Is it normal that i'm a young woman who hasn't had a bf in forever...

I'll be 22 this summer. The last time I had a boyfriend I was 20. It was a short & rough relationship, ended up badly, and left me all f*cked up. I had an abortion. The pregnancy messed up my perfect skin. I cut off all my hair. It was rough.

I don't blame him anymore because it wasn't necessarily his fault, nor do I feel distrustful/angry towards men. I see where I made mistakes with that particular ex; I made those same mistakes plenty of times before, except they didn't lead me to such an ugly place. I never really knew how to be "a woman", or have a boyfriend or be loved by a man so...yeah whatever.

I guess my problem now is that I'm afraid I'm getting old? I know it sounds ridiculousness, but when I was a teenager I didn't worry about getting older and having to find a serious mate. Being in a long-term relationship never seemed "real" to me, as if it wouldn't happen or I wouldn't want it.

I think 22 is a little old to not have ever been in a serious relationship. I don't even date? I have a job, go to the gym, have a few girlfriends (kind of lol) but I don't have male suitors. I think I'm afraid that my youth and beauty won't be around forever, and that I'm wasting time NOT dating.

I guess, is it normal that I feel this way or do I need to relax? I feel like I'm just all pent up inside.

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 80 votes (63 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Terence_the_viking

    2 years isn't like forever stupid child.

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  • grumbo

    Garbage piles up and stinks. Best not to have too much of it. Good things happen eventually.

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  • You you don't feel like dating, don't date.
    I don't date either because i think women are boring.

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  • CDmale4fem

    OLD ? YOU ARE STILL A SPRING CHICKEN, I just turned 56 a month ago, I have been married and dvcd twice, 2 paternity suits, I haven't been in a REAL relationship in probably 25-30 yrs. I am a cross dressing male that cannot find an accepting female that will even try and see if she can deal with a guy with as much lingerie as she has. So when you are feeling down, and old, read my response a few times here and you should be fine for maybe 6 months or so. But above all else, you need to like and love yourself before others will. AND REMEMBER THIS PLEASE- "SOMEONE CAN ONLY DO TO YOU WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO." Stand up for yourself, don't be afraid to be strong and assertive if you need to be.

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  • helloitsme

    I'm just a few years younger, but I feel like I was in a similar situation at one point.

    Right now I really don't want to be in a relationship, and "before" I was rather shy, but I realized. You have no idea how much a well placed smile can do. You don't even need to be very pretty, just act like you know you are, without being arrogant about it, and people will start looking at you every time you walk in a room. Own it!!

    But there isn't anything wrong with being single. Have fun if you want, but don't be in a relationship just to say you're in a relationship. Mess about for a bit if it makes you happy, but don't be with someone you don't really care about because it isn't fair on them, or on you. And make sure you don't pick someone who will just leave you feeling bad :)

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  • ygrowup

    Time to put this in your past and start fresh with a new you and a new outlook

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  • Anime7

    First thing that popped into my head was "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Ray.

    I think the sort of grief that you feel stems from reasoning that you'll die alone and in a (from your perspective) superficial world looks are what will keep you from avoiding this ultimate end. However, it sounds like you've been through a lot, and one thing that stuck out from your experience was that now you know that a long term relationship is possible. Even if it ended in a bad place, it still happened. Not all relationships are like that by the way. For a short while there was hope that perhaps you can find somebody to spend your life with. Keep holding on to that hope, because there are plenty of people who are in your age group that have sadly lost all of theirs. You sound like a respectable young woman who wants to live life and takes care of her body, that honestly sounds like the type of woman that any man would be happy to love. If there is any thing I've learned though from the sidelines it's that a relationship won't just fall on your lap, you have to go out there and make yourself noticed. Try striking up a conversation with some of the people in your gym. Perhaps one of your girlfriends could set you up on a date?

    I would like to point out though that a relationship is not the single most important thing in the world. Granted I've never been in a romantic one, but I have had (and still have) some great friendships with people. Those sort of moments, spending time with the people you love and trying to figure life out, those are beautiful moments that I will always treasure. Plus there is the future and you're young so I think that's something to consider, career wise I mean. I'm not trying to deter you from finding a committed relationship, I'm just saying that you're young and have the rest of your life to find your soulmate; have fun once in awhile, treasure the loved ones already in your life. You'll find someone, someday, and he'll still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful...to him you'll always be beautiful.

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    • Thanks <3

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      • Anime7

        I hope that what I said helped.

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