Is it normal that my father started kissing my neck once i turned 13?
(Sorry if this somehow manages to break one of the 'forbidden topic' rules-- I really don't know if this is crossing a line!)
I know there's already a lot of things that really, really aren't normal about this family's dynamic. Tons of neglect(plain neglect and educational, emotional?) and abuse(verbal, emotional, physical) problems, it took me a long time to figure it out but the stuff I grew up with really isn't normal in crucial areas.
Isolation too, I guess. Not allowed to leave the house for years at a time, despite empty promises. I know this stuff isn't normal already, that's not what I'm confused about. It's been bugging me for a long time. I never was able to figure it out, but maybe outside opinions will help?
Before I turned 13 and things really started going down the drain and police + CPS started getting called, he wouldn't do this. A hug is about as far as it had ever gone since I was a small child. And then, it was only definitely normal things. I think. I don't think I'd call tickling a kid into laughter induced tears abnormal, but maybe I'm wrong. Sometimes I'll think back to hearing how I/my legs looked "SO good" in a skirt when I was 12 and think "that sounds weird, huh, its at least uncomfortable." but I don't know if it was actually weird to hear that from your dad. Maybe he was just trying to compliment me.
But, like, after I turned 13, after things started going down and I started making it clear I knew he shouldn't have been treating us like that, he started getting... Affectionate, I guess? Touching my back/the small of it, kissing my neck, though that's as far as it's ever gone. Went on while I was 13, stopped for a few years, started spurting up again once I turned 16 and didn't stop after that. I grew up hugging my parents in the morning before doing my own thing, but I didn't think he'd actually throw a tantrum that I forgot to do it when i was /16/ either.
It's uncomfortable, doing these things with a person I no longer trust, and it's uncomfortable being kissed like that or touched like that, but I couldn't just tell him as much. Especially not when even sincerely forgetting to hug him was going to be taken like that. My older sister's told me that it's just normal, that I'm taking his affections weirdly. It's not like she normally defends him.
I don't know. It's been bothering me for years. Was it normal? IS it normal?
(again, i'm super sorry if this isn't a good topic for this site.)