Is it normal that my family provides almost everything for me at age 29?

25 Comments

I'm a 29 year old female who works a part time job but since that's not enough 2 pay 4 anything, my parents pay my rent& most of my other bills. The reason it's become an issue is b/c i get made fun of for it& ppl say I need 2 grow up. The reason it's been harder 4 me 2 grow up is b/c of my addiction problems& I have BPD. Plus I have a traumatic brain injury. I'm going 2 try 2 get another job when I'm ready but until then should I feel bad 4 living off my parents still? B/c I'm starting 2 cuz of my age& I usually take ppls comments 2 heart. Thanx 4 any feedback.

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Comments ( 25 )
  • SwickDinging
    3 years ago | pl

    Stop telling people.

    It is nobody else's business how you handle your financial affairs. Your friends and coworkers shouldn't have any clue how you pay your expenses.

    If someone asks you questions about your rent and bills, they are being rude and nosey. Tell them it's none of their business and that they should learn some manners.

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  • Somerandomguyiknow
    3 years ago

    People should be minding their own business and it's not worth taking their mean comments to heart. Everyone has their own struggles.

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  • JellyBeanBandit
    3 years ago

    Well if you have addiction problems, Bipolar Disorder, and a brain injury, then I'd say it's definitely ok. It's not like you're doing it because you're lazy. I'd say those people are being very harsh making fun of you for that.

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    • TruthTeller1992
      3 years ago

      Thank u. Ur very sweet 4 saying that.

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      • JellyBeanBandit
        3 years ago

        No problem :)

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    • hauntedbysandwiches
      3 years ago

      Exactly. I think having a severe illness is a valid reason for not being able to work full time. Many ill people both mentally and physically are unable to hold any job at all so props to the OP for having a part time job.

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  • nonpareil
    3 years ago

    Well, depending on the severity of the TBI I think it's normal. people are being a bit harsh, simply seeing that you're 29 years old and assuming life is as easy for you as it is for them. As long as you're respectful and grateful, and do what you can with your disabilities, then it's fine. You should at least work on your addiction and BPD though, if you aren't already.

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    • TruthTeller1992
      3 years ago

      Thank u very much. And I am working on it as much as I can. I try to go 2 meetings& bible study sometimes.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    3 years ago

    you could start growin up by typin yalls post out like an adult not a 14 year olds myspace page

    and yes i realize im not the best example to be sayin this but ive cultivated a phonetic writin style that is in demand by todays modern on the go is it normaler

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  • LloydAsher
    3 years ago

    Nope. I would feel dead inside if I still lived with my parents at 29. I wont because my parents want me to be an actual functional adult.

    Though you arent in the correct frame of mind so I guess I make exceptions in cases such as yours with addiction and mental problems. Still you should find a way to be at least somewhat independent.

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    • TruthTeller1992
      3 years ago

      I don't live w/ them. They just pay my rent at my apartment 20 min from their house.

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      • LloydAsher
        3 years ago

        Idk get a job and pay rent?

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        • TruthTeller1992
          3 years ago

          I have a part-time job. And I'm going 2 look 4 other jobs after I'm done moving.

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  • Somenormie
    3 years ago

    I have no input on this so yeah I'm out.

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  • idkyourmom27
    3 years ago

    move the f outta der and get a bettr job, I know teh nearest strip joint nearby me tat is hiring dawg :3

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    3 years ago

    At least you have some form of income so they shouldn't care. It's a struggle to work with severe mental illness, many who have BPD find it difficult so to even have a job at all you should be proud. Ignore all the ignorant comments they have no idea what they're talking about

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  • TruthTeller1992
    3 years ago

    BPD is bipolar. But what I have is borderline personality disorder. It's a little bit different.

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    • hauntedbysandwiches
      3 years ago

      Bpd is nothing like bipolar disorder...they're not even remotely similar.

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    • Grunewald
      3 years ago

      By the way, snap. I have borderline-like symptoms too (therapists in my country don't like to diagnose formally).

      If you can only do a part-time job, then that's what you can do. I don't know what your relationship with your parents is like, but taking on extra hours might be a good trade-off for living under their 'thumb', if that is causing you issues, and if you can just cope with the stress and exhaustion until you get yourself into a new lifestyle 'groove'.

      I don't think you should have to feel bad about needing financial support from parents while working part time with mental illness. I also think you might know that already, as you've built up quite a case in your original post. But I appreciate your need to be reassured that other people are not justified in their meanness towards you. They are not justified in it against you, any more than they would be justified in it against anyone else in your situation. They do not have the right to treat you worse, just because you are you.

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  • Grunewald
    3 years ago

    I bet you're faking that writing style. I bet you're not even a girl. If you're not my brother, I'll be darned.

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    • TruthTeller1992
      3 years ago

      Idk how somebody could fake their writing style lol. I've always been good at spelling& punctuation. And yes of course I'm a girl Idk y anyone would say something like that.

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      • Grunewald
        3 years ago

        On a site like this, which comes up on a Google search just from googling the words 'is it normal?', why *wouldn't* a person consider switching up their writing style and flip-flopping the genders in their story around, or even just dissimulating their own gender a bit so that it's less obvious, if they're going to give their age and a specific story?

        Your story is uncannily similar to my brother's, but for the genders involved and the writing style. I know my brother and the kinds of websites he gets into...

        If you're not him, I'm sorry if I've startled you. I genuinely do sometimes write my posts in different forms of English and mess with gender pronouns. It really can't be that rare a thing to do.

        If you are my brother, then you'd better believe that this is your 31-year-old Bible-bashing, English-teaching sister with the red-sequinned Doc Martens!

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    3 years ago

    Your parents are actually hurting you in life by paying your way at nearly 30. I have more mental problems than anyone you know and I pay for a whole family at 30 lol

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    • TruthTeller1992
      3 years ago

      I'm starting to realize that& my goal is to change it.

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  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    There's no need to tell people this first of all, they're gonna think you're a spoilt, lazy squatter.
    If you're in need of their support then it's great if they're so willing to help out. You have loving parents.
    However you should probably try your best to get a bit more indepedent. If you have a parttime job, help out with rent. I've helped out with rent even while being unemployed and it's not like you need much money yourself since you don't buy your own food and other necessities. Therapy can probably help with many things that can build your independence and maybe try living alone if you can afford to find a place, if it doesn't work your parents would probably let you move back.

    It's easy for parents to get overprotective and it makes you even more comfortable being less indepedent than you could probably be with the right strategies. I'm sure you would feel better and more confident in your own abilities if you tried to depend less on your parents.

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