Is it normal that my bf of 4 years always ignores my birthday

Yowser. It's nice to be made a fuss of sometimes and a milestone birthday is a good excuse. The worst bit is that he said you'd have a really good birthday and his only contribution to that was to say happy birthday to you.

No it's not normal. Some people are raised to not place value on certain holidays/occasions and that might be the case with him.

But it's still important to you and he should celebrate with you.

You: Value the celebration of birthdays.
Him: Doesn't really care about birthdays.

Can you understand that not everyone cares about birthdays the way you do?

Can you understand that maybe your boyfriend doesn't understand how much your 30th birthday meant to you because it is not something that he would get jazzed about himself? That doesn't make him right, it just makes him as clueless as you are.

If celebrating your birthday is something that is very important to you and it's not for your boyfriend, then maybe you should thoroughly explain to him what exactly it is that you want from him. Or find some other guy that feels the same as you about birthdays.

If it hurts you then you shouldn't have to put up with it! Find someone that makes you happy, or try an talk to him about it. Hope all goes well for you, you deserve it. :)

Certain people were raise this way. They are not used to celebrating birthdays. I think you should talk to him about it :)

I would be madder than a cat on a hot tin roof if I had a bf who wished me a happy birthday but ignored it in every other way!

I would imagine it hurts more because he knew it was your birthday, even said happy birthday but didn't even celebrate it at all with you.

I suggest you talk to him candidly and honestly, tell him how you feel and how much you were hurt by his indifference. And if after telling him these things, he doesn't care, it's time to seriously think about if this is the guy you want to be with.

From my opinion AND my bf opinion we both argue and agree that your bf is not appreciating you. A little bit is partly your fault for 'accepting' him not doing anything. You saying to him,'it's fine' even though you are NOT fine with it, but you said it so because you didnt want to sound like a little child. Due to that, he has gotten 'comfortable' as I like to call it. You saying what you did indicated to him that don't really care. Regardless of that, he still should show you some appreciation and love, and especially if you have been together for 4 years. I know it's not easy for anyone, but you have to decide whether this guy is the right one for you??? I honestly think you should have a sit down and talk to him about it and tell him how you really feel. If he turns around nd becomes an arse about it and does not care,well, that's your answer right there.

Like I said its not easy, in the end its your future, and if he does not change than you will always be unhappy and always questioning this.x

The best of luck to you xx

You said it was 'fine' on the last time he didn't make it a big deal on your birthday.. Maybe you should talk to him again and say how you really feel.

If you talk to him about it and he doesn't change, find someone else who is a better match for you.

i thik hes a dick, no offence

Well, what was his upbringing like? perhaps birthdays are not important to him. I grew up very religious and didn't celebrate. ALthough, I don't practice anymore, I am still not used to celebrating holidays(including my own birthday). Its just another day for me. Not everyone values birthdays. I actually find it kind of narcissistic to get annoyed about this sort of thing. Birthdays are all about egotism.

Mmm.. just tell him nicely you changed your mind, don't have a go at him though, that be unfair, ask to go out, or whatevers :3 I'm not much of a birthday person either, i'll just go out for food with some friends and it's all cool.

sounds like he's not the sentimental type. don't force him to be. marketing and advertising would make us all think like you do. subtlety is his style. learn to appreciate that or eventually he'll find someone else who will.