Is it normal that my boyfriend thinks premarital sex is serious?

10 Comments

My boyfriend is a devout catholic, while I myself am agnostic. We had sex a week or so ago for the first time, and he’s worried that it will keep him from going to heaven (premarital). We had discussed getting engaged soon, so I thought it was fine, but now he refuses to touch me and is going to church every Wednesday and Sunday. Is it normal to be so serious about this?

*Edit: he wanted to have sex, and had consented to it. Please don’t think that I tried to rape him, or otherwise bait him into having intercourse with me. The wording of the post was poor.

Edit2: he broke up with me. Thanks for all your answers and help, it meant a lot. Good day to you all.

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Comments ( 10 )
  • CountessDouche
    4 years ago

    I mean...yeah, for him it is pretty fucking serious & you full on KNEW that you were getting into a relationship with a very devout, religious person. Idk why you are surprised??? You KNEW what he believed & you signed up for a relationship anyway. You need to respect his beliefs because you probably won't be able to change them...& I say this as a very, very non-religious person.

    The fact that you are questioning why it's such a big deal to him & the fact that you seem to be implying that it should be less of a big deal because he's a man...

    that speaks to a fundamental lack of respect & understanding towards his feelings & point of view. If you really disagree, that's ok...then you should date someone who's not religious, but don't act all mystified by his reaction & dismissive of his feelings, when you KNEW, from the beginning, that this was a very important part of his lifestyle.

    If you're talking about getting married, then you should know that part of a successful marriage involves trying to understand your partner's perspective & taking their feelings seriously, even if they are feelings you don't understand.

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    • McBean
      4 years ago

      IMHO, some deeply devout religious people have a sensual awakening after their first sexual experience. They revise their beliefs and include healthy sexual expression into obligations to their partners needs. At least, I've seen this happen a few times. Too bad it didn't work for this dysfunctional boyfriend.

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      • CountessDouche
        4 years ago

        Spoken as someone who's only watched catholic school girl porn.

        Religious people aren't incapable of enjoying sex. Many of them do, but there are those who conflate sex with guilt, and those who can only let go after marriage. Religious people come in all sorts of flavors, but it sounds like OP wasn't even listening to her bf's beliefs or taking them seriously.

        Your idea of jeebus nuts having a sexual awakening is just a big ol' porn trope that is oftentimes untrue...so maybe don't reply on sex threads till you touch a real vag.

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        • McBean
          4 years ago

          No, no, Ms. Douche. Spoken as someone who attended parochial school from third grade to twelfth grade. Notice that Catholicism did not get its claws on me before the critical age of 8 years. I am grateful for this because it led to my complete comfort with Agnosticism, and recognition of the sick minds that lesbian nuns have. Their only relief is sex with other nuns while restrained by chains at 4 am so that their superego can rationalize helplessness. It's pretty ugly.

          Your assumption about the lifelong sickness from indoctrination of Catholic children is something that almost all Protestants misunderstand. In reality, one third are untouched because they were born with Teflon souls. The next one third (my personal favorites) find excruciating delight in sexual naughtiness that most people could never understand. And the last one third, like the boyfriend, are scarred for life. These unfortunate people will never understand the healing power of ethical nihilism. Sad, but true.

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  • Clunk42
    4 years ago

    As a Catholic, premarital sex doesn't necesarily mean going to Hell. It's as simple as confessing to a priest and not doing it again.

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  • Wellyoudliketoknoweh
    4 years ago

    I don’t know which kind of evil god would not let a person get into heaven just because they had premarital sex....
    We have a free will and free choices, it doesn’t hurt anybody, so it isn’t a sin
    Aaaand watch mr. Atheist, the name sounds kinda stuck in his way but he is not. He is very open and tends to explain things very well

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  • CozmoWank
    4 years ago

    Oh whoa ye wretched harlot.
    Got any nude pics you'd like to share?

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  • CDmale4fem
    4 years ago

    Find and watch the movie "Dogma". Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Jay and Silent Bob. They are pretty much , well you can read about it or watch it.

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  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    Your fault for not communicating on this. I think premarital sex is fine and his beliefs against it are foolish.

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    • GaelicPotato
      4 years ago

      No.

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