Is it normal that i have these social problems at certain times?

Yup life sucks but I could really careless anymore. I'm 20 years old and have never really excelled at anything besides smoking weed and playing video games. I'm a high school drop-out, alcoholic, weed smoking,anti social coward that only has any courage when I'm piss drunk or blacked out. I ALWAYS end up getting beaten up because I'm a pushover when it comes to fighting even though I like to portray some sort of badass street dude when in reality its quite the opposite. I did have a job washing dishes and lost it in this last bout with depression which I will say was the worst in my life. And I ended up breaking most of the dishes when I started using them while playing Ultimate Frisbee.

I'm only now getting over it.... well I don't even know if I'm over it I just don't fucking care anymore. A month ago I was on the fucking verge of killing my self. I was sleeping just to sleep because in my dreams I was most happy and had most fun, got laid, was a hero ect. Stopped eating almost completely. Lost probably like 20 odd pounds. Stopped talking to EVERYONE I knew. Mostly because I confided in them about my fetish for ass fisting.

So here I am still alive and more determined then ever not to give fuck anymore. I still have the worst luck with life but hey its kind of easier once you just start to expect shit to go wrong. Like last Friday I acually manned up and when to the club by my self found a chick that was acually digging me only to get beaten to a bloody pulp leaving the club headed to my place. Got no action but did get a nice scar on my head. You know what I did? I laughed. Really rank. Probably was the most I've laughed all year. Blood pouring down my head and I'm just laughing like a fucking crazy person. Is it normal that the girl was the one who actually kicked my ass when I told her I wanted her to put my pet hamster in my rectum and take pictures?