Is it normal that i struggle in making friends and my school life?

71% Normal
13 Comments

Okay, this might be a pretty long story but i hope you guys can help me out.

I'm 23 and at my 2nd semester of law school right now and my girlfriend just gave birth to a healthy young baby boy. Right now she is staying with my parents to keep her company while i'm away since my school is quite far from my home. I don't find it hard coping with having a new family since my parents are very supportive and they are taking care of my child in my place while i focus on my schooling. My problem is at school and the city where i stay. I am an introvert person but since my high school and college days, i never found it hard to make friends then.

But now here in my new school, all my classmates are undergrads of the same school and all of them know each other already so it was pretty awkward for me the first day i came in. Everyone had made social circle of friends already and i was literally the only one who did not know anybody. Of course there were a few who came and opened up to me but it was just a formality and nothing more. I made a few friends near the end of the semester but just within the confines of the classroom, after class, we would go our separate ways and i would end up going home to my empty room and study and surf alone. This was my life every single day. I am comfortable with how i live my day to day life here and occasionally go home to my family when i have time but i cannot deny the fact that i am alone and those who i can talk to during class stopped so i ended up alone again at school. I hate to admit it but right now, i stopped entering my classes because of fear of the instructors. I also feel that my instructors and classmates don't want me around and want me out of the class and even though it's just a feeling, it is a very real feeling for me. Sometimes when i ponder on how i ended up like this, i just stare blankly while lying down and cry due to the loneliness i feel apart from my family. I can't open up to my family how i feel since they see me as a responsible young adult and they acknowledge that i can handle myself alone but in reality, without them telling me what to do, i feel lost due to the fact that i have to endure months without any real social interactions with anybody. Gradually, my thoughts turn darker and darker, sometimes during class, a very weird feeling of awkwardness envelops me, a feeling that i do not belong here and thoughts of destroying the school, killing my professors and classmates come to my mind. These are just imaginations but i know i was not like this before, i feel that i am slowly losing my mind. I always feel anxious for no reason and the least i expect it, i will just feel very lonely. I talk to my girlfriend and family through the phone to cope up but as soon as I hang up, that feeling comes back and I feel restrained and just cry. Having someone to talk to occasionally is better than what i Have now so i entered this site. Hope you guys can help me out.

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 42 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    just smoke a bowl

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    • drtywiteboy
      12 years ago

      Agreed, the stoner clicks are always easy to get along with.

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  • Rufus
    12 years ago

    You can surf in your room? You have the ocean in your room?

    Just kidding.

    But I think it's unlikely that your peers and professors truly dislike you. I think most people simply don't know how to act around reserved people. I used to think everyone hated me, until I learned that their "what the fuck?" stare they would give me was actually a look of confusion in reaction to my unresponsiveness. I'm not going to tell you to open up. By 23, your personality has been quench hardened pretty well. At least mine was. If you want peace of mind, you simply have to change the way you think about things. Is having an active social life really important? I say it doesn't need to be.

    But if you do end up killing everyone, I would have to recommend a semi-automatic shotgun, and I'm going to go ahead and recommend a 20GA, as the lighter recoil will allow for faster follow-up shots. The standard loading is #3 buckshot, and should give adequate performance on college students at corridor distances. Don't use the plated stuff. Happy shooting.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    You remind me of a mature student we had at University when I was 18. He had a child and was about 24. Honestly, he just seemed so mature and studied so hard while the rest of us seemed like 'wasters' partying and socialising.

    We were actually in awe of his life experiences and were unsure if we bored him coz we seemed so immature. He knew exactly what he was there for and what his goal was.

    Honestly, I bet you intimidate the others and they're dying to ask how you cope with a family but they don't want to seem nosy. I guarantee that they lecturers do NOT wish you weren't there at all. If anything they maybe assume you know so much more than the others so don't have to explain stuff as much to you.

    If you are having seriously dark thoughts, you need to talk to a counsellor at law school or a doctor. It is only natural that you almost resent the time that you are away from your wife and son but if you've always been able to make friends then there is no difference now. It just means that you have to make the effort as the others don't realise you need them. They probably think you spend all your time studying or on the computer with your family.

    Good luck!

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    • [Old Memory]
      12 years ago

      I'd just like to say that reading your comments is always a pleasure.

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      • joybird
        12 years ago

        Thank you hauntinghour - however, I do tend to lash out at the children's stupid relationship questions and they might get an answer like 'Grow up!'

        Not too charitable of me at times :o(

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        • [Old Memory]
          12 years ago

          Children usually have stupid relationship questions because of how naive they are about love. I think a "grow up" answer is actually helpful, at least when it's explained thoroughly.

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  • andrestca
    12 years ago

    maybe you should stop think about having a social life and more about why you are at school, to get a good education and provide for your family, your parents may not always be there for you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    It sounded normal until you mentioned
    That you want to kill your classmates
    In your imagination. I suggest ask the
    People you do talk to during class
    Ask them if they would like to hang out
    After class.

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    • flutterhigh
      12 years ago

      Write poems about it
      like this fella is doing.

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  • Caryopteris
    10 years ago

    You are depressed because you feel isolated. School is tough, but something you need to get through. There is nothing wrong with you - people are just lazy about including outsiders when they already have friends. You need to get exercise outside. You could join a running group or maybe they have rowing or some other cool sport at your school. Just do the activity and focus on that instead of obsessing about your lack of friends. Tell yourself that you like yourself and getting outside and doing activity are all you need. You will just naturally talk to the other people involved, and you act like you are confident and happy, and people will be drawn to you. Social confidence is like that. Most people don't feel confident in themselves, so they have to fake it and learn skills to get better at it! To study personalities, read the book called "The Color Code." Author is Hartman.

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  • ccjigsaw
    12 years ago

    It's the situation. I'm in college as well, everyone in my classes made friends very quickly, and I didn't. I feel awekwared and alone to, but I reccommend facebook and contacting old friends, and get a phone and text some of those old buddies! You have friends, just not in your school. Pick yourself up man!

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    You sound smart, why wouldn't a teacher want you in his/her class? I think you give yourself too little credit. People wanted to hang out with you in high school, why wouldn't they now?

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