Is it normal that my husband ignores me until he wants to have sex?

43% Normal
16 Comments

I have been married going on 8 years now. My husband and I are both recovering addicts, and there have been allot of changes in our relationship. Putting that aside, he never shows me any kind of attention, and barely talks to me, unless he wants sex. After we do, it's back to barely talking to me and showing me no affection at all. He would rather play the x box with our kids, then even notice that I am dressed up wearing make up trying to get his attention. I have told him several times that I need him to love on me just because he wants to, not because he wants to have sex. But it never works. I don't want all of his attention or for him to be clingy, just a little bit of affection like a kiss before leaving or cuddling during a movie. Just anything!! Is this normal, or am I just over reacting?

Voting Results
43% Normal
Based on 53 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago

    What you are feeling seems very normal in that situation.

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    Just curious. How often does he want to have sex?

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  • CoraCook
    9 years ago

    I found iin because mine wouldn't put out either. Fuck him!

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    • CoraCook
      9 years ago

      (as in, leave him and fuck someone else!)

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      • Tommythecat.
        9 years ago

        Lol cant you read, she gets sex that's not the problem.

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        • RoseIsabella
          9 years ago

          Meh, OP's spouse probably isn't any good in the sack.

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          • Tommythecat.
            9 years ago

            They both sound terrible.....

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            • RoseIsabella
              9 years ago

              Meow meows.
              *nods while inhaling catnip laced sushi*

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        • CoraCook
          9 years ago

          Guess I can't hehe

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  • Light-Yagami
    9 years ago

    No, you are definitely not over reacting and this situation is definitely not normal. It sounds like your husband is just with you for the sex and has lost interest in the actual relationship. I suggest that you either confront him about it or divorce him, because the relationship will only get worse and eventually fall apart if it goes on like this.

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  • mamashortcake
    9 years ago

    Well, yes he used to be affectionate. He went to prison for a while, but when he got out he was affectionate. We moved in our home about a year and a half ago and everything was great but we were always messed up. When we had dope, yes he always loved on me and stuff. If we were dope sick, not so much. But we have been clean now for a lil over six months. At first when we were getting clean for like the first month, he showed lots of affection. Like I was replacing his drugs. Then it got old to him and I was ignored again. He wants sex quiet a bit, but it's hard for me to do that when that's the only time he ever shows me attention at all. So it hasn't always been like this. Just in about the last year or so. I'm to the point that I don't even want to have sex at all cause I feel like that's all I'm being used for is sex... :(
    And I don't blame it on being addicts. Cause it's been going on for longer than that. When we were on dope and now that we aren't on dope. It's all the same. Nothing has really changed.

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    No offense but a lot of men are like this regardless of being addicts or not. Its not a good thing but a lot of men only care about sex.

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  • Lonely2
    9 years ago

    Yes your feelings are normal....now about the situation....there are lot of variables here that make it hard to judge the situation....first of all is the sex any good...I mean do you both have strong attraction for each other...believe me this is not to be underestimated...was he ever affectionate or has he always been like this.....many addicts come from dysfunctional families and did not get a lot of affection and so its hard for them to do that

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  • mamashortcake
    9 years ago

    We actually do the marriage counseling thing at our dr office. They blame it on the fact that we are both recovering addicts and going through it at the same time, however,it would be different and I would beleive that if this hadn't been going on for over a year now. And I have talked to him about it. Everytime we go to have sex I tell him that I wish he would notice me through out the day instead of just when he wants to have sex. That he would be surprised how much different things would be. But thanks guys for the comments!!!

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I think this is a pit many married couples fall into, in time. If you can no longer seduce your man, then things have progressed to a place where some professional help might be beneficial. If the shoe was on the other foot, I might have some more suggestions, but if you have tried every way you know to seduce him and it is all for naught, then I just don't know, sorry.

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  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    Go to marriage counseling or everything will go to shit. I would divorce him if he's not even trying.

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