Is it normal that procrastination is ruining my life?
I've had this problem for most of my life. I had a good relationship with my teachers back in school because I always worked well in class and showed an interest but I was never able to do much work outside of class. The problem got worse and worse as I got older but, generally, teachers were lenient when I handed work in really late because they thought I was a good student.
The problem is not just that I used to get in trouble with teachers but also that the anxiety of not having something done is physically excruciating. It makes me feel ill to think of all the work I have due in, my muscles tense and it makes me cry sometimes. It leads to awful insomnia and it really makes me hate myself because I know that I am responsible for the problem. It also means that I have no practically social life or hobbies as I put nearly all of my time aside to work but just end up sitting at my desk doing nothing or daydreaming for hours on end. I end up having to stay up all night many times in a single week and each time I get nothing done. Finally, the big problem is that it may lead to me dropping out of college.
In my final year of school, the problem got really really bad so that I just didn't leave my room for weeks on end and couldn't face anyone because of anxiety. After doing no work for the year I had to sit my exams which determined what college I got into and it seemed to me that I wouldn't get into any college. In the end I was lucky and managed to get into a course that I was interested in in an OK university.
I was hoping to defer my course for a year and maybe take a step back from work, because I thought this might help me tackle my problem. My parents were against me taking a year off and insisted that I start college.
Now that I'm in college my problems remain the same.I have essays that were due in months ago that I haven't begun yet and these essays are necessary to pass the year. My tutors all think that I'm a good student and I do well in tests and contribute in tutorial discussions. I'm afraid that I'll fail the year and have no more options left...
I know college isn't necessary but, as strange as this may sound, I would eventually like to get a job in academia.
Generally, people don't take me seriously when I try and tell them about the problem and they assume my problem is that I'm too relaxed about work.
I know people have asked about procrastination before but I feel that my case is a bit different because it is not simply that I "leave things to the last minute." Is it normal to procrastinate this much?