Is it normal to be afraid of my mom

40% Normal
11 Comments

Since I was a little girl I have been very afraid of my mother. As I’ve gotten older I have felt nothing but fear, sadness, and anxiety around her. She has always put pressure on me to be the perfect kid, choosing my career choices, my religion, my hobbies, my friends, and even some of my boyfriends for me. I have never had options, and if I strayed even slightly from the path I was supposed to be on, I was ridiculed for it. I am 20 years old and still have immense anxiety around her, the fear of messing something up and getting reprimanded for it. Every time we fight it always ends up with her always being right and that I am always wrong, when I told her I felt depressed, she said I was being dramatic.. when I cut my legs and arms I was just doing it for attention. When I attempted to kill myself a few years ago, I didn’t understand real pain and I would never belong in the real world. When being around groups of people or strangers and I have a panic attack I’m just making it up for attention. My mother had a really bad child hood where she was neglected, and raped at one point, and she uses this as backlash on me. Don’t get me wrong I feel sorry it happened to her but if I am suffering, it doesn’t seem to matter at all to her at all.

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 5 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    Yes, she’s scary.
    My mother was raped too, but she doesn’t remember it.
    I was also sexually abused, but I don’t have much memory either. Both of us have blocked out most of it, but I personally still get enough body feelings and start smelling things sometimes that I’ll have panic attacks, and then my mother just tells me to quit freaking myself out or to get over it. She doesn’t understand the scared I feel constantly and that hurts :(

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    • Emokate
      6 years ago

      How did you figure it out with no memories? I have virtually no memory from before I was adopted and I'm still young enough that I should. My parents just say that no one remembers being a kid but Idk, I think they do.

      Sorry all that happened.

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      • [Old Memory]
        6 years ago

        My therapist said it’s because of trauma and that I’ve blocked it out, but all of my symptoms point towards sexual abuse. And I agree because i have had times in which I think I might be remembering some things, and I’ve thought about it and it even makes sense for the situation I was in, as my birth father was a registered sex offender and pedophile.

        My mom thinks that people don’t remember being kids either, but I don’t think that’s true because I have friends who remember things from when they were 3 years old.

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        • Emokate
          6 years ago

          I've never had a therapist cause my dad says I am just being manipulative and that they are going to put lies into my head.

          He is ultra religious tho and says that if I don't straighten out I will go to hell.

          I get straight A's and have never touched anyone sexually or done drugs or anything and still all that.

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        • Emokate
          6 years ago

          Wow, you are so strong to know all that. I don't think I would ever be able to know. I prefer to pull my covers over me and block out the world and cuddle my dogs.

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          • [Old Memory]
            6 years ago

            Trust me, I don’t want to know. But it’s just told to me and the feelings come out of nowhere. It’s not strength it’s insanity.

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            • Emokate
              6 years ago

              I don't blame you for not wanting to know, and yeah it is insanity, but facing your past is very brave, don't sell yourself short.

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  • Emokate
    6 years ago

    My parents act the same way. I'm scared they will throw me out soon. They say I am a pathetic loser and dramatic and stuff too.

    I am sorry you are going through it as well. No one should have to be afraid.

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  • Shay101
    6 years ago

    Sometimes you just gotta leave alone what is not good for you...if can...stay away as much as possible.. you have to live your life the way it was wrote for you to live...not by her standards..she has mixed up controlling with guidance..it sounds like.. she want what is good for you.. but she is mean.. sometimes you gotta stand up for what is right.. I know I had to do it with my father today as a matter of fact..it is scary...no doubt about it.. but you must do it..for you..

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  • JellyBeanBandit
    6 years ago

    To put it bluntly, she's ruining your life, has failed you as a mother, and is continuing to do irreparable damage to your mental health. You'd probably be best to move out as soon as possible if you can. You don't even owe her a reason or even to keep in contact with her ever again. In fact it would probably do you good to stay away from her for a while, to build up your self-esteem and repair the damage she's done. I don't know if you're in any position to be able to move out right now, but you should really try to for your own sake.

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  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    you are 20 , find a boyfriend and move in with him. Millions of men age 40 and up are free and would welcome the sex. they wanted to get married but the women were all gold diggers and were not willing to settle for dating losers. now they are cat ladies and the mens penis still works fine.

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