Is it normal to be afraid to ask girls out?

94% Normal
11 Comments

[Little Background]
In 4th grade i asked a girl out for the very first time, she said no then told everyone in the school and i was laughed at for getting rejected.
In 5th grade i asked out 2 different girls and the same thing happened.
In 7th grade i asked a girl out yet i was extremely afraid to but she did say yes but 3 weeks later she broke up with me for another guy and said if it doesn't work out with him she will come back to me (I said no to that)

[Now to my problem]
I'm 19 and in my last year of high school, i haven't ask a girl out since 7th grade. I have friends that are girls and some of i really like but i'm way to afraid to say anything to them so i just continue being there friends. As time goes on i see that they talk to less and less and some has stopped talking to me unless i go up and talk to them.
I don't know what to do about this problem and as i see every friend that i have getting a girlfriend i begin to ask myself if this isn't normal. I'm a very nice person yet i have a very big problem and now wondering if its normal. Plus now that im getting older its starting feel like this problem is ruining my life. Outside im happen yet inside im very sad, i really need help with this.

So is it normal for me to be extremely afraid to ask out girls, or even show that i like them that way?

(P.S Just going to say this because i know some one is going to think it, no i am not gay)
(P.P.S wrote this at 2am for if there's errors i'm really sorry

Voting Results
94% Normal
Based on 79 votes (74 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    sounds like you are scared of rejection which is totally normal

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    sounds like you are scared of rejection which is totally normal

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Dude just go for it, it's better to be told no than never ask and it be a yes right?

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  • PapzBSlim
    11 years ago

    I am sorry you had to experience those rejections in grade school. You are probably concerned about being embarrassed from rejection. You need to realize that now there is a level of maturity you and your peers have achieved. You and your peers should be at a point that if you are rejected, they will not be laughing at you or saying how much they dislike you. I highly doubt a girl who rejects you, for not liking you, will even spend time talking about you after telling you no. You would not mean anything to her unless she really did like you and is just purely dumb.

    You need to have some confidence and if rejected, you need to turn that into even more determination to get another girl. I literally keep trying for other girls if denied. My current girlfriend said, "No, we can't" for like two months and now we are madly in love. I do not suggest hounding a girl but she was and still is my dream girl. Do not become a stalker, just dust yourself off and try again (not necessarily the same girl, but at every opportunity).

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  • nah
    11 years ago

    Last time I asked a girl out... I got kicked in the nuts :(

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    You're only nineteen and you're talking about things which are ruining your life. If you were not so focused on yourself you'll see that there are many other guys that do not have girlfriends.

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  • myownopinions
    11 years ago

    Fearing rejection is completely normal.

    Also, you don't "have" to date anyone, so don't think of it as a problem that is completely ruining your life. It's completely normal for your friends to have girlfriends while you do not.

    Advice: Just ask someone out. If they say no, not a big deal, there will be plenty of girls that you'll like in this world. If they say yes, great. But remember, only ask a girl out if you like her, don't ask her if you're only doing it to get over your fear or want to be like the rest of your friends.

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  • Crazystupidguyhome
    11 years ago

    You're not alone. I'm the same way. Just read the comments for advice, and just think, you're freinds with them, they probibly like you, so just do it nice and normal.

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    Girls (and guys, obviously) are a lot more immature when they're at the age they were when they rejected you. They were not sympathetic and showed no consideration for your feelings because they were just kids. Now you're older and girls your age are less immature, they'll probably be a lot more sympathetic and kinder when you ask them. They won't humiliate you... they might not even reject you :)

    It's normal to fear rejection, but rejection is nothing to fear.

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    • Francophile22
      11 years ago

      Actually it's not been my experience that they are more sympathetic as they age. I had no problem with girls when I was 8-12, but in college and later, I got a lot of bitchy character-assassination put-down/turn-downs, c*teases and even one death threat (she had been dancing with me for two hours, then all of a sudden announced she was lesbian, hated all men and was going to kill me right then and there, so the bouncers threw her out).

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  • ravenna
    11 years ago

    You experienced something traumatic like that at an early age, so yes, it's normal to be afraid of girls now.

    Now, onto the advice. So OP, we have your problem. You are afraid of rejection. Let's really look into it though.

    Imagine it with me. You see this cute girl every day, and want to ask her out. Your heartbeat picks up as you approach her and you're sweating. With some ounce of courage you never knew you had, you manage to ask her to go out with you.

    Now what happens? For the sake of what I'm trying to convey to you, let's say she says the dreaded "No." It is now 3 seconds after she has said those words. What's happening right now? You're still breathing. You're still standing on your two feet.

    And you know what? You are perfectly okay. You still go on with your day. It IS perfectly normal and okay to get rejected. You move forward. Nobody is going to make fun of you OP.

    Girls are just like you, you know! Some of them are probably just as afraid of you to ask you out. If you feel something between you and a girl, go for it. Be confident OP. You can do it!

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