Is it normal that i speak/ think like gollum from the hobbit/ lotr?

Ever since I first read ''The Hobbit'' at the age of ten, I found myself enthralled by the character of Gollum whom I found I could relate to on so many levels. On account of my learning disability, I have been plagued by low self-esteem and accordingly avoided mixing with kids my own age. As this habit became entrenched, I begun to refer to myself as ''us'' or ''we'' and would sometimes reflexively address myself as '' precious''. This habit has carried over into adulthood and accelerated when I left home to go to college. Isolating myself from student life in general in order to ensure that I could maintain my grade average, the only person that I could converse with was myself. Slowly, I begun to conceptualize my psyche as consisting of two distinct personalities. The first is a weak, pathetic character who craves affirmation from others and can be regarded as a stereotypical ''nice guy''. The second on the other hand, seems to have murderous tendencies (reacts to provocation with extreme violence) as well as deeply rooted misanthropic tendencies. It tells my other half that no one likes us and that everyone sees us as worthless gutter-trash but that we can always get back at those who have hurt us in any way one day by raping or killing them. It also berates us for feeling weak and sentimental, telling us that if we are to be strong , the only intense emotions that we should allow ourselves to feel are anger and hate. So far, it seems to be having the right idea. When I inspire fear or loathing in people, it gratifies me on a very fundamental level. Thanks for taking the time to read this.