Is it normal that i resent my religious upbringing?
This post is not an attack on judaism. I just want to know who else thinks this entire "raising our kid jewish" charade sounds like a sham:
My dad is Jewish. My mother's family are descended from Swedish immigrants excommunicated from the mormon church. About as non-jewish as it gets. My dad said he would only marry my mom if they would raise me jewish. There is a Jewish law of matrilineal descent that says judaism is passed down THROUGH THE MOTHER. Only the super liberal, reformist jews would consider me Jewish. I myself am an agnostic. As a kid, I hated Sunday school with a passion. My parents made me go through it anyway and be bat mitzvah because it would make my grandparents happy. Well, guess what- neither of my aunts were bat mitzvah. That's a new trend, too. Halfway through the ceremony my grandpa got a back ache and had to leave, all the while complaining it was going on too long. And, the driving force behind the whole thing, bless her heart, was my shiksa mother. She screamed at me for hours that my speech wasn't good enough- what is there to say about moses coming down from mount sinai and killing people for having a dance party? I got a pretty senseless portion. Finally I finished it, and it was over. I no longer have to endure snobby kids at Sunday school who don't like me because they wonder why I am even there if my mother looks like Cindy Crawford. Now, I do love her, but sometimes I feel like she just wanted to be accepted by my dad's family so much, and that was why she supported putting me through all that. The irony of it is, I never wanted any part of it anyway.
Is it normal to now feel a sort of hatred for Jewish tradition? I'm not anti-semetic, and I love my family, but I just couldn't bring myself to sit through another seder without losing it. It feels like a personal insult and a lie.