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My wife recently came home from a night out and told me she cheated. I am both disgusted and betrayed, but on the other hand thinking about it made me horny. Is that normal? I don't know if i should be upset or turned on.
Sounds like you might have a cuckold fetish. And yes, that's absolutely a real thing and is not all that uncommon. Do you think you'd be turned on if she had sex with another man while you watched, or while you were wacking off in the room next door? If so, her cheating may have been a blessing in disguise, alerting you to a new avenue for sexual exploration.
but is that good? i dont want to go down that path and find out i hate it and then resent my wife for going along with it.
but you guys have kind of already gone down that path, right? the only difference is that next time, maybe she'll let you know before hand.
I really can't say if it's a good thing because I don't know if you actually have this fetish, I'm sorry.... I think that the betrayal has the potential to be a problem, but it might be something you can overcome - that depends on how you handle your jealousy and if you see it as a physical betrayal or something bigger than that. It's definitely a good thing that she told you because that means that you can trust her to be honest with you - which is a huge thing in terms of trust, and arguably more important than the actual cheating.
If you do have a cuckold fetish and if you can work past the betrayal, then seriously it could turn out to be a great thing. Acting out your 'hardcore' fetishes with a partner that is willing/able to can be a really wonderful thing. I think this requires a lot of thought and discussion first though, otherwise you risk damaging your trust beyond repair.
I found an old Savage Love on the subject of cuckolding, if you want a bit more info and some different perspectives.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=115476
Did she cheat with a woman?
Idk this is your wife we're talking about, not a girl you just happen to have occasional sex with. She made a vow, and because of that vow, she has betrayed a promise to you and broken that trust. You should be upset, if you care about her that way. If you don't maybe you are one of those people that can handle an open relationship--like Will and Jada Pinkett Smith.
Its all about personal preference. But since you said you felt turned on AND betrayed, I'd say you should take this seriously and think past your hormones.
I used to fantasize about my boyfriend being with other girls, some of them he cheated on me with... and for some asinine reason this turned me on. And I am a girl. I was hurt and depressed because of his actions.
You should have gone down on her right then and have her describe all the sorted details no matter how insignificant what happened to her during her copulation with another man. But hey. That’s just my opinion
A lot of marriages have open relationships. Both parties like sex, so why shouldn't the wife get some extra? The idea of cheating is to do with screwing behind the others back in secret. If she's laid on her back and some guy is giving her one while you watch/make the tea, then it's not (can't be!!) cheating. It's horny adults being big enough to make sure the other gets what she/he wants. Sanctity of marriage? F**k that.
Yeah. Sexual release is a normal way to deal with stress, anxiety, or depression. When my fiancee confessed that he had seen his ex a few more times after we started dating, I was incredibly hurt and betrayed, yet I loved to fantasize about catching them...or simply watching. Normal.
Dude...you're such a bitch. Instead of divorcing her, or standing up for yourself, you feel turned on? YOU HAVE NO MANLINESS LEFT IN YOU!
YOU WIFE IS A WHORE AND SHE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU, AND SIMPLY TELLS YOU SHE GOT DUG OUT BY SOME OTHER GUY. .. .. . . and now you're turned on?
You deserve all of this; you're a piece of trash.
That's kind of cold...what makes him a bitch? Just because he's confused about his feelings in this situation...that's normal.
How do you know his wife is a whore? Seems to me the fact that she confessed says the just the opposite...a whore would get dug out and never mention it.
You gonna call the man trash for what reason? You sound judgemental and abusive and small dicked. I bet the woman in your life is riding strange dick while your dissin somebody else.
You're the same little bitch as you were when you were a teenager.
Look how retarded you are.....just because she "confessed" she's not a whore? You are THE BIGGEST MORON that's probably on this site. You have no manliness left in you either.
On top of everything, the guy agreed with ME. Not only do you fail miserably at analyzing a situation and making the correct judgment, but you also are ignorant enough to think that you are right.
Unbelievable...
no, see i feel the same way- but while being angry and pissed off, i got a hard on.
I though it was from the adrenaline and stuff, but after ahwile i figured out it was from thinking of my wife getting railed. I don't think we're going to adventure into the whole cuckold thing, but at least now I know.
That is about identical to my story. I felt guilty because I should have felt like immediately ending the relationship. Instead, I found myself fantasizing about it, wanting to hear about her old lovers, and eventually asking her to "be" with him, then immediately come home to "be" with me so I could orally clean her up. Understand that I'm not gay but that being where another had recently been before was a huge naughty turn on. I have much more to say, but I don't want to sound pornographic on this website.
well i don't think that what southwest said is somehow worse and more gross than what you said. at least he is honest and you know what, maybe your wife cheated because she thought you wouldn't care and feel turned on. women feel that kinda stuff. and maybe she wants you to feel bad about it, and that's why she told you. if i were you, i wouldn't give her my crap about how that turned you on because that will mess up your relationshio and you'll regret this. but, if you REALLY think that seeing your woman have sex with someone else is something you would wanna do, then you should probably be with someone who feels the same way too.
When my wife fuck another man, i love her more and want her more. I love seeing her get fucked and get orgasm by another cock. Every woman deserve another cock outside of marriage. As long as she tells me whats going on, I dont care who she fucks or dates with, it just turn me on more.
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lisha Naidoo
I always have fantasies of my boyfriends cheating on me when I'm in a relationship, even though it hurts that they cheat. I think it's a way of our minds defending themselves.
You had some mixed emotions, at first. You seem kind of confused as to where to go from here. Let's think about this thing.
You got married, which implies (rather strongly) that you both wanted an exclusive relationship - for life. Well guess what, she has taken that away from you, forever.
You both made a committment to each other to be faithful, probably in front of the most important people in your lives. Well her committment is shattered. Gone. Over. How can you possibly ever trust her again?
Unless you are a total doormat (which most here seem to think is the case), your resentment of her actions will haunt you long after the temporary turn-on is over.
Do you really think she loves you? Actions speak louder than words my friend.
If you don't have kids yet, get a wife that takes the vows seriously. Let her go, move on.
She should be sharing the experience with you. It should have been discussed before it happened.
Like others have said maybe you are a cuck that has not experienced it in person. If she is unwilling to stop or explain herself get rid of her.
If she will discuss it explain herself as to why she did this you have something to work with. If you caught her already she was not hiding it very well so maybe she wanted to be caught.
This could be because she wants out of the relationship or she is in charge and expects you to be her cuck.
Did she have you perform oral on her when she got home?
No, she didn't want me to do oral on her.
I think she was ashamed more than anything. I had let her go out with some friends and I stayed home. I don't have a problem with it(because I'm not a fan of lot of people, plus she usually stores up the sexual energy and releases it on me when she gets home). The next morning she woke me up early and told me right away. It wasn't like she was having an affair or trying to get some somewhere else.
In all honesty I think it was more rape than it was consensual. She was obliterated drunk and the guy was obviously just able to get her away from her friends for a few minutes.
When she told me I was obviously angry and sad and everything, but I had a huge erection from it too. The next day after a long talk she gave oral to me, but other than that we didn't really touch because I wanted to get rid of my hard to see if I would see the situation differently. I didn't.
I wouldn't say she is in charge of our relationship, but we both trust the decisions the other makes. I know she is a nymph and I'm ok with her wanting sex all the time, but after this, I don't think she will be going out without me.
Just because you like something a little different doesn't mean that it is not mormal. Watching your SO or spouse with anther man or woman can be a turn-on for all involved. As long as everyone plays within the agreed upon limits, go for it and enjoy.
i'll call you next time i drill your wife and let you watch me, by the way she cheats on you cause she thinks you're a bitch
You are stupid and seriously fucked up. What's the point of her being your wife if she fucks around. And clearly don't understand how one can be turned on by something like that. Anyway, the normal thing would be to show that you are disgusted otherwise she is going to do it again as soon as she knows that you may it. Fyi, I would end the relationship coz she is a whore who doesn't value your marriage. But from what you said, I think you are a pussy.