Is it normal to be annoyed over people who need a "pat on the back"?

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22 Comments

I get so annoyed by people who need recognition and praise for every little thing they do. I don't understand why some people think praise is in order for simply doing what's expected, normal and part of life. I don't think there should be an expectation of praise for anything, if you get it it's nice but you shouldn't require it. IIN?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 102 votes (82 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago | pl

    Why do you have a problem with other people who enjoy a lot of external validation? I don't understand how their need for it would affect you personally.

    Many people didn't receive enough approval from their parents/guardians while they were young and developing their self-esteem. So, the adults with the greatest influence over them during their childhood, taught them the things they accomplish are not valued. That feeling stayed with them on into adulthood and it is very difficult for them to overcome.

    Praise people (sincerely) until they don't feel a need for praise any more---which will eventually come.

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    • bananaface
      11 years ago

      I like this comment.:) I agree.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      It affects me when I'm the one they are expecting praise from! There's a few such people in my life, one of which is a very close family member. He's irritating because he fishes for praise ALL the time and funnily enough, he almost never shows appreciation himself, in fact he has virtually no common courtesy or consideration for others.

      It also affects society as a whole, when people don't do the right thing because there's nothing in it for them. People have the attitude that "if nobody is watching, why bother".

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      • wistfulmaiden
        9 years ago

        I think I get you. My husband is one of those people especially when he cleans or, miracle of miracles, cooks (like once a year). He tells me every little thing he does like "h there is a spot of lint on the floor, Im getting it" or "Im going to load these two spoons into the dish washer". Its the way he says it, like Im supposed to be impressed or worse like hes hoping ill just do it instead.
        I suspect this behavior comes from when he was a child and he helped his Mommy..."look I flushed the potty!" "Ohh wow youre such a fantastic boy". Bleh.
        T

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    I get what you're saying. Some people are needy, for whatever reason. Some people come by it honestly and are compensating for something that might be lacking while others may be spoiled and never taught that acting like a three year old is annoying.

    However some things do deserve praise and as a society, I think we fail to acknowledge good people far too frequently. I always give a sincere thank you when someone holds the door for me. And I appreciate one in return. I don't do it for the thanks, but I am annoyed when people don't acknowledge it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    So you hate 90% of the world.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I don't hate them, they just irk me. I've never been into all these silly people games. I find it all so asinine.

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      • catdogman
        10 years ago

        You r a idoit

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  • Ghost-of-the-Marlboro-Man
    11 years ago

    I will pat all smokers on the back.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Because they're having a coughing fit?

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      • Ghost-of-the-Marlboro-Man
        11 years ago

        No, because they are doing the Lord's work. Those aren't clouds up in Heaven. That is cigarette smoke that has drifted up from Earth.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Oh, right! I forgot where clouds came from.

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          • Ghost-of-the-Marlboro-Man
            11 years ago

            Happens to the best of us. Now do your part in building Heaven.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    I hate the people that say "Good job" for the littlest things you do.

    I threw away a piece of paper you fuck wit i didn't end world hunger.

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      Good job being irritated!

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      • Terence_the_viking
        11 years ago

        It's beautiful isn't it.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Good job pointing that out, Lt.

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          • Terence_the_viking
            11 years ago

            Ok just stop right there.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        11 years ago

        Nice job being a positive influence on LtDan!

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    I know the type. When they look for praise just give a withering look and say " Great. Ill have your purple heart ready soon"

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  • e9187
    11 years ago

    Its ok to want someone to acknowledge when you have done something good, but to get in a strop if you dont get it or if you are attention seeking then it is infuriating. You can tell if people are just doing this to attention seek. I hate them people too.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    Gaining praise is like meeting a goal. One should seek it, but not demand it.

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