Is it normal this happened to me while playing baseball ?

23% Normal
37 Comments

Recently we had a new batting practice facility put in in our area and we have a new pitching machine as well that can send the ball into our hitters at close to 100 mph. The facility is located near a potato field (in Idaho). Some of your less then reputable youngsters recently took to taking potatoes out of the field and putting them through the machine just to fool around. Well recently when I was working on fixing the far end of the net and home plate one of these same youngsters turned the machine on as fast as it would go (100 mph) and put a potato through it, since I was bending over with my behind facing the machine that potato went right up my ass. Right up it. I went to a proctologist who couldnt quite get all of it out and warned to keep an eye out in case my hemorrhoids starting growing potatoes out of them.

Is it normal that everyone calls me "Bud the ass spud" now? Is it normal if potatoes do grow out of my ass that I pick them and put them to good use by making mashed potatoes with them?

Please answer honestly and dont troll me.

Voting Results
23% Normal
Based on 57 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 37 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Yeah...because yer such a smart fellr who can't detect sarcasm when it's laid on as thick as your Mongoloid tongue...
    Haha..guess I learned not to play along with a retard's bullshit story for humor's sake.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Sarcasm is always a weapon used by those whose intellect doesnt match up to the person they are engaged with.

      Nice try though.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Exactly...might be a good time for you to concede hahaha. I can't load the crayon app to my phone so I can spell it out for you in a way that your 5th grade education would let you understand.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      More sarcasm just proves the point further that I already made.

      You can keep posting though, its entertaining bantering with those that are inferior to myself.

      The crayon app was an especially nice touch, though I doubt some as buffoonish as yourself thought it up.

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      • dalmationUntoyourSoul
        11 years ago

        you eat your own ass-spuds. that makes you superior how? and what subculture sings you prolapsed potato praises?

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Anyway..to answer your question. Your Dr. is obviously a quack. As many times as your rectum has been plowed and fertilized, potatoes won't grow in hemroids without mid-season cultivation.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      You talk as if you have experience dealing with hemorrhoids (correct spelling btw).

      Tell me when your boyfriend penetrates you anally how do you get any enjoyment out of it? Or do you clench your teeth in dealing with it telling yourself, at least someone loves me.

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  • YoungerSis
    10 years ago

    Can we all say B U L L S H I T story.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    Bud got a hold of his Mom's laptop again.
    Don't make me tell your Momma that you're messin around on the internet, Bud!

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  • Hotdogforever
    12 years ago

    X{ thats gross

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  • imintrouble
    12 years ago

    Ha! Oh god. That must have been terrible :( well it's not normal becasue most people dont potatoes in the pitching machine. did it hurt?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      It was very painful, I have to take painkillers now until all the potatoes finally grow up and out of my ass.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      It went right up my ass, what do you think?

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  • mattsaballer5
    12 years ago

    LOL!!!!! Sorry man but funny as hell

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Yes but what should I do about it?

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  • InvadingPotatoLeader
    12 years ago

    This.. is unbearable..
    What happened to the potatoes?
    Just don't be surprised when Idaho gets invaded by an army of potatoes..

    Soon...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      I was hoping you would find the story. What took you so long?

      Instead I had to deal with pretentious inferiors like obscurereason.

      If you dont enjoy troll posts you shouldnt bother denigrating the poster, in the end we trolls win. Always.

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  • Blue_Velvet
    12 years ago

    This is probably yet another troll story. Made me laugh though.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I do enjoy a good slam-rap session, but I have to return to work and I'm a little uneasy with the erotic feelings I obviously inspire in you. I will apologize for the misspelling..it happens.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      No need to apologize I find its always easier to make certain concessions when dealing with those that have been "handicapped" with subpar intellects.

      Your originality is less then refreshing as well, and here I thought you had some potential with the crayon app remark, but all you did was take what I said and repeat it.

      Back to work huh? Make sure that grill is nice and clean, how many burgers a day do you churn out at that McDonald's anyway?

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        btw..."less then refreshing?"

        I guess grammatical corrections would prove as weak as pointing out typos or minor spelling errors...1/1

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          yes, "less then refreshing", as in dull, dreary, without originality.

          Anything else stump you that I need to explain further so your piddling, poor excuse for a brain can understand

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          • [Old Memory]
            12 years ago

            Hahaha..that would be "less 'than' refreshing." Next time ask your mom to check your grammar.

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            • [Old Memory]
              12 years ago

              ...but thank you, so much, for correcting my spelling mistakes and typos while not once, but twice, repeating a serious word usage error that every middle school graduate in the U.S. can identify...while calling me a dumbass.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Unlike yourself, I don't live in my mother's basement, bleeding her Social Security Security, while planted in front of a computer. I earn an honest living supporting a wife and three children.

        While taking a shit at work, surfing IIN, I intentionally took the bait on this thread, hoping that the o.p. would open the door to some solid sarcastic fun. A couple of light chuckles later...it devolved into a Tommyboyesque "No...you are the dumb guy" episode. How sad.

        Early in my 44 years on this planet, I learned that some conceal their intelectual shortcomings well enough to deceive their peers and survive, but mental midgets stand in a sea of giants, touting how tall they are...while demeaning the height of those among which he stands.

        Maybe it's experience, or maybe I simply shouldn't have held such high hopes among so many young pups...*sigh* the search continues...

        By the way...the last time your tongue stuck to the window of the little bus you rode to school, did you have to wait till it thawed, or did someone grab your helmet and help you tear it away? If so...that had to hurt.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          Haha, when in doubt its always a good excuse to throw out the "living in mothers basement" defense. Again sorry nothing original about that one.

          You mistake me for someone who cares whether you earn an honest living or not, in much the same way you think it pertinent to this exchange to mention being married and having kids. Has your wife started the inevitable slide into obesity yet? Its hard to believe she hasnt after shitting out 3 kids. But then again judging from your posts your most likely overweight as well. How often do you look at yourself in the mirror in an effort to convince yourself that you are truly happy? It must be difficult to raise kids on a minimum wage salary like you earn, but at least you have kids and thats all that matters right?

          BTW, intellectual is spelled this way. But thats a big word and at least you tried to use it.

          Its always fun to confront those who instead of actually being intelligent somehow managed to convince themselves that they are.

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    I'm pretty baffled by this and honestly, there were a few times that I chuckled on this.... For that I'm extremely sorry.

    When I first read the title, many things when through my head. From being sexually assaulted to getting hit in the head with a ball.... I wasn't expecting this.

    Can't you press charges? Why didn't your doctor admit you for surgery? If you couldn't pay, you could've sued those bastards for the injury they caused you. How do you even function, let alone use the loo?

    I feel bad for you on that part, but then you said that you literally pull spuds from your ass and cook them!!! That's not normal, actually this whole predicament isn't "normal". If you get sick, then that's your fault! That's so disgusting!

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Hope you learned your lesson...keep your pants up when you bend over in front of a pitching machine...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      My pants werent pulled down, I would lose my job as an educator for doing something like that around kids.

      Obviously the machine was set so high and the potato was traveling so fast that it ripped through my pants when it hit me.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Ah..obviously...

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          To someone with average intelligence it would have been obvious but since you are obviously (look that word again) of below average intelligence I dont mind spelling the entire situation out.

          Why would anyone conduct a baseball practice with their pants down around their ankles??

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          • dalmationUntoyourSoul
            11 years ago

            because you have loose morals and are a pedophile?

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I've also been trying to figure out how the potato made it past your head...or did someone talk you into pulling that out just before they launched it?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      My head would never fit in my ass. Unlike you, my head and brain are much to large to fit.

      Plus I havent been plowed anally by large, hairy men the way you have so my anus is the size it should be, apart from the potato finding its way in there.

      Though you understand I know, you cant be a stranger to foreign objects finding their way into your orifice judging by your many responses so far.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Hmm...the additional descriptive text that you typed into your response proves that I must've struck a nerve with your personal homoerotic fantasies. That's a little disturbing..but to each his own.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          Last chance for something original, give it some thought.

          Eat something to give yourself some nourishment, I know being as overweight as you obviously are means you should probably be cutting back I just thought you would want to give yourself the best chance you could.

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