Is it normal that i have been to a mental hospital more than 10 times?

14% Normal
2 Comments

Its because of one girl. I confessed my love to her over facebook. She was my classmate for 3 years. And I fell in love with her at first sight. I dunno why but I think she felt that there was something between us too. During those 3 years we hang around with other groups of friends from school. And I have never told anyone that I like her. Thus 2 of my friends fucked her. And I did nothing about it. I was playing a cool guy and hiding my true emotions and just cracking jokes about everything. Our group was the cool kids so I had to keep my cool. After school I sent her a love message that I was putting together for quite some time. It was about how beautiful she was and that I love her all that time and that I was dumb all that time and that I just wanted to say that and that I hope she finds her soulmate or whatever. From that moment my personalities split and over the 5 years span till now I have been experiencing some sort of extreme psychosis. I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia. But I haven't told any of my doctors or my family about this girl. Because I feel so ashamed of what happened that I think no one should talk about this kind of stuff. I've cut my relationships with friends from that school. Couple of my other friends know about this girl but I haven't told them about that couple of my mates fucked her. This all weird thing completely fried my brains and masculinity and self worth, not the weed I told my parents and doctors that caused "my" illness. I have very deep anger inside of me but I can't hold it forever. I am still playing that think with my doctors like oh yes its an illness and I could live a normal life with the right medications and all that. If I won't find a way to put everything in its place I will probably snap and go on a rampage destroying every fucking timespace object I can see.

Voting Results
14% Normal
Based on 29 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    What's the point in lying to doctors? How can they help you if you're being dishonest with them?

    And stop blaming this girl for your mental state: it's your response to what happened that's the issue and while you can't change what happened you can change how you're still responding to it

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Not normal to be upset over this. I have diagnosed autism and schizophrenia and have never been institutionalized. One of my first times taking a girl out she was attacked and raped while I wasn't attentive. I haven't been comfortable taking girls anywhere sinse. You think a girl you like fucking your friends is that bad? My experiences have made most horror movies look like a joke. I could tell you several of them and I often feel homicidal towards anyone who hurts someone I care about.
    Having your friends fuck a girl you liked is nothing. It happens to everyone.
    Once everyone you love dies you will realize anything less is petty to dwell upon.
    I don't even consider my own problems to be signifant. When compared to people suffering all over the world, all my own problems are nothing. I have no right to complain about anything. There is always someone doing worse so be greatful of what you have.

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