Is it normal to be afraid of sex because im fat?

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I am overweight and that isn't in a 'I'm actually a size 12 but just feel insecure' kinda way- I'm a large girl. I happen to be lucky enough to have fat in the right places so I have hourglass figure etc and men still find me attractive- sometimes I get asked out 5-6 times in a day. But when I find someone I like I am terrified of seeing them because I think that they are only asking me out for a joke. I'm terrified to have sex with guys because I think they won't be able to get hard looking at me, or they will only be fucking me for a dare or to tell the lads that they banged a fat bird and hey can all laugh about me. I know that's most likely ridiculous bc who has the time to make plans like that but still, I think it. It's starting to get to me because I ignore everyone whose interested but I am always super lonely and horny lol. H E L P.

Voting Results

79% Normal

Based on 14 votes (11 yes)

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Comments ( 57 )

charli.m

6 years ago

Get to a place where you feel comfortable being you, whatever size that may be. A range of people like a range other people. There's no one perfect match.

Health and comfort are the most important things.

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EccentricWeird

6 years ago

Lose weight. Unless you have a rare systemic hormonal or digestive disorder, your only excuse is yourself. Bonus is that you don't die at 40.

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Anonymous Post Author

6 years ago

Okay so seeing as I can't delete this post I'm gonna say this one more time for anyone who wants to comment. I don't need to know that I needed to loose weight- I am doing so and I have lost another stone since I wrote this original post. I am an ordinary size now, a size 14, im just not at my goal so I'm still trying to loose a bit more. My issue is that even with weight dropping off and feeling more confident in nicer clothes etc, I still don't like my body and I feel uncomfortable with partners etc because I still don't like my body. If anybody has any actual help to give me for these issues, I am very much interested and I'll be all ears. I don't need diet tips such as stop eating cake because I don't and I'm loosing the weight fine without you. Body confidence tips or I literally don't care.

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potato101

6 years ago

I bet you are beautiful and if a person doesn't like that about you they are not worth it. You will find someone that does like you for who you are you just have to find that special somebody!

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19sammi91

6 years ago

So I don't know why ppl are hating what I have to say here but I will say this.. some of us bigger "fatter/chubby" girls are very insecure about our bodies... some of us (like the author of this poat) are losing weight but it does not change our mindset straight away once we gain our weight we want.. I am only trying to help the poor girl cause I know how she feels!!

To the author... keep up with the good work in losing weight I am sure by the end of it you will look fantastic! You have got to start somewhere.. I don't mean this to be mean or cruel but it is all in your head.. once you believe your beautiful you will start to love your body and then you won't be ashamed of your body.. think positive not negative (trust me when I say it works!!)

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- nikkiclaire
  
  6 years ago
  
  One of the best things to do is get involved in a sport or activity such as yoga or swimming at a gym. Hang out with fit healthy people and become part of their group. By associating with people who are into physical fitness you will begin to feel like a part of, instead of alone. You'll start to look at yourself as one of them and slowly build confidence as you reach goals. Not weight goals but goals within the activity you associate with.
  
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  - 19sammi91
    
    6 years ago
    
    It's not that I don't agree with you (I DO) but in my case it is hard when you live pretty much in the middle of nowhere where you literally don't know anyone anymore...or if there are none of those things or have to travel (in my case) 1.5 hrs to get somewhere that does it
    
    BUT I totally agree as being a part of something will always help he mind and body :)
    
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    - nikkiclaire
      
      6 years ago
      
      Since you are isolated find websites with chats or forums where you can interact with healthy people and discuss goals etc. NOT this godforsaken site.
      
      There are plenty of legit websites for all activities that are healthy. Just pick an activity and stop making excuses.
      
      You can obviously get to a store to eat, so you can find somewhere to go to be healthy too. I don't mean that as a slam it's just the truth.
      
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JonathanOo

6 years ago

Be confident in yourself (That's what everyone will tell you)

In reality its much easier to not think about those things at all to get past them. Go on a date, find that special person and a few months later if you're both really into each other you can get through those mental hurdles together. Right now your blocking off any chance of getting that far because you're afraid that itll just be a joke on you when in reality it could be a lot You're missing out on

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- nikkiclaire
  
  6 years ago
  
  Why was this down voted 4 times. This is good advice. You people are animals.
  
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Anonymous Post Author

6 years ago

Okay just to clarify so I don't get the same comments over and over- I am loosing weight, have lost 6 stone and have 4 more to go but it doesn't happen overnight. This question isn't me asking if I should loose weight it's how to get rid of the issues I have with my body that will stay with me once I loose he rest of my weight.

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- Murun
  
  6 years ago
  
  Lose.
  Lose is the opposite of find.
  Loose is the opposite of tight.
  
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Itiswhatitisfuxkwhatitwas

6 years ago

"They hate us cuz they ain't us"
James Franco - The Interview!!

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19sammi91

6 years ago

You wouldn't be the first person!! I'm not sure how "overweight" you exactly are but I'm not that dissimilar to you.. I'm quite a large girl myself and I find myself to be unattractive so I would think how can guys think I am attactive..?? And I am a lot like you.. if a guy asked me out I thought he was joking or trying to get a laugh out of it.. I'm not saying that all guys are like that though.. just be careful

So here's the thing... I've met 2 guys in the past few years that it didn't matter what my size was.. 1 especially loves bigger girls.. I've been very insecure about my body because of my weight.. my tip is: for guys to love your body you've got to love your body first (and don't worry I'm still not past that but I'm getting there..

So my advice in saying all that.. get to know the guys you like and see where they're at.. DO NOT PANIC that's always been the key factor with me.. even buy some sexy lingerie for YOURSELF that has helped me out a bit you dont have to buy it to be sexy to guys it can be for yourself :)

Be brave!!

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- Ratmanforelife
  
  6 years ago
  
  Look, some guys have a fetish for fat ugly cows like you and this OP. We're known as "Chubby chasers" All we see when we see your type is a big fat piece of meat we want to fuck. That's all you are.
  
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  - nikkiclaire
    
    6 years ago
    
    Stfu and be nice
    
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  - 19sammi91
    
    6 years ago
    
    And I am aware of this but think of in our perspective... how do we know your serious?? I forgone have been teased for my size so how could I possibly accept that someone would like/want me because of that... yes I am "fat" and that's what scares us the most
    
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Redrick

6 years ago

A feel I have grew up a lot in recent years and like bigger woman towards skinny ones by a long shot there also so much better in bed. A size 12 plus is totally normal for women especially if they have had kids

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nikkiclaire

6 years ago

Btw to put it in perspective. I weight 106. So you have to lose one and a half of me. Sometimes reality is hard but you have to hear it. Sex is the least of your concerns.

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Murun

6 years ago

Plenty of men have a preference for big women. Some of them don't even like to admit it, for a similar reason that some large women assume they're unattractive... TV and advertising media bombarding us with what we're 'supposed' to find attractive.

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lilreb2020

6 years ago

Your right, no one wants to be fucking a fat girl and if someone did fuck you it would probably off their bucket list or just a joke.

Just being honest, sorry not sorry start exercising and lay off the cake.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I know that, otherwise I wouldn't have said it in my original post lol. You don't have to tell me that I need to loose weight- if you actually read my post you would know I'm already doing that. This post was for me to find out how to accept my body once it is at a healthy weight, and it's not for guys like you to make yourselves feel better by making me feel bad. If you have any advice on body issues then by all means, share. Otherwise I am not interested. Oh, and by the way- I don't actually like cake. You shouldn't make assumptions about people you don't know, bad karma
  
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  - lilreb2020
    
    6 years ago
    
    Oh I get it "im not looking for people who give me the truth and negative feed back, I'm just looking for someone who gives me attention and sugar-coats this"
    
    I get it.
    
    You put your flaws out onto the internet then you get shocked that you don't get the kind of feedback that you want, well boo hoo honey the internet doesn't work that way.
    
    How about you go exercise and stop complaining, maybe you'll get a guy that will actually love you instead of a fuck and run, I'm surprised a guy will even fuck a whale anyway.
    
    At least you're anon, so it's not THAT embarrassing.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      I told you I wasn't interested lol what a waste of your time
      
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      - lilreb2020
        
        6 years ago
        
        I'm not a fitness trainer so i don't care that you exercise or not. You can just continue to being an ugly whale though lol
        
        I know how to type fast though, thanks. It's not a waste of time when I get my point across and it takes less than a min to type that.
        
        You're interested enough to reply to everyone that is giving you the facts ;)
        
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nikkiclaire

6 years ago

Please stop worrying about sex and lose weight. I'm not saying this to be mean. I treat overweight people everyday and it's a grave health concern. Unless you want a life of misery please consult with a doctor.

If I remember my days from Australia a stone is 13 lbs. Congrats on losing 6 but sweety that's 78 lbs. That's way to much. Pm me on the body issues and for help.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I mean I know all the health issues, which is why I want to carry on loosing so much! I have been obese since childhood and even the photos of me as a small child I was fat and I know my mum used to over feed us and use food as punishments, but looking back made me realise I'd let it go on too long. I'm just terrified that I'll loose it all and still feel the way I do about my body and then not know when to stop loosing weight? My cousin was about 23st and then lost her weight, ended up with anorexia and bulimia because she still thought she was fat and couldn't see how much shed lost. She ended up loosing two children because she couldn't stay healthy. Do you really think you can help with the body issues?
  
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  - nikkiclaire
    
    6 years ago
    
    I work with people like you every day. Honestly you should seek professional help if you're worried but yes I can help support you.
    
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- charli.m
  
  6 years ago
  
  ...only, Australia hasn't used stone as a weight measurement in your supposed life time...
  
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  - nikkiclaire
    
    6 years ago
    
    Omg you're right. How could I possibly know about things that existed before I was born. God you're dim. Don't make this thread about me. OP deserves some respect.
    
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    - charli.m
      
      6 years ago
      
      OP does, yes. And you also deserve to be called out when you lie.
      
      Don't bullshit if you don't want to be called on it. Someone of your supposed age would not have used stone regularly. It's not taught as a measurement. Yet here you are acting like you used it in Australia.
      
      OP should also be aware that you attempt to fat shame people you don't like, based on nothing more than you don't like them and you think "fat" is the highest of insults.
      
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      - nikkiclaire
        
        6 years ago
        
        I call you fat because you are. As others have said you are similar to Rosie O'Donnell
        
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        19sammi91
        
        6 years ago
        
        "I call you fat because you are" I'm sorry but how derogatory can you get... this is my point.. you are pointing that out to us!! Do you have any idea.. any at all to how that makes us feel?!? We know we are fat and yet we have specialists/therapists like you (and in some cases family and friends too) pointing out that we are fat.. that's just saying the things we already know do therefore putting us deeper in the damn hole of self loathing... no wonder we are in such bad ways some of us...
        
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        charli.m
        
        6 years ago
        
        Let's straighten this out, seeing as you and reality and facts aren't on speaking terms, apparently.
        
        1. You called me fat because you don't like me and you think that's a good insult.
        2. A troll voiced it's opinion based on nothing (you seem to be on the same page there) and you're taking that as proof.
        
        Good luck with that, sonny.
        
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      - nikkiclaire
        
        6 years ago
        
        I work in a physical therapists and I am required to know all units of measurement. Yes I am hard on fat people because I see the devastating effects of it daily. I also see fat people continue to ruin their lives and waste my time when they walk in with 600 calorie Starbucks drinks and bitch at me for not reaching their goals. So yes I do get pissed and fat shame, I'm human.
        
        Also I grew up in Australia and my grandmother had a scale with stones. My dad still has one.so nice try. Find someone else to bother moron.
        
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        charli.m
        
        6 years ago
        
        I fail to see how they'd be wasting your time. If you're 19, you're not gonna be qualified to treat anyone.
        
        Can you just come up with a believable story, please?
        
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Yennifer_Of_Vengerburg

6 years ago

They don't give a shit if your fat they want some pussy

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Steven0152

6 years ago

u will get me hard if you wear a strap on

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to be afraid of sex because im fat?