Is it normal to be addicted to my own fart?

An addiction huh? You better slow down or you'll throw your life away for the wicked methane. it'll slowly progress. Sure, you're gettin a whiff here and there now, maybe you cup a fart now and again. An innocent dutch oven to brighten your day. But soon that's not gonna cut it. You'll find yourself inhaling your fecal particals before noon just to stop shaking. Avoiding friends and family to focus on using. It'll get worse. You'll stay up for days on end because you don't want to let a fart get away unsavored during sleep. You'll find yourself fine tuning your diet to get the high quality raw shit, consuming copious amounts of the musical fruit. Your job performance will suffer due to time spent huffing gas. You'll be fired, but you'll secretly want that so you can spend more time with your ass. Your addiction will consume your shame and you'll do it in public places, at the bank, your nephews birthday party, at outback steakhouse, it won't matter. You may overdose a few times and pass out from lack of oxygen when mainlining from a garden hose. Oh yes, the breath of the devil will control every aspect of your pathetic life.

But i offer you hope. I'm going to put myself out there and tell you i'm a recovering fart sniffer. I attend F.A. (flatulence anonymous) twice a week in the basement of a local church. You don't have to follow the road i chose. Do it for your friends, do it for family, but most importantly do it for yourself.

Why don't you just fart in a bag or something. Might make it easier on your spine...

I know I can fart anyone under the table, just try me.

This is funny because I catch my brother with his head in between his legs from time to time, and oddly enough there is a horrid stench to follow. I've asked him and he denies it every time, haha. So I guess your not the only one :p