Is it normal that my husband uses spanking as domestic discipline?

55% Normal
20 Comments

When my husband and I married we agreed to practice "domestic discipline." That means, that he would be the boss, and when I disobeyed him he would punish me. He is older, big and tall, and all that, so I thought it would be hot if when I displeased him he turned me over his knee and spanked my bare bottom like a naughty little girl. Now, after 3 years of marriage, sometimes it scares me, because I try hard to please him, but end up screwing up very often and getting spanked. My husband spanks me with a wooden spoon, a belt or his hand, always on the bare bottom, from 30 to 200 swats--but always until I am sobbing. Sometimes it is hot, and turns me on, but now a lot of the time it just scares and upsets me, and it hurts so bad to sit down, pretty much constantly, because my bottom is always at least a little sore. When I talk to my hubby about how I feel, he just tells me to behave, and it won't happen. He also reminds me that we agreed on this in the beginning. Is this a normal relationship?

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55% Normal
Based on 445 votes (246 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • teresh
    10 years ago

    Domestic Discipline can work and form the basis of a loving and full marriage if the attitude is right from both parties. Punishment should be given on the basis of what a wife needs, and never on the basis of what a husband wants. The wife should always feel that any punishment is deserved and in proportion to what she did wrong. Punishment as a means of diet control can work providing the weight goal is realistic. Even then, the wife should only be punished if she has obviously eaten something she shouldn't have, were the error was clearly avoidable. IMO, The role of punishment should be to associate pain received with an inappropriate action, so as to reduce the desire to repeat the inappropriate action.

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    It sounds like a "total control" (I think that's what it's called) relationship. They're quite alot of people in the BDSM circuit that don't agree with a 24/7 relationship. This is a bit tricky. Try to convey your seriousness and that you're not role playing with him. If he still doesn't listen, then find someone that will.

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  • MBsomething
    8 years ago

    I'm glad you posted this because I totally want that kind of marriage but don't know if I'd really be up to it. Spanking fantasy is the only way I can orgasm so I'm definitely into it. I just don't know if the real thing would be as great as my imagination. I had a short lived DD relationship but I was drunk the whole time so it was cloudy. Now I don't drink so I'd feel every smack. Now I'm turned on so I'm going for the vibrator. Oh but anyway I'm sorry you're scared. That sucks. If you're even still married.

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    • Loretta
      5 years ago

      If you want that kind of marriage, the next time you do something you know was wrong, walk up to your husband, pull your pants down and lay across his lap. I'd rather take a spanking than yelling or lectures any day.

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  • Shiny_Down
    9 years ago

    Sounds like he's turning it into some kind of psychological power play for himself. Tell him that some is fine, but he can't take it too far. If you don't set boundaries/a limit, it will never stop, and it will probably intensify into something worse. I can't emphasize enough how important establishing those boundaries is. Remind him that the domestic discipline was meant to HELP your relationship, not HURT it like it currently is.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    That's pretty hot. You naughty girl you. OBEY

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  • jadepoet
    12 years ago

    tell him if he does it again to the point where you are unhappy you'll cut his dick off off, or something of the sort. i have been him, it is an awful person to be. shock and aww let him know you are not fucking around.

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  • Its_Called_Love
    12 years ago

    For the love of God leave him. If he isn't respecting your wishes, he doesn't love you. Marriage is Love and Love is Respect. You're situation will only get worse I promise you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Wow, I wouldn't have thought this would be seen as such a serious situation. I still love him, he's good-looking, smart, and charming. And sometimes, I appreciate the dd, like it has helped me not overeat and gain wait, for fear of punishment, and such. I guess maybe my main angst is because on a few occasions he has spanked me for things that I feel were total accidents, e.g.. dropping and breaking something, running late, forgetting an errand. It's the stuff like that that scares and angers me, and yet he gets very angry when I argue that they were accidents. Says that I am careless, don't care enough about what he wants, and so on.

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      • Its_Called_Love
        12 years ago

        When he says your careless and don't care enough about what he wants, thats plain manipulation. And does he seem to care about what you want? This anger that scares you, there is a reason its scary, its because its no longer about punishing you when you're bad, it's about him being able to physically hurt you when you make him mad. He obviously has little self control and will just continue manipulating you making everything that goes wrong your fault. He is acting like a grown man throwing a temper tantrum. Also for the weight gain, you should want eat healthy and take care of yourself for you, not because you're scared of being spanked...

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      • RogerBodger
        5 years ago

        I don't see this as a serious situation. Your obedience is a really important part of the natural order. For some women that will mean submitting to punishments while other men assert themselves in other ways. Your husband is physically punitive and you just need to accept that.

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  • hastiva
    2 years ago

    it would be normal if you still agreed to it

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  • Yespleassse123
    5 years ago

    I always find it better to submit to my husband's discipline. As much as it hurts, I know that he is right!! Be grateful that spankings are his discipline of choice, enemas are much worse and far more humiliating!

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  • Loretta
    5 years ago

    I always wanted a domestic relationship. I thought it would be hot as hell to be spanked and made to stand in a corner. But my husband didn't seem interested. Then he spanked me in anger and it was the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to me.So, if both parties consent to the arrangement beforehand, who cares if it's normal as long as it works? If it's against your will, it's abuse.

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  • red865
    6 years ago

    I'm in the same kind of marriage too! I agreed to this beforehand. I get the lecture, the same feelings as you--scared, ashamed, humiliated, he's not done till I break down into sobs--but as much as I hate it, I know it really helps my behavior. Just think how we might be if we weren't corrected. My hubby is hot, loving, and gives me the world--and he loves me enough to correct my bitchy ways.

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    • RogerBodger
      5 years ago

      You sound very down to Earth and sensible

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    If you gain a few extra pounds, specifically in the region of your ass and hips, then his spankings wont hurt as much. Is he correcting you whilst spanking? If he isnt then he really isnt doing you any favors since you wont be able to know what you did wrong. How large is his penis and testicles? Is there large amounts of hair on both?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      I hate the way I look when I gain even a bit of weight, so I don't think that will happen.
      Of course he always yells at me or lectures me before hand, making it clear what I did "wrong". I just hate it when he does it in a way that makes me feel ashamed, and want to cry, before the spanking even starts. Sometimes he is more rational and gentle though, and that I can deal with.
      I have to wonder what the size of his penis and testicles have to do with anything. But since this is an anonymous venue, I'll just say that he is plenty large in both areas, and is not overly hairy.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        I still say you should gain some extra weight, after all you are married its all downhill from here anyway. Lets say for instance you were throwing a dinner party and you "screwed up" would he commence with a spanking on the spot or wait until privacy presents itself?

        Any time is a good time for discussing genital size.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          He would probably wait until everyone had left, and then do it before we went to bed. He hasn't really done anything in public aside from one smackers on my fully clothed tush.
          I may be married, but I still respect myself enough to take care of my body, thanks though! :)

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