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For some reason I really wish to be so thin that I look anorexic. I hate my body and I want to lose weight, I don't like eating anymore. I understand it's a mental illness and I shouldn't want this, but for some reason I do. Does anyone else feel like this?
Self perception can be a weird thing indeed but eating disorders are still nothing to joke about and should be treated seriously.
It might seem like a good idea but in the long run it's not. At least you can understand and see that it is what it is for what it is as it'll make managing it that little bit easier!
It might sound a tad condenscending but finding some help and supports that help with you managing this that work for you in managing this dillemma can make it easier too! But as stupid and cliche as it sounds it's not something you want to give into because you'll malnourish yourself among other things.
If you dont like eating is there any particular foods you like the taste of? For example if your fond of a certain fruit or something try making/cooking stuff occasionally that revolves around it to make the idea of eating it perhaps a little more appealing because it has a food in it you like. Or even if your not hungry or dont want to maybe set yourself reminders to eat little snacks through the day; a little bit of maitnance eating to keep your body somewhat nourished is better than starving yourself after all.
You might want to still see a medical professional of some kind who is going to take you seriously instead of undermining you to get some useful recources (or...the internet. But there are probably a lot of not overly helpful things put out there probably so it might take a bit to sift the junk from the stuff legitimately useful). Or at least talk about it with somebody supportive who will be willing to help keep you on the right track in lieu of being an ass or give you little reminders that you don't need to give in to this eating disorder and your fine the way you are.
I used to hate my body as a kid for a wide variety of reasons but it never went as far as to develop into a disorder though (surprisingly. I only have or had to so much as touch a cookie or a craker (lets be real the same would happen if i has a steak or was holding a handfull of radishes or carrot sticks too soooo *shrugs*) to be accused of eating myself to death so i'm very VERY surprised it never happened: Unless a bordeline phobia of eating around others counts as a eating disorder) so my little snippets of advice are not really from somebody who had the same issue.
As a result...
I'm probably not the most useful person to get advice from on this topic but hopefully something i said was useful at least!
Please please PLEASE get professional help about this, initially probably from your doctor and take it from there. Anorexia eventually damages internal organs and can lead to death.
Oh god sorry for the terrible grammar I didn't read it before I posted it... sorry
Look it's all about perception. You might think you fat and yes that's a mental illness but to overcome it you need to know that people would not treat you differently if you were fat and if your afraid people will judge then you need a reality check because if your friend would care that your fat then they are not real friends. Also you are not even fat but if that's how you see yourself then you need to accept it. We all create an alternative reality for ourselves in our head that we can't escape. Nobody actually lives in reality for say. You create you vision of the world and other people, yourself, and the world around you. You can control you personal reality and if you can change your paradigm you won't need treatment. You just need to change your perception and you will perfectly fine. <3 <3