Is it normal that my friend is kinda flirty when she has a boyfirend

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So I had this friend for a while who told me she used to like me and I brushed it off because she told me she "used to" so I assumed she was just getting it off her chest. We stayed friends and later she started dating someone else who I've become friends with. Their relationship seemed fine, but she later came up to me and asked if I would date her. I said no, since she had a boyfriend then she asks me if she didn't have a boyfriend then would I date her and I just told her idk. She later started acting wierdly close to me, things that's friends usually don't do? like we would go to a hanuted house together and she paired up with me despite the fact that her boyfriend was there and she held my arm, told me I would be a great boyfriend and started complaining about how she doesn't think her boyfriend loves her, etc. We used to call from midnight to 3AM, talking about random shit like sex and relationships and during that she commented numerous times that she would have dated me if I asked her out earlier, and that she's having thought about cheating.

Obv, I thought all these were some form of signs, but she's still with her boyfriend, and she tells me time to time that she does love him. I'm confused, and idk if shes expecting me to make a move or something but I'm not going to start shit because I know the boyfriend and he doesn't deserve that. Thoughts? Am I reading into it all wrong?

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Based on 2 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    It's interesting how you say she's said very clearly that she'd date you, but you don't actually say that you find her really attractive in every way and you'd really like to be with her. Maybe it is just your noble principles holding you back from accepting what seems to be on offer, but I have to wonder if you're really all that keen on the girl.

    As far as her behaviour is concerned, it seems to me there are two possibilities:

    First, she might just be one of those immature people who are constantly seeking validation of their attractiveness and desirability, and all she really wants from you are ego-strokes.

    Or she might be one of those insecure people whose sense of value is linked to them always being in a relationship (often this is mainly because this is a signal to the rest of the world that they are grownup and attractive), she's decided she doesn't want to be with her current boyfriend for some reason and she's setting up something new so she can hop from him to you without being unattached in between.

    It's understandable that you find this confusing, and it's entirely possible that she's just as confused about what she really wants and why she wants it.

    RoseIsabella is right about how cheaters should be avoided. If she'd do it with her current boyfriend, she'd most likely do it if she was with you or anyone else. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you're so damn amazing that she wouldn't do it with you, because it really wouldn't be about you; it would be about her continuing her search for some fantasy, non-existent Mr Perfect.

    If you would actually like to be with the girl, then maybe what you should consider doing is making it very clear to her that you don't agree with cheating, and you could never respect someone who did that. If she truly wants to be with you, then she would know that could only happen after she's broken up with her current. If you're actually not much interested in her in that way, then you should make that clear too.

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    • Somenormie
      3 years ago

      Your sources say that they might be true. So I'll agree with this.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    She just sounds like she's looking to cheat on her boyfriend. Once a cheater, always a cheater is what I always say. I wouldn't trust her.

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    • SkullsNRoses
      3 years ago

      How you get her is how you’ll lose her.

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    3 years ago

    Bruh you can be her fuck buddy. Thats a very good setup.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    3 years ago

    She's probably looking to make you her side piece. Don't go for it.

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  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    It's not normal and if one of my opposite gender friends got a partner and flirted with me anyway I would distance myself from that friend and if that friend started saying shit like not being happy with their partner I would urge him to break up not cheat because that's the shittiest thing you can do. I wouldn't remain friends with someone who cheated personally and I would even consider telling my friends partner about it. She doesn't sound happy with her boyfriend sure but that gives her no right to act like a shitty person, just break up. And her flirting with you like this now, if she didn't before, just shows she's not serious otherwise she would've flirted with you while single.

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