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I am suicidal, but i am afraid to die because i don't know what happens after that. Life sucks and i want to end it but i'm scared.
what would you call someone who is suicidal but afraid to die? is there a specific term for this?
You are suffering from clinical depression and yes it's very normal to have these feelings whilst in the throes of depression. Please take care and see your doctor/ physician asap. It sounds like you have a great deal of anxiety which is tough for anyone. I hope you feel better soon.
I understand completely at least for me I was suicidal but I wasn't scared of death I was scared of what would happen if I failed
Instinct tells you to live, however to preserve your brain your mind will try to invent ways to prevent suffering. Those are two aspects of what you would call "Self-preservation".
If your brain things that prolonged suffering can only be ended with death, that preservation will override the will to live. So instinct tells you "Not to die" while "Preserving sanity and well being" is a second drive which can easily conflict with that.
Understand?
We all have to die someday. It is normal to be afraid of death but there's a lot worse things to be afraid of than death. Why fear it? You don't know what's going to happen. So don't fear the unknown.
Remember before you were born? Right, That's what happens after you die.
So why don't you use your life to do something productive? It'd distracts from these negative thoughts, helps people that can experience happiness, and maybe you will see the good things too. Just my experience