will be writing for a bit 😂

Do you want the long explanation?

:( yes, if its totally honest

I want to know specifically what you think since you're an attractive person and I rarely get to ask. But this is no excuse.
I should have shared it would excite me as well.
All humiliation aside it is shameful I didn't make this other reason clear :(

I realize you're right :(

Oh well thankyou :)

I guess I don't mean ugly, but not attractive enough you would ever feel excited by me.

I'm seeing so many gross men approach and be mean to you, I thought you might enjoy getting to tell one how if you met him he could never be with you/put him in his place :)

Is your butt big?

Curvey lol, aka fat.

You sound conceited in the way you describe your looks. That said, I agree that random strangers making sexual comments is super annoying and creepy. If you feel unsafe, just keep on walking and get away from them, but if the guys seem relatively harmless, try using a witty comeback to call them out.

"Put them in their place", how do you mean by this? You can be totally honesty :)

I have the same problem. I am as cute as the proverbial button. Adorable actually. It's frightening just how attractive I am. We'll just have to live with it I guess and let the others wallow in their homeliness.
Perhaps we should hook up? Think of the gorgeous kids we could have!

Run out into traffic if you're that ugly, a highway.