Is it normal that my female coworkers kept sexualizing me (m, was 17)?

So when I was 17, I had my first job; I didn't know what was normal or not in the workplace, so I just kept my head down and did my work to the best of my ability while remaining kind and cool-headed with coworkers. It was at a kind of "old-fashioned" candy store in my mid-sized city's downtown area. All of my coworkers were female; there was my middle-aged manager, two people in their mid-twenties, and another two who were slightly older than me.

So shortly after working there, I noticed that my coworkers felt very comfortable asking me or talking with me about certain...topics. Some of them would start to talk to me, completely unprompted, about things that always seemed to include graphic sexual content. I was asked by these same coworkers (and a few more) about once a month about if I was dating anyone or not, my reasons, etc.

The worst bit I can think of was when on a few occasions they made a few jokes about the size of my butt, though I didn't think much about it at the time. I've always kind of had a rather large one despite being a healthy body fat, and as such have kind of just been used to family and friends making jokes about it. They may have brushed a little too close to me for my liking while I was at a workstation they were passing once or twice too, but it was a bit of a cramped space. Some of them also kind of displayed some body language when I was sharing a shift with them that made me kind of uncomfortable (laying on tables, leaning very close to tell me something, etc) but it's also possible that was just how they normally acted. I know that I always felt uncomfortable around a lot of the coworkers who said or did these types of things, and wasn't very happy there.

I guess what I'm wondering is if this normal for a workplace, as well as if it was ever actual "sexual harassment?" Several years have passed and I left there quite a while back. I just don't feel comfortable saying as a guy that I was sexually harassed by adults as a minor by a bunch of adult women when no definitive physical harassment occurred? Also I'm not sure what red flags are in behavior etc, and don't want to downplay the harassment other people have faced by calling the bit of discomfort I've seen as "sexual harassment."

EDIT: To reiterate, I no longer work here. I was 17 and am now in my 20's living in a completely different city. Just wondering about a past experience.

Voting Results
21% Normal
Based on 24 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Somenormie

    As the normal judge I declare this not normal.

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  • JellyBeanBandit

    Well if 18 is the age of consent where you live then you were a minor at the time, so regardless of whether it was sexual harrassment or not it was certainly inappropriate. People end up on the sex offenders register for stuff like that.

    Even if you were above the age of consent, they should've known better that to talk to a teenager like that. Most of them aren't comfortable talking about that stuff to older people yet, and still feel very embarrassed talking about it. Some creeps get off on making younger people uncomfortable with sex talk though so it's possible the only reason they talked to you about it was for that.

    Even talking to your coworkers like that as adults is very dicey, you have to know them very well to do that. People get fired for stuff like that.

    So I don't think this was normal at all, they should've known better.

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    • I was a minor in my country, so it was the max level of weird. Especially with the late 20's coworkers. I think it was just seen as acceptable because...well..."I'm a guy, and guys can't be sexually harassed." Or something kind of twisted thinking along those lines.

      And while I can't say for sure if I was ever physically touched, I can say that the...statements made by coworkers were more than simply verbal.

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      • JellyBeanBandit

        Yeah that is serious then, any decent responsible adult would never even think of talking to a minor like that. Not only is it a crime, but it's a sexual crime, only sick perverts commit those kinds of crimes.

        I was thinking that could be the reason too, they wouldn't even view their behaviour as perverted because you're a guy and they're girls. They'd just view it as being mischievous or something. Still though, there's no excuse for that at their age, they should know better.

        Shit, I'm sorry to hear that. That must've been distressing.

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  • Grunewald

    This sounds really uncomfortable. As a woman I'd be uncomfortable with that.

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  • SwickDinging

    Yes, sadly it's normal for some people at work to sexually harass younger colleagues. It's fucking gross and I'm glad you don't work there anymore.

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  • Unknown_player

    I know you aimed to be cool and collected, but you should have set aside your politeness and given them clear boundary lines. Should they have chosen to ignore this, they would of definitely got in trouble for it. But despite you being non verbal about your thoughts and letting this behavior slip by, these were still acting really odd towards you. If you had known at the time and if it were happening to you now, I'd have said to do something about it. Because they should know better and what age is legal regardless of legal age and stuff they shouldn't have been acting out when you were trying to do your job

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  • Tommythecaty

    Well unless they were sticking candy up your butthole I’d say you’re reading much more into it than it actually was.

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  • Meowypowers

    Boys wish.

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  • SmokeEverything

    Why didn't you bang any of them?

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    • Generic_Userboi

      "Ah, you are a male, therefore you must want to put your penis into any hot female!"

      I'm sexually attracted to women, but I don't want to just have sex with everyone. It's this kind of 'all men just want sex' mentality that lets this kind of harassment slide. I deserve a workplace where people don't keep making sexual remarks at me just as much as anyone else does.

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      • SmokeEverything

        I didn't say that. I was simply pointing out that you missed out on a chance to have an orgy at your job, which is something that many people would want at that age. If you don't care that you missed this opportunity then its a non-issue.

        Its like winning a vacation to a place you don't want to go and not going there. You still missed out on the vacation even though you don't care.

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  • tringle

    No. report them to HR or a supervisor

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    • Generic_Userboi

      Don't worry; I quit years ago. I was 17 (currently in my 20's) when I worked there for a bit over 6 months. I quit due to how much I hated the job. Couldn't put my finger on why I loathed work so much, but it was this in retrospect.

      Unfortunately it was a small business with bad management; I had heard stories of completely unprofessional and immature behavior by several employees–––especially the CEO. Who was an equally off-her-rocker (if not more unpredictable and rude) woman in her 50-60's. I've met her, and I believe them all. There was no HR department to report to even, and anyone I would likely have had to actually legally charge them with harassment to get them to see it as such.

      So those months sucked, but now I'm far away from it all.

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