Is it normal that i make extremely homoerotic comments to my friends.
I am straight. I know that without a questionable doubt. But it's been pointed out that I always make extremely homoerotic comments to my friends, regardless of their genders. I don't even realize I'm doing anymore; it's just something I've gotten so used to doing now.
I guess the best thing to do is to start at when I believe the habit started. It may seem long and irrelevant, but it is needed to understand.
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When I was 14, I entered the ninth grade, already with a few credits. I was a smart kid, but I was always isolated. It wasn't that I was biologically smarter, but I was ignored so much that I had nothing to do but study and learn. But that just made the isolation worse, and I was bullied for being different... No. Bullied is the wrong word. What I should say is that I was beaten for it. Hated for no other reason than the fact the didn't take the time to know me. Even my sister joined in with them. By the ninth grade, I felt broken.
I finally made some friends out of what the other students called "Gotho-freaks." They wore dark monochromatic clothing with spots of red somewhere in the ensemble,hair dyed odd colors, and listened to music that the others called "evil." But they were nice, happy. They knew who they were. They were artist, writers, musicians, actors. They weren't even violent like most thought, but spoke of peace. They took me in and make me feel ... almost happy.
But then my sister pushed me to far and I snapped. [I refuse to go into detail over that point, but long story short, I went to a hospital for depression, then moved in with my uncle's.]
After that took place, I started at my new school, still only 14. Once again, I was alone. But then I saw them. A group that looked kinda like my old friends. I figured they'd be the most likely to accept me, so I sat with them at lunch. After the first month, it was like I've been with them my whole life. I was becoming almost happy again.
In that group was this guy that loved screwing with people, mainly by highly sexual comments. It didn't even matter who you were, what gender, anything. The first day I met him and he started joking with me, I didn't know how to take it and it freaked me out, but then the others explained that he only jokeing and that he really didn't want to "take me into the school's basement and flog [my] ass."
I got used to it, even throwing back my own jokes of a similar nature. Soon, we became like a "creepy-assed duo of rapeness" and our jokes and banter would make the whole group crack up. Hell, I got to a point that I was better at it than him. I was the first person to ever make him kinda freaked out.
But then my mom pulled me out of my uncle's home and forced me to live with her and her abusive boyfriend. I still kept my habit of freaking people out with odd sexual comments, and even when I moved back in with my dad and sister a year later, I could still creep with the best of them.
My friends are used to my odd comments now, and most people at school don't even notice it anymore, but I wonder: Is it normal that I can make extremely homoerotic comments to my friends and still be straight? Is it normal for me to go off on a tangent about the taste of cum being affected by the types of foods that you eat, or ask the closest lesbian if she would like to have my penis because I'm obviously not using it and then turning to the closest guy and saying "Unless the fine sexy specimen would help. I'm sure he'd help me find something to do with it" and then bust out laughing and say that I couldn't say that with a straight face, so I said it with a gay one.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just so comfortable with my sexuality that I'm fine with making these kinds of comments.
So I ask you all: Is this normal?