Is it normal that it's like i'm dead inside

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6 Comments

In my previous post, I said that I was bored with everything. That didn't change much.

Since I moved to another town, I don't have an internet connection anymore (right now I'm at my uncle's home, but I will be back at home tomorrow, so it might take a while for me to be here again), and I realized that I spent all my time searching random things on the net.

I don't like to play video games anymore, and I give up at the first obstacle (when I was a child I used to play on my brother's NES all the time, and if you played any NES game you know how difficult they were).

I can't bring myself to read books/manga or watch anime/movies (even though until some weeks ago I kept rewatching Neon Genesis Evangelion and End Of Evangelion again and again).

I've always hated sports (I would be sooo fat if I wasn't vegetarian and I didn't eat little portions).

I've never been into music nor I am now.

I hate TV.

I couldn't even find the will to go to school for the last two weeks, and since a long time I haven't got any motivation to study, because I can't find any subject I really like (I hate maths and science with a passion, since I can never get anything; this year we were supposed to start studying Latin and Greek literature and finally leave the grammar behind but nothing changed, except now instead of grammar books we use literature books; English, the only subject where I get the best grades in my class without studying, is boring and useless; Art history is so pretentious and filled with notions that I can't even bring myself to follow the lectures; the same goes with philosophy; Italian literature and history are decent enough but I never study them)

Now, all I do is walking around in the house, occasionally walking the dog, since I don't know anyone in this new town (but even in the old one I didn't have any friend, since I didn't like anyone I knew), and fap (but that got pretty boring quickly too lol).

I'm supposed to see a psychologist tomorrow, and I can't stress enough how much hatred I feel towards psychologists: since I was a child, they weren't able to help me in the slightest, and all they seem able to do is saying that something must have happened in my childhood that made me the way I'm now.

Sorry for the long post, I've been holding my frustration for a while and I let it all out.

Voting Results
44% Normal
Based on 55 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Koda
    10 years ago

    It's most definitely some kind of depression. You might not feel pain or misery, but depression can come in a lot of forms. Loss of interest in things that used to inspire and motivate you is a big sign of something chemically wrong in your brain. Your psychologist might prescribe an anti-depressant. I hope you can feel better soon.

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  • penguin1
    10 years ago

    It sounds like you're depressed. Go to a doctor and tell them everything you told us here. They'll probably prescribe something for you. (I take an anti-depressant called Lexapro. It works great for me.)

    After that, go back to school. I know it seems worthless right now, but it really will pay off to see it through. Try to make some new friends. It isn't the easiest thing to do, but make an effort. You'll feel better if you try at least.

    Also, if you're old enough, try to find a part time job. Use the money you earn to buy a new computer. On IIN there's always people that will talk to you and encourage you. I'll be a friend. I'm sure others will too.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    You do not go to high school to learn your subjects; you go to learn how to learn.
    Sounds to me like you are just a lazy shit who has no motivation or will power. Blaming your childhood for your present condition is just the easy way out.
    Get off your ass and do SOMETHING. I couldn't even imagine being like you.
    I quit high school quite a few times to sail to Hawaii, fish king crab in Alaska and generally be adventurous, but I always came back and finally got my degree.
    Since you are wasting your life and body, why don't you do the organ donor thing, go on the internet and find the best way to kill yourself so that your organs can be harvested undamaged and give several people who want a life the chance.
    Get a grip!

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  • beeswax
    10 years ago

    I think the subjects at school are boring to you because they are not dealing in a truthful way with what is actually happening in the world and you are too independent minded to want to waste your time in a dishonest situation. I do not believe you have a chemical imbalance - such ideas are lies in themselves. I think you are interested in the real truth about what is happening in the world today but you have not found a way to engage with it. I suggest you go onto you tube and watch some documentaries about 9/11, mind control, and stuff like that and try to begin to make your own mind up about things remember to always keep an open mind now and in the future.

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  • thisisfrustrating!!!
    10 years ago

    you could try doing something exciting and new,like paragliding,white water rafting, rock climbing, or roller coasters.Or you could try to make new friends that are in to things you find intresting.

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  • KRFTW
    10 years ago

    yea feel the same way. If it was up to me I would sit in my room and smoke pot and listen to heavy metal all day. Maybe try some drugs.

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