Is it normal that i have no moral standards?
I am agnostic. Not an atheist, agnostic. To firmly believe that God absolutely does not exist is childish foolishness. I simply believe that if he does exists, he seems to have no interest in mankind or myself. If he has any expectations for us, I don't know what they are. There are so many religions in the world that it is too difficult, from my point of view, to adhere to one as the "true" religion, and it seems strange to me that God would work through seemingly man-made organizations in the first place.
Anyway...
With a supreme creator and statute-maker effectively absent, I don't adhere to any moral standards. If I want something, I will take it. Lying, cheating, infidelity, rudeness, greed, stealing, rape, murder...all good in my book. I don't care about other people's "rights". God never told me that other people had rights. Furthermore, I am the only real person in the world, everyone else is just my delusion.
Whenever an atheist tries to explain to me why one should adhere to some set of moral values in the absence of God, I just laugh. There is no reason, save blind emotionalism. The only emotions I feel are anger, fear, confusion, and lust. I feed them whenever they are hungry. You, the reader, would shudder with disgust if you knew of the terrible things I've done. I will not mention them, or this story will be rejected by the moderators. If I've ever felt "love", I don't know it. I could not identify the feeling. I am apparently incapable of feeling guilt or regret. I also cannot feel hatred. People who do things I hate are merely acting in accords with their nature, like animals, and like me. I do not hate people, I just deal with them.
I am a monster, and I don't care. We will all just die someday anyway. If God told me that I could live forever by adhering to some moral code, I would obey. I need an incentive for moral behavior. If I am just going to die someday, then nothing matters. Nothing.