Is it normal that i resent my religious upbringing?

This post is not an attack on judaism. I just want to know who else thinks this entire "raising our kid jewish" charade sounds like a sham:

My dad is Jewish. My mother's family are descended from Swedish immigrants excommunicated from the mormon church. About as non-jewish as it gets. My dad said he would only marry my mom if they would raise me jewish. There is a Jewish law of matrilineal descent that says judaism is passed down THROUGH THE MOTHER. Only the super liberal, reformist jews would consider me Jewish. I myself am an agnostic. As a kid, I hated Sunday school with a passion. My parents made me go through it anyway and be bat mitzvah because it would make my grandparents happy. Well, guess what- neither of my aunts were bat mitzvah. That's a new trend, too. Halfway through the ceremony my grandpa got a back ache and had to leave, all the while complaining it was going on too long. And, the driving force behind the whole thing, bless her heart, was my shiksa mother. She screamed at me for hours that my speech wasn't good enough- what is there to say about moses coming down from mount sinai and killing people for having a dance party? I got a pretty senseless portion. Finally I finished it, and it was over. I no longer have to endure snobby kids at Sunday school who don't like me because they wonder why I am even there if my mother looks like Cindy Crawford. Now, I do love her, but sometimes I feel like she just wanted to be accepted by my dad's family so much, and that was why she supported putting me through all that. The irony of it is, I never wanted any part of it anyway.

Is it normal to now feel a sort of hatred for Jewish tradition? I'm not anti-semetic, and I love my family, but I just couldn't bring myself to sit through another seder without losing it. It feels like a personal insult and a lie.

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89% Normal
Based on 53 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • BlueJeansWhiteShirt

    I was brought up Catholic. Went to Sunday school and church every Sunday. Had to go through all the sacramental programmes. It was boring as hell. I've never really believed in God so it was pretty frustrating. Sometimes I'd walk downstairs and our priest will be sat there because my family had invited him around. Pretty weird.
    So I am an atheist. BUT I don't despise being brought up in a religion. Personally, I don't think religion is worth holding bitterness and frustrations over. It's happened and it's in the past. There's nothing that can be done anymore so the best thing is to move on. Accept the way your childhood were move on and have a happy adult life. You can't deny it must have taught you some lessons if that's that you are an atheist, if you have any children in the future that you won't introduce them to religion etc. Think about the positives instead of holding on to anger.

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  • Mando

    Your mom out of love and respect for your dad and his family raised you in their faith. That is not uncommon at all with couples of mixed faith and no doubt wasn't meant to be hard on you. You are an adult (at least you are supposed to be on this site) and in any event have made up your own mind. Perhaps tell your parents that you no longer are interested and attending is just not for you. Be respectful. Try to put your frustration behind you. Your resentment is just feeling obliged to do something you don't want to do.

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  • myownopinions

    I would resent it, too, if I had to go through what you did.

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  • MeHTa

    I have grown up in a Russian Orthodox household but because my family has lived in so many countries with so many religions we have Muslim "eye of Allah" at home along with mezuzah and christian orthodox icons protecting the household, my mom lights the menorah. We are mostly aware of most holidays and celebrate everything sort of speak :) I don't think you should be hating on religion. Its just some people make it unbearable and others don't. I hope you guys do celebrate Christmas... And have a christmas tree at home. Oh, on a side not, I am not religious at all, I am mostly an atheist :)

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  • Seustewart

    Wait, back up! Your mom looks like Cindy Crawford?

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    • rlp25

      haha... yeah, actually.

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      • Seustewart

        Lol, couldn't resist that one. No disrespect intended. Cheers.

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  • NeuroNeptunian

    It's normal.

    I resent that fact that my parents were so closed-minded to the idea of my exploring religion or lack thereof. It was kind of a forbidden subject in my household.

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