Is it normal to ask that my autistic neighbor be more considerate?

79% Normal
9 Comments

I may be going to hell for this post, but that's why I created it -- because it's clearly disrupting my life and the lives of our fellow tenants.

I live in a small, quiet (up until recently) apartment complex. A week ago, a new tenant moved into the unit right next to mine.

Since the moment he arrived, he can't seem to leave me and our fellow tenants alone. Knocking on our doors, drawing us into long-winded monologues, inviting us over, texting at midnight (I was smart enough to not give him my number), butting into conversations, and leaving his door wide open and hanging in the common area 24x7. He treats the place like a college dormitory or a navy barracks.

The kid has what's called high-functioning autism -- he's partially limited, but is educated and able to actively join the workforce. Some of his habits (speaking loudly; slamming doors to his unit, the kitchen cabinets and the outer door) are likely due to his condition, but he is nevertheless a blatant disturber of the peace. Can he help that he speaks loudly? Probably not. Can he refrain from calling his girlfriend at 1:00 a.m. and gabbing for hours on the other side of my living room wall? Absolutely! You may think I'm exaggerating; sadly, I'm not.

One of the other tenants (Paul) complains about him constantly to me via text. I'm sick of reading about it and I'm sick of dealing with the disturbances. Paul has asked him to be quieter, but he's afraid of treading on the delicate nature of the disorder.

Friends and family members of autistic people like to get crazy-defensive and expect the rest of us to cater to their setbacks. But what about us? We lived in peace and quiet and we liked it that way. Now, this kid shows up and everyone is miserable.

What's to be done?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 39 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Short4Words
    10 years ago | pl

    Simple. Don't treat him like he's that different. If he were anyone else then you would have said something by now, or someone else would have. If he's capable of taking a hint, then that's what you should do. Otherwise I guess it's the landlord's problem? I'm sure this guy would like to know if he's causing such a disturbance, I think the key thing you are forgetting though is yea, he probably just doesn't realize it is causing any harm, it seems part of the disorder. So talk to him, do your best not to sound like an ass, but let him know that it's not okay to be having loud conversations throughout the night.

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  • highrider
    10 years ago

    Just tell him to be more considerate. Just cause he's autistic doesn't mean he has full right to be a class 5 aholes

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    • highrider
      10 years ago

      Ahole*

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    Well did the tenant complain to him? I think if the tenant is not explaining this to him he might not realize its bothering anyone. If they did ask him and he is not than you ask him to stop doing it. As the tenant if he asked him to stop. Some people dont always get when they are bothering others. You have to tell them in a clear and direct way.

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    It's a difficult situation that is on sensitive ground... Despite this, I think you all should confront him and tell him to try to be a bit more considerate. If not, you could always complain to the landlord.

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  • shadowlands
    10 years ago

    I work with mentally disabled adults with behavior issues. A lot of the ones I work with have autism.

    He might not understand that he is being rude. A lot of times people who are autistic do not understand social rules/standards, have a hard time understanding and expressing emotions, and might have a language processing delay due to the spectrum.

    Try approaching him and asking him to keep noise down past a certain time. Be upfront and honest but not confrontational. He might come off as an asshole, but a lot of times that is just the autism and the person not being able to connect on the personal level.

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  • Tommythecat.
    10 years ago

    How dare you.

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  • Freedom_
    10 years ago

    Autistic people don't have feelings, so don't worry about hurting them... I'm just kidding, that is a horrible thing to say. I just don't know. I've never really interacted with a grown person with autism. If he can follow work rules he ought to be able to follow house rules.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    He sounds a lot like me.

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